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Fetishist starts a new journey

Gay male 49, and been with my man for 26 years currently.
I have autism, am heavily into Gear (clothing) fetishes, BDSM, sex and orgasms.
My sex and gear addictions led me to cheat on my man many times over the years and I have had therapy which helped me straighten things out in my head.
My husband is now disabled and terminally ill, and has allowed me to indulge my needs and desires as long as I don’t cheat again.
I am converting our spare room into my own BDSM playroom which will be fully kitted out. I already have the gear, sling, chains, etc... so all I need is the playroom with a new ‘bed’ and my new sex toy.
I’m going to buy a life-size fully pose-able and functional male sex doll to explore my desires with.
2 hours ago. Jul 29, 2021, 7:33 PM

The shipment with my new toy is on it's way with UPS - much earlier than I thought it would be.

Estimated delivery is Monday 2nd August !

I've had to decide on the playroom bed/bench, so it will be a standard single mattress (90x190cm) on a wooden frame on big castors at an 'appropriate' height, yet to be decided.

The mattress will be delivered tomorrow and I'll build the frame this weekend in time for Monday's delivery.

The bed is also a bondage bench so it will have 'D' rings attached all around the edge so that I can practice with rope and chain.

I am also setting up a simple website to host photo galleries of my new 'slave' in its gear.


Next update this weekend........

1 week ago. Jul 22, 2021, 1:35 AM

I'm starting to build a collection of gear for Tom, my new 24/7/365 'slave/drone/fucktoy' - it should arrive in about 5 weeks time.

I have already ordered:

a lycra hood (blind - padding over the eyes) with open mouth in black

a leather hood with padded eyes and ears, open mouth and straps in black

a set of lockable padded leather cuffs (ankle & wrist) and collar in black with 'D' rings

a 2 litre silicone enema kit (to wash its cavities out)

and two small rope pulleys rated to 150Kg (with it's head removed, an eye bolt is screwed into the neck so it can hang from above.

It will be much easier to dress when it is suspended off the floor and vertical, then the head can go back on.

I have plenty items in my gear collection that will fit its size starting with a nice set of armoured bike leathers..........



1 week ago. Jul 17, 2021, 2:11 AM

Hello. everyone.  I hope you are well.

I haven't been on or updated anything for a while as i've been feeling a bit depressed recently over my current situation.

The good news is, I can now proceed with the bathroom and plumbing, shower and, at long last, the playroom floor.

Just getting quotes now for the work.


The other good news is.......I HAVE ORDERED MY LIFESIZE SEX DOLL ! 

It stands 5ft 9 inches high, a stainless steel skeleton and TPE skin with moveable joints, 8 inch oral and anal cavities and swappable penises (6 and 10 inch, hard and flacid) 

Delivery should be in about 5 weeks.

This is my fetish sex toy.  My biker, my gimp, my scally, my faggot, my jock, my pig, my pup, whatever I want it to be for me.

Fully geared up at all times, with lockable cuffs, blind hood, gag, cuffs, etc....

Next, I will need to get it some latex, lycra, leather, trackies, socks, boots, gloves, hoods, harnesses, cuffs.

I have a double wardrobe in the playroom specially for the slave's gear.

It can stand on it's own two feet if properly balanced, and can hang by a stud in the neck when the head is removed.

Suspending it will be easy now as I have an array of anchors on the playroom ceiling, so all I need is a small rope winch or three.


It will be interesting to see how it performs when tied in my sling a resonable 110lb (50Kg) weight, it should react inertially, like a real bound slave.

I was thinking of calling it 'Tom'.  Under the hood and gear, it could be any Tom, Dick or Harry that's bound and gagged.



3 months ago. Apr 28, 2021, 10:14 PM

Not much progress, but an update nonetheless.

I can't fit the playroom floor down (3mm rubber on top of 3mm marine plywood) until the plumbing has been done, as some of the floor has to come up to get pipes in for a new central heating system and the corner shower.

The bathroom next door to the playroom is also getting ripped out and replaced with a larger bath more suitable for my disabled husband (and wet play).

The heating installation and bathroom refit can't be started until I complete the sale of our old house which should be early June.


By autumn, I hope to have the corner shower installed and a sealed rubber floor put down in the playroom.

Once that is complete, I'll have to make a final decision on what I'm going to do for a bed.

4 months ago. Mar 23, 2021, 11:51 PM

I have ordered the rubber flooring for the playroom.  3mm thick black rubber, round 'penny' design (I thought it easier to mop up fluids from this design rather than the 'checkerplate' design).  It comes in 1.5m wide strips.

Measuring the floor area, ignoring the shower, the floor measures 272cm x 338cm.

Allowing for the rubber to run up the skirting boards too, I'll add 10cm all round, so that's 292cm x 358cm.

I have ordered two strips, 150cm wide by 400cm long, so fitted side-by-side, that gives up to 300cm x 400cm - perfect.

The floor is currently bare floorboards, so my plan is to screw sheets of 3mm waterproof plywood down over the boards to give a smooth surface and a layer of noise attenuation, then glue the rubber into place on the plywood.

The whole idea is to protect the lounge below from play involving body fluids, and make any clean-up easier.

I'll fit the rubber floor down first, all round the room into all the corners and up the skirtings, then the shower tray can sit on it in the corner and get plumbed in when the bathroom gets replaced soon.



4 months ago. Mar 13, 2021, 1:48 PM

My anchors are perfect.  I assembled my chains and 5-point sling last night in 6 different positions in the room. I even slept in it last night after lying in it looking at the chains hanging from the ceiling,

Today I fitted up a wooden pole and set of curtains.  Red velvet. Matches the room nicely.

Now to plan the shower tray and rubber flooring..........

4 months ago. Mar 11, 2021, 11:33 PM

I have now fitted up all the ceiling anchors for the room. 28 of them, spaced every 50cm along each beam, each rated to 80kg, and screwed in with 100mm screws through the beams and up into the ceiling joists. I took a photo. You can see the attic hatch, light fitting and smoke alarm along with the beams and all the eye plates.  Now the sling can go anywhere in the room.  Next job is the flooring and shower tray........

4 months ago. Mar 9, 2021, 10:42 PM

Well the beams are all in place now and a lot of the anchors are fitted up already.  I have places for 27 and 17 fitted so far.  They”re rated at 80kg and each have two 100mm screws through the beams and up into the joists in the ceiling above.  This same method was tried and tested in our main bedroom and the sling was fine there.

My next job is to place the shower tray on a short plinth to allow for the drain to slope. The bathroom is next door and it’s about to be ripped out and replaced, so my en-suite shower will be plumbed in at the same time as that gets done.

I had a though today and I’ll need a fridge.  If I need a drink or snack, I don’t want to have to traipse downstairs to the kitchen in whatever gear I’m in at the time, so I’ll buy a small fridge to keep some drinks and snacks in.

currently the floor is bare boards with no deafening between them and the ceiling below (our dining room) so every footstep can be heard in the lounge.

I’m going to floor the room with a black rubber matting that comes on a roll and is used in workshops and garages and use it like a wet floor surface, gluing it in place with black silicone sealant and bringing the edges up to the top of the skirting boards and securing with black silicone and a staple gun.  I’m not after a full wet room, but I need the floor to handle spillages of lube and body fluids.

I’ll get some photos in daylight and post an update in a few days.

4 months ago. Mar 8, 2021, 12:08 PM

I have finished the ceiling and walls painting now.  It's all a nice deep red colour.

I have cut the beams for the ceiling and stained them black.  Tonight's job is to get them screwed into place and start fitting the load-bearing eye plates.  Once that's done, I can hang my sling - I cant wait to sleep in it !

I have changed the 5-lamp brass chandelier that was in the room for a plain round LED lamp to give a better overall light.

I have decided to keep the current white wardrobes (to keep the peace with my man), but have moved them to a different side of the room, screwed then together and fixed them to the wall. This left just enough space in the corner for a shelving unit that was already there.

The rest of the other plain wall will get twin-slot shelving fitted.

When the ceiling is complete, I will get the shower tray fitted into the corner and arrange for the materials to seal the floor.

I'm planning to use the 3mm thick black rubber garage flooring and silicone it down to the floor and up the skirting boards around the edges.

Once I have tidied up I will post photos of the progress.


4 months ago. Mar 2, 2021, 10:18 AM

My new playroom is progressing albeit slowly.  I have started the first coat of maroon paint over the dark blue undercoat. Once the second coat is complete it should be a nice and even colour all through.

The ceiling is getting wooden beams (stained black) screwed up along the joists and will be fitted with anchor points (eye plates) every foot or so along each one to give me as many sling and suspension options as I want around the room.

I have also decided on which sex doll I want to get (start with.......) do a doll called Chase.  He's 5'3", fully articulated metal skeleton and TPE skin.  The anal and oral cavities are tight, ribbed and 8" deep.  He weighs in at 99lb (7st) so he is heavy but I wouldn't want a light doll, and he will probably spend most of his time in my sling anyway.

He is able to stand on his own, fully poseable and I will always have him fully dressed in gear that activates my fetish triggers, even during use.

I will get two penises with him.  A 7.5" hard and a 4" flaccid.

Cost is just under $2000.