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Well it's been a while..... been super busy. In 2021 I thought I found my forever, in fact I could have sworn on it.... so much so that when he told me to burn the boats/bridges I went a step further and burned my map as well so making it back home has been rough. My old house and property was an abandoned ruin and I went from only having 60k debt to well over 250k. Men if your wondering this is why girls don't want to give up their jobs and say in budgeting because if it goes the crap... well it usually is pretty bad. But one year later I have my debt back under control. I have gutted my abandoned and destroyed house and started to rebuild. I'm making half of what I made with him but somehow paying down or paid off over 100k in debt. My son is thriving his schooling is off the charts and self control is so much better now. Sadly all this recovery has made it hard, no almost impossible to ever want to relinquish control to anyone else. Why would I at this point there isn't anything I need that I can do myself. Electrical? Got it. Plumbing? Got it. Drywall deconstruction and construction. Finance and investing? Got it. Steady work? Got it. Planning? Got it, and I can still cook clean and craft. So at this point the only thing I'm sad about is this... what I lost was the side of me who wanted to be loved and cherished. Now I just want to be quiet and alone.

Way to often this is the case

Here lately I’ve become tired of the same old thing. It happens on repeat over and over. I receive a message…. I ask did you read my profile. Most have not so then I explain that I’m not looking anything right now but fun chats and reading blogs. To which more often then not I get in one form or another a lecture on how one man’s mistakes shouldn’t make me close down or that I should let the past be the past. What is wrong with taking time to heal? What’s wrong with deciding enough is enough? What’s wrong with doing it the way I want to? And btw who do you think you are? No man or women gets to decide for anyone else what they are and are not ready for or what they want/need. Submissive doesn’t mean unable or incapable. If I want to be the weird ole lady in the woods who lives alone and bothers no one then so be it. I sure won’t tell you what to do with your life…..