The old ways

When I started out learning who I was the Domme that was training me , had told me to research and find something that discribes what a Dom should be . So if to the library I want and was not easy as in those days no google ?. I eventually found a article that turned my life around and what I strive to achieve. 

Simple put , a good Dominant is someone who possesses the very qualities we would discribe to a "good man". KiNDNESS , CONSIDERATION, POLITENESS , EMPATHY, SYMPATHY .A good Dominant like a "good person" has a strong Ethics and honesty and is respectful of others regardless of their position in life .

To me that meant a lot and you just can't take what you want from a submissive but had to earn everything in the dynamic , you have to earn all this and does take time . The more I learnt about myself the easier it was to understand how a submissive feels , and that is what a submissive is looking for in a Dominant, my mentor also told me that I had to feel what it is like to have floggers , whips , canes , paddles , crops, and hand feels . The reasoning went over my head at the start but after she used them on me I realised that I now know what a submissive would go through but , because she did that to me I could read what the submissive acted if I did it to hard or not enough . And that I know when she had enough even us the submissive does not use the safe word. 

That was the biggest trust is you that both have to over come especially the submissive must feel that the Dominant really knows what he does and looks after her well being . Now days Doms don't seem to want to mentor new Dominants and that is ashame but another time . The other thing that makes a good Dom is learning you never stop learning and if you admit you don't need to learn anymore then you are just kidding yourself and being to cocky . 

I can go on but that will be part 2 this just my feeling and it won't be all Doms idea 

I was about 15 when I know I was not like other people and 17 when I was told that I was born to be a Dominant. And had a wonderful Domme who helped that's another blog . But the things she showed my and how to address a new submissive into the scene . When I started back in the Kate 60s it was all hidden a secret society where we wear jewellery for the ladies and certain items for the men . We actually talked and had to have trust and honesty built in the dynamics again another blog .

I have noticed now days and especially that stupid book came out lots of people started calling themselves Dominants , I have also noticed and talked with a lot iffm new submissives in the scene and all day the same things . It not only happens in the cage but other sites as well as soon as a lady or girl say the are very new they are jumped on and being told you will send naked pics or you will obey me and what I say . And the big one I own you now you can't leave me (that's a joke), in fact until the give the Dom Thier control and submission they can do whatever they like . 

But new sub don't know this and do as they are told and then not long into this do called one way dynamic they are broken and hurt some leave to never return and the rest are scarred and very non trusting with Doms . Makes it hard for Doms that have good intentions,. It new submissives have the right to ask questions at the start it's called vetting very important it helps build the trust up and also gives her a idea iff what the Dom is . It is something thst can not be rushed into as it is a big call to be in a dynamic.