The Naked Word

In general I'm not much of a big spender. I don't go out a lot, I'm not into designer handbags or fancy jewelry and, I'm a sale shopper when I do. There is however one area in which I overspend. Kinky things. And you know I'm not sure overspend is the right word. It's a lot of "Get what you pay for." type of stuff and I want quality and longevity in everything from my panties to my paddles. It isn't that I ever spend money I don't have, it's that I'm more willing to allow myself to splurge on good BDSM gear than pretty much anything else. (Not that that's news in the kink community. I find it to be a pretty common mentality.)

Well....shoes... but Sir likes me in nice heels so it counts.

The funny thing about this is it means if I ever won the lottery I'm pretty sure kink people would be the only ones to find out, because after the responsible taxes, boost the rent account, savings, stuff there would be SO. MUCH. NEW. GEAR. I am talking fetish wear for days people, because on a regular day I can't justify dropping hundreds on some custom latex corsetry (especially when there's already shibari rope and wax play candles in the mail), but hot damn do I wish I could.  

I'm also a gift giver by nature, so kinky friends would mention something they were thinking of buying and I'd go full HO HO HO say hello to slutty santa claus Merry kinkmas to all! Have a flogger! (Hmmm what do you think is that good or should I plan on the Oprah approach? You get a ball gag! And YOU get a ball gag! Ball gags for EVERYONE!) I mean I think it'd be a better option than those people who come into money and immediately buy a house that's eight times more expensive to maintain and end up broke in a year. 

Really this is all just a result of me being stuck at home and spending way to much time adding to my wish list of kinky fuckery. In truth, I do prefer to build up the collection slowly over time, but sometimes it's just nice to dream.

Hey look I'm back a second day! Partially because Sir has reminded me after blogging today himself about erotic poetry and me sitting in his chair (Which it's totally not by the way :-p) and partially because I actually have a topic.

Does anybody remember this show? 

Lady in black leather fights evil at night? Came out in 1999, single season, weird but fun, and I'm a huge nerd over it (I found it on amazon and squeed so loud I gave Sir a small heart attack, seriously I'm a DORK ), but anyway I was going somewhere with this. I came across the show again recently and it made me think about a lot of my favorite characters from things I watched as a kid. Cybersix, Black canary, Catwoman, Captain Amelia, Buffy, Elisa Maza, anyone sensing the theme here? I had plenty of favorite male characters  as well, but if there was a badass woman in any amount of leather I was hooked. 

Now that I'm an adult and looking back with some perspective it makes me think that discovering I was Bi and kinky should've been less of an "Aha!" moment and more of "Well duh" Basically my life is that "If you liked these characters you're Bi now." meme, but my brain photoshopped handcuffs and a paddle into the picture. 

Now on a completely unrelated note where does one purchase a leather catsuit?

Sheesh I'm awful at maintaining a blog. What's worse is I often think "Now there's a kinky or random subject I'd like to blabber into the void about." which is totally a thing I could be DOING if I didn't space out having blog for months at a time. Maybe being in quarantine will force me to get better about it. Let's all see if I return tomorrow with something substantial to talk about.

Hey! I moved! And got married! And got new toys! And it's awesome! Sooooooo that covers the last few months in which I've been neglecting my presence here. Now on to new business. Sir and I have been thinking and discussing adding another person or persons to our play. Most likely in an online capacity for now (considering there's like five other kinky people in this city it seems like and what would be the odds?) but we're not opposed to in person as we get to know them. I'm excited about the idea, if a little unsure of where to start. This whole spiel into the void will probably become a forum post eventually, but for the moment I figured I'd just blog it, and if anyone would like to offer any advice here I'd be more than happy to hear it. In the approaching week hopefully I'll having something to go on about in a more eloquent manner.

Have I ever mentioned that long distance sucks? Because it sucks. It's less than a year that we have to do this now, not too much time all things considered, but fuck is it driving me crazy in the here and now. He spoiled me is the problem. Gave me everything a good (or sometimes bad ;p) kitten could ever need or desire and now the ghost of his hand on my neck drives me mad. Am I complaining? Certainly not.  Am I counting the days and sighing wistfully in the direction of a flogger.... only a little. 

Unwanted dick pics: The sarcastic little shits guide to responding.

Copy picture into a new message.

Give a detailed review of the entire penis: Length, width, shape, localized hair grooming, overall appearance, how it might look in a swimsuit, score in an imaginary juggling event, twenty-second answer to an overly complicated political question, etc.

Thank the sender for submitting his penis for review. His final score will be tallied at the end of the competition.

 Send reply message.

If I receive an unwanted penis picture anywhere I assume they must want to know what I think of it, so there you go.

Skirts are awesome. The tight slinky kind that hugs the ass. The short, flared kind that swishes a little when walking. The long elegant ones that just brush the floor, and the ones that make a wide sweeping circle when spinning. I love all of these skirts. I especially love discretely handing Sir my panties when I’m wearing one of them. ;-)

I do however hate ONE kind of skirt.

Red. Plaid. Uniform skirts.

I went to a private school. In this private school, we wore uniforms. Uniforms with red plaid skirts. Now, I can’t deny that I had a pretty good education, but overall the experience wasn’t exactly fun. Kinda left me with some issues, but I’m not here to talk about the damage my school peers did to my young emotional state. I’m here to talk about skirts. If you have ever gone shopping for a uniform you know it is agonizingly boring, and the entire process is uncomfortable. On top of that, if that skirt gets a damn centimeter too short BOOM! Demerit. Because you know, you have to punish children for growing and girls for showing an extra sliver of knee.

*beleaguered sigh*

So yeah maybe the skirt itself isn’t the problem, but I can’t help it. Every time I see one I just think BURN! BURN FOUL DEVIL CLOTHING!

I don’t know maybe one day I’ll get over it. Cover one with black belts and hope the punk rock kills the negative connotation. Please do not let my thing in any way impede your enjoyment of this skirt. I’m going to go put on a white floral one just to feel pretty.

Next week on: What random ass thing can I relate back to an emotional issue!? Country music!

(I am extremely kidding)

He slips a vibrator inside me. “Don’t drop it, kitten.”

He traces an ice cube around my nipple “Don’t make a sound, kitten"

He puts the paddle handle in my mouth “Hold this for me, Kitten.”

He slides my panties down to my ankles “Don’t lose them, Kitten.”

So many wonderful little games we play. Sometimes I’m a very good girl and I play by the rules very well, but sometimes….well let’s just say I’ve never had so much fun losing.

I am so happy to finally have these framed and up! I've had the vintage prints for quite awhile. The black frames are from an antique store and the others were a Christmas gift from Sir. *adoring sigh* He spoils me.

The stupid title of the post is kind of meant to be a Beauty and the Beast reference. I couldn't resist. 

Today I find myself thinking about vibrators. I think it can be generally agreed upon that they're great things and they've come a long way.

My first vibrator was one of those little black ones that's supposed to go inside a back pillow. A battery eating little device that I awkwardly dubbed, the circle, despite the fact it was an oval. Now, this was a time when my sheltered, private school, "what is this in-ter-net you speak of?", butt didn't really understand ANYTHING about sexuality. It was a miracle I had even a vague concept of the orgasm. 

Years passed and sheltered little me had ventured out! Out! Into the vast unpredictable world of normal social interaction and social media. Between access to the online realm and friends much more knowledgeable than I was I picked up a few things. I may have been a socially anxious nerd, but I was a good listener.

My second vibrator was purchased online. A blue thing that crapped out at around week two. Let's just say it's one of many reasons I don't do much shopping at...certain places *Cough* Adam&Eve *Cough* However, that unfortunate purchase did come with a free gift in the form of a small purple vibrator. Served me quite well Ol' twisty did. ...That was a little weird huh?

Anyway! Now I purchase vibrators, as well as most of my toys, from a nice local shop. And oh how far we have come. Vibrators are now multi-setting, waterproof, rechargeable(best.thing.ever.), remote controllable, every color in the rainbow, and in more shapes and sizes than ever before. What a time to be alive. 

Perhaps an odd topic, but it's been on my mind.  Sometimes tracking the improving quality of sex products is a lot like tracking the improving quality of my own sexual journey.