Message here briefly for a couple of days
Asks to go to another site to chat - no
Then asks to swap kinky photos - no
When the request is denied you get blocked
Don’tcha just love it?
Thank goodness my bar for what is acceptable communication and behavior is set pretty high.
I need someone to help me quiet my raging mind. To help take me to a peaceful place. To stop the thoughts that are swirling on an endless loop. To help me center myself. To let me lay my head in their lap while they stroke my hair and tell me I’m a good girl and remind me to breathe.
To the 21 yrar old that just messaged me and told me that he would ”still let me eat his ass” as his introductory message.
Oh you poor delusional young thing……..do better please.
I do know there are people here who would take him up on that and respond to his message and you do you boo.
However I am not that person and you would be honored to have me. If you want a quality woman or sub that is not the way to go about it.
I hope these young, self-proclaimed “doms” do their research before they do something dangerous. And yes I intentionally put Dom in lower case and parentheses. As to differentiate them from the men who have actually done the work to earn the title.
Anyway, have a good morning everyone.
It’s Friday February 14th - otherwise known as Valentine’s Day. And while I know that it shouldn’t be a day to just celebrate couples, it’s hard not to feel sad. I know my family loves me. And a few very close friends. But I feel like I’m missing something in my life that only a partner can provide. I have a loneliness deep inside that aches to feel that I am loved by one special person.
Yes I’m wallowing in self pity right now. And if anyone asked me I’d pretend to be happy and smile. I know the feeling will pass. But days like today are hard and I feel like I could disappear and nobody would notice or care.
A confused submissive came before a wise Master who adored her. She felt that to submit to Him would mean she would open her heart to unbearable pain should He ever leave her. She hungered for Him and needed Him, but was ready to walk away in panic.
The gentle Master knelt her before Him and started a tale of love and devotion. As she looked up at Him His arms began to widen and open like a large tree, which stretches its branches to the sky.
At that moment the Master appeared rooted to the floor and His impressive size towered above her like a giant tree. Then He began to speak...
"I'm here for you"... now and always no matter how far time and space takes us. Whether you walk away from Me today or you stay and serve Me I will not turn from you. I am as patient as time itself; I will take not from you unless you give freely and completely of yourself, but I give onto you regardless-- for My love is unconditional...
Like the olive tree that can both feed you and shade you, I am there seemingly eternal to your short life on this earth. If you need My fruit to feed your hunger I will give you all the fruit you need. If your skin grows dry and loses its luster, the oil from My fruit will restore it and make it glisten. When you need comfort My leaves will gently caress your face with the slightest breeze.
When you need discipline My branches will correct you when the wind blows strong. If you just need My shade to protect you from the sun, My branches will shade and protect you. If you need warmth at night My fallen branches will fuel the fire to keep you warm and safe. If you need a refreshing breeze My leaves will fan you and cool you.
You are My gardener. When you submit to Me, you tend that which keeps Me vibrant and full of life. When you kneel under Me and till the soil, you give breath to My roots. When you water Me, My sap flows strong through Me raising My limping branches. When you soil yourself collecting fertilizer with your bare hands, you strengthen and humble Me with your devotion.
Although My life will go on, Life would not be the same without you. Your dedication and unconditional care for Me keeps Me vibrant and nurtures My very core. The sustenance and protection I give you seems little reward for your servitude. Still the gardener serves the tree from her heart and the tree in return gives to her heart all that He can!
I am planted firmly on the ground and cannot follow you if you walk away from Me....
But be assured I will survive. One hundred years later and two of your lifetimes; I will still be there, waiting for "you" in the same spot to offer you all that I do now.
Stay with Me and be My gardener. You cannot get lost in Me for we are complementary to each other. I am your devotion, and you give meaning to My existence. Apart we live life and survive; together we bloom eternally!
As the Master finished His last words the sub cried herself to sleep at His feet. That night, He stood planted there like the Olive tree offering her His unconditional love and protection as she slept. As she would tend to Him with her devotion the next day... and everyday thereafter!
-Author Unknown
This is my wish, my desire, my dream, my hope. To find this would give me the greatest pleasure, peace, strength and comfort.
I didn’t realize what I was missing until I had it and lost it
I miss the interactions
The daily check in
The tasks
Having a sounding board
Knowing someone cared
The comfort
The security
The feeling of being owned and protected
And yes the kinky sex stuff.
I learned so much about myself with the experience. And I made a promise to myself that I will do better if I ever find that again.
Something is missing
I had it for a short time
It’s gone and I realize there is a hole where it used to be
I want it again
I need it
I crave it
I feel lost without it
And yes, I’ve talked with my therapist about a lot of this, but that doesn’t mean it’s still not swirling around in my brain. Thank you if you made it all the way through this rambling post, I know that I need to figure these things out for myself,
My experience only……
I have a trigger that has developed over the years and had served as a protective warning for me in the past. Well recently it popped up in response to something a long distance platonic married male friend said and did. I told him his words and actions made me uncomfortable and I was going to shut off contact. Yesterday he messaged me that “triggers could be dismantled when properly understood”.
WTF.
Dude….I know why I have this trigger and how it serves me. Two years of therapy have helped me understand it, recognize and honor it. I have no intention of “dismantling it” as you suggested. And quite honestly I resent the fact that you are pushing back. Time to double down on the no communication thing. Any chance of me not blocking you is dwindling fast. I don’t owe you any further explanation. My reasons are mine alone.
This is something I never would have been able to do a few years ago. Growth and progress.
Not going to make any New Year’s resolutions, as most of them don’t last beyond Mid-January. What I am going to do is be thankful and grateful for the people in my life. Wish whose who are no longer in my life all the best. This year has taught me to match energy with some people. And to let them show me who they are and their place in my life. Not everyone deserves my attention and energy. Continue to work on myself and focus on being a good person. And concentrate on my self esteem issues and find things that bring me Joy.
May the new year bring you all good health, love and happiness.