I've been selfish lately.
There was a time where I used to engage in the communities that helped grow, shape, form and refine the man that I am. I used to write multi-page essays to help men (and women, but to a lesser extent) get what they wanted out of this life. Be it more sex, more money, more power/freedom (they're the same thing), etc.
I prided myself on the passing of knowledge to those who needed it. It was a great honor, and it fortified my soul deeply. There is no greater force in this world than benevolent compassion via anonymity. Helping for the sake of helping, with absolutely no "payment" other than knowing that somewhere out there, someone is living a better life because you typed out a few words and put your thoughts to paper. It made me feel good. Real good. I never shared what I was doing with anyone in my real life. Chances are, they may not understand. But more importantly, I felt like telling them was a betrayal to the nature of helping. I didn't want recognition, and I still don't.
But I still want to help.
So that leads me to this reason for this blog. A simple, straight-forward lesson based off of years of experience, many a lovely lady enjoyed, and many a lesson hard-learned. I've chosen this topic because of a conversation I just had on another website that I contribute to.
The essence of the issue was his questioning on what makes a man Alpha, Dominant and a Leader. His line of thinking was "What are the things I have to say to make her submit to me? I try to tell her what to do but she always gets bratty. What do you say to get your girls to listen?"
Oof...
Buddy, if I'm doing my job correctly, I shouldn't have to say a damn thing. My eye contact is enough. Submission is ONLY earned. But that's a mean thing to say, so I responded...
"What I need you to understand is there absolutely is NOT a simple "SAY X, Y AND Z AND SHE'LL SIMP FOR THAT DICK" to being dominant. If there was, we'd have discovered it a long time ago, and it would have been abused beyond belief by now. Think of it like this. Have you ever met a true and proper Alpha Male? I assume most people have met at least one. Did he walk into the room and yell "Hey guys, I'm the Alpha here so act accordingly!". Of course not, and doing so would immediately put him at the bottom of the totem poll. But his presence is sensed regardless. Why? How? It certainly wasn't from anything he said. But everyone in the room could tell. The men came up and tried to see if they could be his friend. The girls all came up and started asking him about himself, laughing or smiling at literally everything he said.
Why? How could they tell what he was? Easy. It's his energy. His presence. The air around him. The air tastes different when an Alpha Male walks into the room. You look at him, he looks at you, and you immediately know what he is, and perhaps even what you are to him. But telling you to just have "dominate energy" isn't going to teach you anything. So I'll try my best to put it into more tangible terms for you."
I then proceeded to send him a long, wordy message of how to be more dominant, citing examples from my own life and the referenced experiences of others. Because I wish to keep this forum and my other forum separate, I'll paraphrase from this point on.
First and foremost, the overwhelming majority of women "feel" more than they "think" about social interactions. Especially with men. Men are the opposite. The problem is most men "think" there's a logical answer to their interactions, and there isn't. They think there's a simple formula they can follow to obtain their desires. What you need to do is step outside of the tangible and into the abstract. First and foremost, what makes a man dominant? I would say it's an unspoken expression of his "Power".
Hear this now. POWER is the degree of control a person has over their own life. Nothing more, nothing less. Money isn't power. I could beat a billionaire to death with my bare hands without breaking a sweat in under 10 seconds. Physical prowess isn't power. I don't care how muscular you are, 6 bullets to the chest will level that playing field right out. Fame isn't power, the court of public opinion can take that from you in a second.
I HATE referencing popular culture, but this is a true as true gets. Uncle Ben had it right,
With Great Power, Comes Great Responsibility
You have a woman, literally, in the palm of your hands. Her well-being depends on you. She might be basing her entire existence off of what you say and how you respond. You need to take that as absolutely fucking serious as anything could every possibly be taken. "Ownership" is NO JOKE. This is not some passing fantasy of having a girl become obsessed with you. If that's how you feel, then get the fuck out now. I have nothing nice to say about fake doms. You're just manipulative, not a diamond-in-the-rough.
What makes a man dominant is how much control he displays over his own life and his own actions. Does he do what he wants? When he wants? Where he wants? Does he work a job he chose and enjoys? Does he surround himself only with people he's vetted and deemed worthy of his time and attention? Does he shape the world around him, rather than letting it shape him? Does he speak his mind, regardless of whether it makes him fresh enemies?
If you want that kind of freedom, then it's simple. Here's 3 basic principles.
1. Go the the Gym
- Taking care of your body shows a commitment to being "better". You can't steal a good physique. You can't buy it, trade for it, find it or wish it. You can ONLY earn it. And everyone knows that when they see it. A healthy body is one of the most tangible "I think I'm worth it" displays a person can present.
2. Learn to Say No
- You know what I NEVER do? Let people step beyond my boundaries. Ever. If you don't respect your own limits, nobody will respect you. Plain and simple. Are you a doormat? Or are you a wall. Let them be upset. Say no.
3. Never Stop Growing
- Rookie mistake of the year, and so many men make it. Once they get in a decent bit of shape, start standing up for what they want more often and begin learning to master the world around them, they suddenly start getting the attention of women who want to be with them and men who want to be like them. Then they stop improving, because they're getting what they wanted. What you need to understand is that they liked you not because of the level that you were at. but because YOU WERE ON A PATH UP and they wanted to come along. Then you just suddenly come to a grinding halt? Not a chance. It just shows you were only improving to get THEIR validation. Not your own. Never stop improving. Never stop growing.
There. Some basic advice. Looking to earn a woman's submission? Be a Master of YOU. Not of her.