I'm soft with her.
Always.
Don't get me wrong, she can handle quite a lot, and every day she grows more capable. But I've always given her and others space for error. Mistakes happen, and they must be handled with understanding and gentle firmness. Understanding what motivates a person, especially a submissive, simplifies that exchange. I know she would never intentionally cause me harm, discomfort or disappointment. In fact, far from. So when these things happen, they're never met with aggressive, disapproving emotion. I never take it personally. Control must ALWAYS be maintained in these situations. I would say that the truest mark of someone who is naturally dominant is their ability to maintain their mental and emotional state. How can you be a source of security if you prove yourself, even once, to be a danger? How can you be a strong oak in the storm if you break under the pressure? How can you be trusted if you break that trust even once?
I understand that everything in life is a grey area. There are exceptions to every rule. No two things are every truly the same, and therefore must be handled as such, with an open mind and with a desire to understand.
But I draw the line at myself. And it's a very hard line.
For myself, I expect nothing less than perfection. Be at the gym four days a week. Wake up early. Keep all emotions regulated and well under control. Eat properly. Educate yourself. Have hobbies you're proud of. Strive for more. Achieve what you want. Be approachable. Handle all problems given to you, regardless of how heavy they may stack up on top of what you're already dealing with. Always listen. Always think first. Never react rashly. Be kind but firm in enforcing boundaries and expectations. Lead, not because you desire to hold power, but because someone else might get it wrong. It's your duty. It's your honor. You're depended on. The mental, physical and emotional well-being of those who are dear to you may truly rely on your ability to never waiver or falter. You are their constant port in their storm. Don't break. Don't crack. Don't trip. Don't look back. Don't doubt. Don't be afraid. Don't let them down.
It sounds like a lot, once read out loud. But honestly, even the sight of all these self-imposed expectations makes me so... content. I get to be strong for them, and it's never been a burden. I'm grateful that I'm able to do it.
I would never impose such expectations on another, let alone a submissive I've taken into my care. Or even an aspiring dominate, to be quite frank. Like I said, we all make mistakes. But I won't tolerate them in myself. If you want the best in the life, you have to be the best. And I'm inspired by the presence of those around me to be better. To be more. They deserve a safe harbor. They deserve love, protection, and understanding. They deserve to be heard. They deserve to be understood. Any despair I may feel over the harshness of my self-treatment is immediately forgotten the second she wipes away her last tear and says "Thanks for being you".
I'll never stop fighting. I'll never stop growing. I'll never stop helping. I'll never stop loving.
