I am finding, that it is easier to do LDD when the time zones line up better. The five hour shift is very very difficult.
for those of you maintaining a US/UK or even a east coast/ west coast. Any things that really work?
I’m not a fan
I have an affinity for sun dresses. A few of my favorite memories begin with a sundress. But the way some of them leave the shoulders and neck bare. Such delicious vulnerability. They usually highlight the breasts, Lots of them flare over the hips only hinting at the fullness beneath it .
As she packs today, I do the facetime thing, because trying clothes on is very triggering for her. but as she is trying on the dresses I die a little bit ;)
I am hoping then autumn stays warm.
For me drop starts the moment I turn the key in the ignition to start towards home. It’s that ache that you have to breathe through. A flare of anxiety, but it isn’t just the anxiety, it’s the feeling that this isn’t fair. Then there is a feel of helplessness because this is how it has to be, for now anyway.
You start the drive and your mind wanders. If luck is with you, there’s a podcast or audiobook you can catch up on and it can keep you from being in your head. This stretch is the first bit of the drop process. Somewhere around the state line the phone rings and a perky little umber voice says.. “Are you alive?” I usually tell her no. This silly interaction is familiar and comforting. It brings me back to myself. She’ll tell me she misses me already and I’ll be incredulous, “Woman, I just left.” The rest of the drive will go without more emotional overthinking.
The next day, I know to run or work out. Drop is a real and brain chemistry plays a huge role in it. But there is more to it. In 6 days Umber leaves the country and two after that I do as well. But, we aren’t going to the same place. She will return and we will spend three months apart. Even when it’s for all the right reasons, it still sucks.
I am writing this in reply to the wonderful free verse by Verity’s Queen
https://thecage.co/blog/userblog.php?blog_id=103116&postid=102792
This piece was written with inspiration taken only from her free verse and without disrespect towards her, or the Dom that has her under consideration.
what I see
When she is there, revealed in my bed, her softness, her hardened nipples. Ah and the smell of her skin- cinnamon and vanilla.. God yes, I see her tremble when my fingertips lightly trace her skin.. the shiver, goosebumps..as I approach her.. the catch of her breath when my fingers sweep over her warmth, a light coating of her anticipation across the tips of them
And I see.., her
only.., her- this woman… this heavenly creature before me. Strong as iron, fragile as porcelain
this time, yes I know..more than just a scene
Not one of too many one night connections
erotica.. yes but more ..much deeper than sex
To gaze upon her
Devour her
claim her deeply
completely.
Then
transformed
more than the living toy, the doll, the flesh light..
slave? Whore? withering, whimpering submissive slut? More still
She becomes pet, angel, demon, brat- the canvas and treasure and more still
so much more that her womanhood more than someone to fuck
i see HER
and deeply she sees me
she submits, surrenders her will to mine because she deemed me worthy
Though she is worth of the world at her feet
I have seen her- truly
and she is… mine
I need my fellow cagers to settle an argument: does oral sex count towards your “Body count”. I’m just looking for opinions to help settle the debate.
Thanks
Aiden
30 sexy questions
1: When did you lose your virginity?
12 (it was a different time)
2: Rough sex or soft sex?
Mood driven entirely
3: Do you have any unusual kinks/fetishes?
I don't consider anything I do unusual.
4: Weirdest place you’ve had sex?
a rather open box seating at the opera house
5: Favorite sex position?
Depends on a lot of things- an example: what furniture is available.
6: Do you like to be dominant or Submissive
Dominant
7: Have you ever had one-night stands?
yes
8: Sex on the bed, couch or the floor?
All of the above
9: Have you ever had sex in a public place?
Yes
10: Have you ever been caught masturbating?
No, but I have let partners watch
11: What does your favourite underwear look like?
On her - white and blue lace and satin
mine are fairly boring dark blue boxer briefs.
12: How often do you have sex?
every chance I get - a lot depends on logistics now
13: Is there anybody right now you’d like to have sex with?
Yes, but we aren't naming names
14: Do you prefer giving or receiving oral sex?
Again, this depends on the mood, but I don't shy away from devouring her
15: Most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you during sex?
Having sex with the wrong twin when the right one came into the bedroom. However, it worked out to my advantage.
16: A song you’d listen to during hard/rough/kinky sex?
not sure that would even occur to me
17: A song you’d listen to during soft/slow sex?
I have a playlist
18: Are you into dressing up for sex?
I am reading this as costuming so no. However, not above ren faire wench boarding
19: Would you prefer sex in the bath or sex in the shower?
Bath - height issues in the shower
20: If you could have sex with any celebrity right now, who would it be?
no thanks
21: Have you ever had a threesome?
Yes
22: Do you/would you use sex toys?
Definitely
23: Have you ever sent someone a dirty text/picture?
Yes I have been a menace but this is never random.
24: Would you have sex with your best friend?
I do every chance I get
25: Is there anything you do after sex?
make her scrambled eggs ;)
26: Something that will never fail to get you horny?
there's this look
27: Early morning sex or late night sex?
No wrong time
28: Favorite body part on the opposite sex?
not a part so much but the curve from below the swell of her breast down her side and following her hip
29: Favorite body part on the same sex
don't have one
30: Do you watch porn?
yes - because she laughs and tells me how unrealistic it is which leads to open critique and discussion of what would be more realistic.
As a Dom, you prefer to be in control. Granted, sometimes it’s the illusion of control, but you like to be where you are in charge. When you are in control you can decide how things are going to run, put things in straight lines and create a structure for you sub. However, all the control in the world cannot protect them from life. In short, there are things beyond the control of the “big bad Dom” (Umber’s phrase for me when I let my Dom override my humanness)
In her own right, Umber can run her life. She doesn’t need me absolutely. Hell, at times, I hear her pouty “you ain’t the boss of me”. It’s her illusion and it’s cute. However, she is a very capable woman and can survive very well without me. With me though, she thrives. With me she has a little more focus, a little more strength and the safety that I can provide. All that doesn’t keep life from happening though. Lately, life has happened- a lot.
One of Umber’s most endearing traits is her ability and willingness to help people. Away from the eyes of others, I have seen her cry for others pain. (You know the animal charity commercial with that Sarah McLaughlin song- yea that gets turned off) I've watched her put her world on pause to be there for others. For people she cares about, she will run herself out of spoons and then proceed to use the whole silverware drawer. However, that comes at a cost. It’s an amazing thing to behold but maddening as well.
When she runs headlong into peril or dashes to white knight the hell out of someone else’s problem- it costs her. When she can’t really fix it, it kills her. When she can’t affect a positive on the situation, it devastates her. When enough of the world weighs on her, she struggles. Then, their problems become my problems.
I don’t like problems- I live for straight lines and a world with less complex solutions. The key word is: solutions. Like her, unsolvable and unfixable problems become frustrating to me. I will do what I can, but I will let go of what I can't fix. My profession has provided me lots of no-win situations. You do what you can but at the end of the day, even the big bad Dom has to admit-there’s nothing else I can do.
While I have learned to hate the no-win scenario, she won’t accept it. She ends up struggling. She comes apart and exhausts herself. Can I stop her from this? No, not really. A Dom with a headstrong creature like Umber only has so many No’s in their arsenal. After that, I am changing the person that I love. I refuse to say, I love you, you’re perfect- now change. I would not restrain her heart for all that the world holds.
Right now, she’s struggling. She’s far from me, having gone- initially- to have a good time with her bestie. That shifted to getting things together to help that friend move. More chaos has ensued. In a line for an event, she takes a call from one half of a couple she’s expending serious energy on- I have opinions but again it’s her heart that’s leading us. Things have gone very wrong with that situation, in fact wrong enough that I’m practically triaging a person over the phone from the pool.
Umber does as much as she can, takes a breath, drinks a monster and returns to her waiting in line. Her anxiety is ratcheting up. In that same line- her best friend takes a call that her parent has died. In that same line, funeral discussions, lack of insurance and finances- the long and short in the length of wait for an event (lets say 30 minutes) two difficult and emotionally draining situations. Add in a little family drama- a bit of illness and Umber’s desire to inflict injury on her best friend's ex-boyfriend who had joined them in the line… and..,, and… and... So, before noon, she is struggling.
The Dom in me wants to protect her, to help her, to keep her structure and keep her safe. Before the day began, we went through the whole hydrate, medicate and nourish routine. Neither of us sleeps well without co-sleeping or actually being able to share our bed. So, she’s running on a lot less sleep. She’s struggling already - then add in the tragedy that played out the waiting queue… She’s checking in and I know that check in is what’s keeping her centered. I tease her about hydration, she’s drank two bottles of water. She’s had an incredibly healthy lunch- in a location where bad food choices are prevalent.
I am here and she knows I am. I will let her handle things (most the time) I will catch her before she falls. I will watch over her. Eventually, she will stop and seek comfort and rest. I am here and she knows I am, I will let her tackle the world and be the strength that she needs when she runs out of steam.
That’s hard isn’t it.
Through my fault or I’m sorry.
think of all the ways you can say it…
hey I fucked up
i apologise
im sorry
forgive me
I regret
I take full responsibility
I own this
It’s my fault
i am so remorseful
have mercy on an idiot’s soul… if he had one
“I know what you want. I know what you need, better than you do…” From Beauty Has Her Way - Mummy Calls
I was reading a blog and it made reference to Doms using that phrase, "I know what you need”. And I had a few random thoughts. On the surface that does sound pompous. Assuming that somehow you have a better knowledge of a person’s needs than they do does seem conceited. When a Dom that you don’t know, on the internet says that to you, that is a red flag. However, hear me out here, sometimes you do know what someone needs better than they do.
Ok before you brand me insta-dom, let me give you a couple of examples. Umber is a brilliant, creative, passionate individual but often she struggles with focus. When she is able to focus, all that becomes a laser and we joke that the cosmos “nerfed” her to keep her from conquering it all. When that focus comes, you let her harness it. Interrupting that hyperfocus results in her shutting down completely and reacting with rage chipmunk vibes. However, while hours are passing, I do know what she needs better than she does. Her cirkul will appear filled on her desk. The magical bento box suddenly fills itself and finds its way within her reach. Her meds appear on her keyboard, I have seen her look at them pause, take them and return to her focus. Minimally, intrusive actions can happen, which can include adding a few random reminders to her calendar, like stretch, go to the bathroom.. She very clearly knows what she wants- uninterrupted progress during a hyper focus, but I know what she needs.
Now let’s spin this with kink. Ever seen a sub in subspace? Will they safeword? Well, probably not. It’s a remarkable thing to watch them float back down. I am not convinced red is a colour at that moment either. They need a safe place to land as they return to us mere mortals. (The serene countenance is what makes me equate some sexual encounters with a religious experience. ) They need safety, but may not understand anything but that quiet minded euphoria. A dom worth his salt, knows what they need, better than they do. Part of what, in my opinion, makes a good dom is an awareness of what their sub needs.
So, could it also be that when delivered in person, the phrase ‘I know what you need’ can be a conversation starter. This is of course if you can read the situation. ( before you think that’s a pickup line- I admit it could be.) However, there are always women like my little queen that will say “oh nice line!” Or “Does that usually work?” Or my favorite, “great then you will be leaving me alone?” But, I think what the blog writer was expressing frustration with was the pompous ick. If you believe it and she doesn’t (or if she’s not at least willing to suspend disbelief) this is a very bad idea. Your confidence looks like conceit and whatever charm you have is worthless. This is not something you say without an inkling of someone’s intent or interest. Without a read, ie randomly on the internet, this will probably go very badly. She has every right to tell you off, or in Umbers case, verbally eviscerate the offending party.
All of that said, I do say I know what you need. Hell, I have left a little trail of post it notes using the above quoted lyrics. Will I stop telling the little queen that I know what she needs? Not as long as she looks amused and asks, “ Oh and what is that?” That’s years of her being willing to listen to my corny lines. However, would I message a complete stranger that? No..