im here
im waiting
humble and needy
true and deep
im here
im waiting
humble and needy
true and deep
I’ve been thinking about mindfulness
it’s easy, for a submissive when she has a Dominant influence in her life, each thought and action is for him, so treated with reverence.
each stroke of the hairbrush through her hair
each foot she pampers with creams and paint
each bit time she sets aside to learn something, to grow, to journal
each of these things are approached with such mindfulness, nothing is rushed, nothing is forgotten, nothing is done absentmindedly, it is all done with Him in mind.
it’s easy to loose that mindful state when she doesn’t have a Dominant influence.
easy to not prioritise journalling
easy to forget to read that book, the one sitting on the coffee table
easy to neglect to smooth cream into supple skin
just thinking, that’s all
Today I’ve been reminded that there is community here
i just need to be brave enough to reach out toward it
thank you
pea
I changed my profile and my ‘collar’ today
im proud of myself
I’ve been quietly starting to make some self improvements
but sometimes, although scary as fook, it’s better to shout one’s intentions from the rooftops
im already missing fluffy poppets daily wisdoms and beautiful drawings
she inspires me to be a better and a stronger submissive
I’ve gained weight, in recent months, I’ve prioritised work over myself
so I’m setting my intentions here, to focus on my own well-being, for myself and my future possible Dominant
to loose weight, to bring yoga back to a daily routine for myself, a space and a time to focus on myself, to call my own
Im not looking for comment, im just making a commitment for myself
pea
You made me ashamed of my own voice
im not sure, but i believe that if you knew, if you really knew how much it cost me, to speak here, in public, for all the world to see and feel and judge
that if you knew how much it cost me
that if you knew how long your voice would silence me
that you would have chosen your words with more care
it takes bravery
it takes courage
To speak here
imagine then, the bravery and courage it takes for someone who isn’t sure of their own voice,
it took me months
but I spoke again
I didn’t think i needed much
need
theres a difference between want and need
i needed honesty
that’s all i ever needed
i didn’t think that was too much
Make me a match……
there is something to be said, I feel, for that.
something we are missing as a community
a matchmaker
to help us find our missing part
……….
I’m feeling too broken
too broken to break
too wounded to open myself up
too broken and wounded to open myself to a Dynamic
too broken and wounded to be broken open again
to broken and wounded, what if I’m broken open again and found wanting?
what if I’m broken open again, and my heart, my full beating heart, is broken?
I miss
i
miss
i miss being his
i miss knowing I belong to him
i miss being safe and secure, knowing
knowing I am safe in his charge
knowing I can curl into him
i can be the small spoon to his large
he can be the large spoon to my small
being safe
in him
as he is cherished
in me
Sometimes, I’m just all thought out
i miss having a Master
i miss that wonderful calmness that comes over me, when I know I don’t have to think
Well, perhaps I mean overthink,
yes, I do
when I don’t have all these streams of thought, should I, would I, maybe, could I,
Because my thoughts are centred completely on Him
And He will make the decisions
and I will be content