Hmmmm. I'm spending my Valentine's Day alone... But.. Is that a bad thing? I have my own magic fingers, tantalizing thoughts, dark aberrations, and hidden domain. Plus I can give myself a mind blowing knock out orgasms.
All I need is a day to myself...
Which I have!
😈😈😈
I'm spoiled.
Gifts should be given all year around...
Orgasms - nightly rights! 🤪
Just Thinking Out Loud
~In Search of Truth~
Anger...
A five letter word that can rip your life apart.
While in a controlled scene, it may seem fitting or sexually tantalizing... Outside that, it can be jarring.
Unfortunately, I learned the hard way that anger kills the soul. I recently went off on someone in my vanilla life (still sounds weird to say this). Anyway, I hurt them badly, left them crying. I watched tears flow like waterfalls... Like a special part of heaven released the agony in its soul. I can get to a point that my words cut like fine tuned knife. I do regret it. Only person who can match me is Dom. As I grasped the earnest part of his anger, I began to realize how badly I hurt others with words alone, especially when my anger was completely out of control. He's so controlled... an angel 🧚with double wings compared to me with a broken halo and double horns 😈.
But Doms should be able to control their temper before thinking about being a Dom. Someone could get hurt. But a sub with a temper is more of a tornado effect. Their anger starts off at a distance covered and smothered by their submission but it's getting progressively closer and even more dangerous.
OK so these r my random ass make no fucking sense thoughts of the 3am night. 😁
If you read... Thank you! 😍
Better sleep before he finds me still up 🤫
If you read... Thank you!
Hi My Peeps!
I'm usually so shy but I'm beginning to feel comfortable here. Still searching for myself though.
So,
These last two months have been the most trying that I have ever had in a very long time. Spent last year dodging Covid only for someone close to me in my house to catch it. What should have been a 2 week situation of mild symptoms ended up being a 2 month nightmare. 4 hospital visits, several nights with little to no sleep, endless time crying ….never being able to hug, touch, or love on the person that was right at your fingertips but still felt miles away. When I took them to the doctor, they said they didn't have Covid. That's what they told the doctor. Their voice was so small when they said, "I have Covid". No set of eyes could look at them and the silence was deafening. Every heart was broken as a cruel reality set in, and even darker reality crept into the minds of doctors, who knew far more than I did that this was not simple.
I found solace in the lifestyle. Sometimes not having to thinking (which of course was this brat’s choosing) kept me from overthinking. An amazing Daddy Dom is what I have. I don’t understand how we made it this far…I know quite a few times he wanted to strangle me…quite a few we I wanted to strangle him. So many fights. So much work. Yet there is always something holding us in place even when we walk away. It makes us rock solid.
He was definitely a rock.. a chipped rock.. but def my chipped rock when Covid attacked not one but 2 family members. The many nights I cried and the many mornings he sat up with me…uncomfortably so was a testament to a character trait beyond being just a Dom but also a good person. From break up to make up and make up to break up…yep we are rock solid.
The best thing I have learned is that you have to love a person as they are. Don’t try to change them. Accept them with no strings attached. If they are meant to stay, they will stay. Hold on to that. If they are meant to leave, they will leave. Let them. People are not to meant to be caged birds (unless that’s your thing. Just be the best freaky person you can be🤪). I know my Dom isn’t mine forever but I’m sure going to enjoy while it lasts.
Now, tomorrow might be different. Probably going to want to strangle me. Awe hell! What am I talking about? That’s probably going to be tonight. Gotta keep it fun for he the both of us. 🤷 Smooches peeps!
Just Thinking Out Loud
~In Search of Truth~
Does anyone else hate when their partner has to leave? You want to ask them to stay but you know it's selfish asking it knowing they have responsibilities outside of you. I find myself caring too deep sometimes to almost the point of separation anxiety.
It's crazy because no one knows what we know and I get a thrill from it but at the back of my mind will always be that all good things sooner or later come to an end. So why not enjoy the fuck out of it now. 😜🤪
Just Thinking Out Loud
~In Search of Truth~
Sometimes you fall in love with the right person at the wrong time
Only to find out they
could never, would never
love you like you truly deserve
Leaving you in the midst of wonder if your right person was wrong all along
And just like that...
You are shattered when the light of lies speak undeniable truths
Don't wear rose colored glass
Is what they always told you
I guess now you will listen....
Just Thinking Out Loud
~In Search of Truth~
Ever had one of those days where you are like...
F&^% you &
F*&^ you &
Definitely F*&^ You
Ah screw it! Fuck you, Screw you, Fuck Covid (Seriously over it!)
F-
Then you hear your Dom's voice, Smell his familiar scent, melt in the gentleness of his touch and all else wrong in the world becomes right!
Just Thinking Out Loud
~In Search of Truth~
Sometimes I feel all over the place in this lifestyle. Sometimes I'm like yeah this is it.. I'm where I'm supposed to be. Then other times I'm like what the hell am I doing? Is that even the right thing to do? Then I do what I do best... Research.
I know I'm not the only one.
I remember in college an important conversation about whether or not a teacher is dictating to us how to think and who to be.
My question now is does that research dictate who I am? Does my Dom dictate who I am? Does with help me determine my place in this lifestyle. I love the lifestyle, but is this where I belong?
The thing is...I'm beginning to wonder should I be finding or defining my place in this lifestyle and even in my life instead of others just dictating it?
Just Thinking Out Loud
~In Search of Truth~
There's something different when it comes to her. Maybe it's the way she walks to you, head down but eyes defiant. Maybe it's the way she talks, tone submissive but words smirking. She gets to you under your skin. Torturing her is need but controlling her is must. What makes her think she can touch you -no not physically but soulfully? What gall she must have to question you innocently, making u rethink your choices in life. Yep! She's something special... And she's all yours. Who is she, that makes you want to grab her, push her against the wall
...face first/
...chest first
... With freshly manicured hands spread wide gripping the wall and having heavy anticipatory breaths expel from parted lips
as you help her release all her frustration until she's moaning your name and pleading with you... Until she's putty in your hands... Until she's broken for you and only you.
Yep! She's a special one...
And she's all yours.
Just Thinking Aloud
~In Search of Truth~
Can you be gentle and still be in this lifestyle?
I pride myself on being tough as nails. I like for not just Doms but anyone to fully be themselves around me. I usually can take it. But the oddest thing I found out about myself is that I read energy of a Dom. It keeps me understanding behavior patterns and what may or may not happen next. To do this, one has to be very sensitive & caring. But at what point is the sub being too sensitive and caring about a Dom? A Dom who wants full possession/access of you has too much control in that they have too much access to your heart. Do all Doms think walls are unnecessary? If so, why? Also, if a sub is required not to have walls up, shouldn't the Dom also be required to not have up walls?
Just Thinking Out Loud
~In search of Truth