I need reminders
Ways of remembering
What matters
Every day, in the depths of illusion,
How easily I swallow,
How easily I forget
How easily I stray
From myself
And what matters
Maurice Sendak’s little-known 1960 illustrations for The Velveteen Rabbit.
You’ve been lying to yourself again - in denial. Somewhere in between righteousness, self-pity, complacency and escapism, it took hold and you didn’t want to face it. So you projected, blamed, made excuses and ran away.
But Truth has a way of showing up.
You keep pushing away the hard things, telling yourself you will deal with it another day. A day turns into a week, a week into a month, a month into…
And then… you’re sick of running. You cannot ignore the signs any longer. You didn’t pull yourself up out of the depths to slowly fall back into a wasteland.
So you accept the discomfort, boredom, reality and unreality.
Instead of falling, smashing on pavement broken and bloodied, you lower yourself back down to the ground and begin again.
You find stillness and strength. You find comfort in acceptance. And you renegotiate your relationship with Real.
Message me
1. I’m very happily taken
2. You don’t have a profile
3. Look dodgy as hell
4. I’m bored with your words
5. I am not an idiot - been there, done that
6. I’m secure in myself and relationships and it’s sad to think that this approach actually lands
7. Learn how to get someone’s attention
8. Put effort in (laws of physics yada yada)
10. Your non-communication communication is the greatest source of information about you
Normally, I wouldn’t but FFS!
Ultimately, because it is so enriching in my life. It makes me shine.
Initially, I fell into it – I presume a bit by chance and a bit by destiny – and it was the novelty and those feel-good chemicals that got me hooked. I started this journey for all the wrong reasons – to fill a void, to feel, to be desired, to be reckless, distraction, avoidance, desperation, stimulation, attention, a kind of externalising of pain, seeking release.
It changed; there was a process, a journey of self-discovery, BDSM, healing, solitude, learning and growing. My ‘why’, what draws me to submission, is the depth of experience, sensation and connection to the world, and now, to another soul who sees, knows and cherishes me. I want to feel deeply that I belong, am valued, am lusted after, am respected, cared for, appreciated while directing my own desire, devotion, sexual expression and naked self in reciprocal exchange with someone who nourishes me. For me, submission is now bound to my way to live and be. It guides and constantly keeps me in check with my purpose, positioning me to hear that which can only be heard in humility, acceptance and grace.
3 years of slow, carefully tended to creation. The depth of experience and fulfillment directly proportional to the depth of submission and intimacy, built and tended to over time. A complementary attraction magnetically aligned – found.
3 years of consistency, attention, respect, patience, guidance, care, knowing, curiosity, exploration, joy, pleasure, celebration, beauty, maturity, inspiration, growth, gratitude, communication, clarity, warmth, contentment, belonging, acceptance, support, connection, desire, satisfaction, longing, attraction, autonomy, admiration, bliss, adoration, learning, discovery, wonder…
and as time moves, the embodiment of my submission and extent of devotion, His nurturing and attentiveness, clarity, sincerity and gentle guidance, seems to only deepen and satiate more.
My submission has come to be emotional, spiritual and somewhat existential; it’s more of my art – the art of living in fullness.
couldn’t have it any other way
even when it hurts
i need it real
Innerbloom
Bloom, Girl
Bleed in colour
I want to rest
I want to read
I want to stare out the window
And I want to feel the ocean
When the pursuit of growth, achievement and courage are not intrinsically calibrated, where the rhetoric of failing systems holds out false promises, and do not align with health and balance.
It’s time to let go and trust in intuition.
To distinguish between the language of social expectations and what truly has your best interests at heart.
Let go. Stop fighting. It’s not worth it.
You’re gonna be okay, kid.
Just let it happen.
Even when the weight of responsibility bears down and taunts you with wicked words.
You’re gonna be okay, kid.
You are loved. You deserve peace.
Just let go.
Listen. Listen to the right ones.
He leads not with conventional commands and correction, not with authority and righteousness, but with grace, respect and dignity.
He simply inspires me.
Consistently meeting me where I am at, he gently whispers words of wisdom, words of attentiveness, and lights me up with careful crafting.
Secure in his creation and my devotion, his pleasure in my sensuality and desirability pervade.
He is holy, so I place him on a pedestal and kneel beneath, gazing in wonder, bemused that he exists, bemused by the beauty of creation, in awe of what I cannot conceive but am privileged to encounter.
Naturally, I am drawn to his magnetism, his quiet power, his knowing.
I can do nothing but follow with heart, with a deep yearning to be worthy of his attention, presence and pride.
He is the reminder that I am worthy, full of beauty and love to dote.
And with such a gift, such blessings, duty that is bound by soul - destined and archaic. Alchemy.
And I just hung out my washing…
Out of my control. Guess, I will just roll with it 💦🦦
