Corrections and addendums

Just FYI kids.  Found two separate blogs this week that linked to other social media that listed the  user's real name.   Combined with the location info in the profiles, it took about 30 seconds to find their real name Facebook pages, some of which contained real names and locations of other Cage users.  

Share smart.  Stay safe.   

PS: I've emailed both users privately for the heads up, but if anyone else noticed, the real names and Facebook profiles of at least 3 subs on Cage have been compromised.   

For the internet ignorant, this wasn't hacking, meta data, IP logging or any advanced tricks.  These were publicly posted links by the users to their own other profiles with their real names in plain  text.   Y'all need to use more caution before you share or link.   

Facepalm activated. 

We now return to our regularly scheduled programming after some childish blog reporting.  Fully restored with no comment.  Nice try, tho. 

It's simple, really;

1. Never assume experience or authority mean that someone knows what they're doing.  Everyone makes mistakes, even those with years of experience. People drawn to power and authority often exaggerate experience or credentials. 

2. Ask questions.  Never be afraid to question anyone.  If anyone tells you asking questions is wrong, walk away.  This is unhealthy behavior. 

3. Pay attention to how criticisms are handled.  Deleting comments is a big red flag, as well as blocking and lecturing anyone who disagrees. 

4. Look for personal attacks in response to someone who challenges their ideas.  Some people can't debate and choose to attack the person instead.  Another red flag. 

5. Just my opinion is a deflection.  Everyone understands that blogs are opinions.  The moment you choose to publicly state yours in a public forum, that opinion is up for debate.  Simply saying something is your personal opinion doesn't make it unquestionable.  

6. Look for people that can and do engage with others and admit mistakes.  Avoid those that don't engage with critics or attack them consistently. 

7.  If you see something wrong, say something.  That's just your opinion too, and someone may disagree.  If they can avoid the pitfalls above, I promise you you'll both gain understanding and respect.   Predators thrive when they go unquestioned.  

Some additional reading from a good source (emphasis mine).   Don't get it twisted, kids.

https://www.kinkweekly.com/article-baadmaster/high-protocol-part-one/

I am often asked, “What exactly is high protocol?” A strict dictionary definition would be, “a code prescribing strict adherence to a pre-determined etiquette.” In the BDSM context, protocols are the rules of behavior for Masters/Mistresses and slaves. What we generally call “low protocol” is a relaxed, mostly informal relationship with few rules and prescribed patterns of behavior. Obviously, a “medium protocol” D/s relationship is one with more rules than a “low protocol” one; but these rules are far from all pervasive. Finally, “high protocol” is a relationship where many, if not most, activities are conducted ceremonially and tied to a detailed set of rules.

The most widespread myth about high protocol is that it is somehow higher on the BDSM food chain than lower protocol relationships. Many lifestylers who are attracted to high protocol mistakenly think that it is something to aspire to; they assume that it embodies what one should think of as a “true” Master/slave relationship. Although nothing could be further from the truth, there seems to be a tendency to romanticize high protocol. So, why do so many people talk about high-protocol unions as though they are something to aim for in D/s relationships?

Much of the appeal of BDSM is built upon images of slaves serving in what seems to be high-protocol settings. Kneeling provocatively at the Master’s feet at all times; always serving Mistress’s drink in a prescribed manor; performing the perfect greeting ritual every time the Master returns home are all images of “high protocol” that are sensual, transcendent and very appealing. The fact that very few of us have neither the time nor the energy – nor the need – to go to these lengths on a 24/7 basis does not diminish the lure of this idealization. Furthermore, these descriptions reinforce the “BDSM Urban Myth” that unless you are a high-protocol Master/Mistress or slave, you are somehow not a “real Master/Mistress or slave.” This misconception is quite widespread. And if I do nothing other than dispel this notion here, I have done my job.

In my experience, I have found that high protocol functions best when it is for a short period of time – for example, within a BDSM scene. Or, for just a weekend. However, in the context of a 24/7 relationship, I believe it works only for a select few Doms/Dommes and subs. Those rare successful high-protocol couples are those where both partners crave it. It cannot simply be imposed on the slave; that is far too taxing. The slave cannot simply demand it; that requires far too much topping from the bottom. High protocol must be wanted, needed and truly desired by both partners. This is especially true in our world of jobs, kids and a gazillion other demands on our time and attention.

To quickly recap. High protocol Master/slave relationships are not for everyone; they are, in fact, quite rare. And, in my opinion, they are not, in and of themselves, any higher on the BDSM food chain than any other style BDSM union; you don’t get BDSM “props” for being a high-protocol Dom or sub. High protocol is not a goal; you don’t progress from low to high protocol. It is not like going from junior to senior in high school; high protocol is simply another type of D/s relationship.

Just a quick correction on some recently blogged misinformation:

It's perfectly ok to approach and talk to strangers at a BDSM dungeon, even submissives.  NEVER touch or invade personal space, but questions are ALWAYS welcome.  No one will ever kick you out for asking a polite question.  EVER. 

Note: there are a small subset of individuals that practice high protocol BDSM.  Additional rules and protocol may apply in these or any private space.  

Most dungeons also feature additional helpful cues here.  Wristbands, balloons, marked areas, times, and special events* all exist to help with boundaries and controlling unwanted contact. 

*used to distinguish those who wish to be approached and/or play from those who don't.

My point is that your local dungeon is a very welcoming and accommodating place.  They'll have clearly posted rules, none of which will read "don't speak to other people".   You will not be kicked out, blacklisted or bothered.  High Protocol only clubs do exist but are the exception not the rule.  Besides, you're not getting into those without personal and local vetting, so don't worry about it.  

If anyone doubts any of this, please contact your local club or munch and reach out.   They're always happy to dispel bad internet myths.  If nothing else, it gives them a good laugh.