Switch and insecure

Does anyone know of any bdsm in person events happening at all?

Hi my name is princess and I need some advice my fiance and I wanna go to a bdsm party he's been to a few this will be my first time but I'm insecure and scared he'll leave me for another sub he says he won't but I'm scared he will and my brain is making me think he'll leave me. Also I'm an amateur dominant I wanna become better is there any tips anyone can give me p.s. I'm a switch