I love having my mind fucked

As I was driving through town, a store name caught my eye. Another Man's Treasure.

Thats what I aim to be. 

The words the soon-to-be ex husband last spoke to me,  "you don't have that hold over me anymore" has echoed in my mind all day, but ironically, I didn't think of him as much today....and he is becoming smaller as a human being because I took my respect away from him. I want a man. Not a childish middle aged man who thinks too highly of himself. 

He was my childhood sweetheart that stayed a child.  He tossed me away....but soon I will be another man's treasure. One man's junk, is another man's treasure. 

I'm healing...and im learning. I was a young man's slave...but I want to be an older man's sweetheart.. I feel like I've lived a lot of the BDSM lifestyle..but without any care. I have attended to a narcissistic's needs for so long, I don't even know how to act yet...but I am learning and I am an eager pupil. I will serve a new Sir quite well and he will appreciate me and cherish me as his treasure. I look forward to the adventures we will have together. 

I want to make this my place where I can confess my deepest sexual deviances....ive been fighting this inside me...being a good monogamous wife...with secret desires... but now that we are done, I am free to explore...ive been exploring with my online following. Recently, I started a private snapchat story...I enjoy nurturing the relationships that I've cultivated....and I especially enjoy it when I've turned a man on....sometimes with just how I look at them. It has been a long time fantasy to have a man or men jack off to me....so I don't do this for money...(even though I do need to figure out how I'm going to support myself after leaving my husband) 

I really enjoy it when a man sends me a dickpic while he's at work...and I've inspired him to jerk off in the bathroom or in his vehicle. This is because when I tried to send dickhead husband sexy pics, he said he didn't want to 'run off the road' ...and I found out he was video chatting with his only fans fat (and I mean OBESE) bitches so didn't need my pics...other men seem to appreciate them just fine though. (I've lost weight and feel sexier than ever, and husband LOOSES interest! Ain't that a bitch?!...so im gonna encourage every lady who feels her man dont like the extra pounds...believe me, there are others that would LOVE it....my husband,  for one...except, you still may not be fat enough...he likes em BIG...like I used to be 100 lbs ago)

I'm always trying to remain positive and look for the good or find humor in life...but sometimes it gets me down...so on my private story, I asked them to send me a pick-me-up dick pic...a DICK-ME-UP. and with every one that I received it put a smile on my face....and did the trick. 

There is one man who I am not at all attracted to...but I enjoy asking him how many times a day he jacked off amd whether he thought of me...I enjoy telling him to jack off when i please. 

I sometimes think I'm sick...but I know that I AM somewhat and I like that about me now. And I also know there is others that appreciate and desire that as well. I've been isolating and hiding for so long...im a chameleon...I can become what you need or want....I know I would make a VERY good submissive for someone very strong...because I am probably bratty...and pretty sure I'm also quite dominant...so I'd switch...(not sure how that works but im ready for training)

I dont know all the things I'm into because I've been submissive to a narcissistic but insecure man for so long...I feel like I wasted my sexual peak years begging for deep satisfaction from the mental part.. I want someone to fuck not just my body...(thats been pounded plenty)...I want to have my mind fucked while every hole is filled. 

Oops...is that too much? Have I scared you away?

I have tiptoed here and there into this site...and im back because now I'm free to explore...my husband has been sneaking around fucking other women betraying us.. and being narcissistic as he usually is..he really thinks that our marriage shouldnt end because he still loves me.but he doesn't want to be around me and since I've lost weight  ...he found other fatter girls with darker skin. .and I'm older and feeling like a tossed away dishrag....but have discovered...I am not at all undesirable. I've been a wife so long, I don't even know how to act in person...so im starting here again...I want to have revenge sex....but I NEED to explore my sexuality..and unlock my mind. I've had issues where I couldnt cum with my husband and now I know it was because I deeply felt the disconnect and knew that he just wanted to hurry through sex so he could get back to his video games and all his little. ..I mean, fat whores. I'm ready to find a male I can dominate and shame..not really. Im jist angry and hurt (even though i believe i am a switch and want to be a domina)..but right now, I want to BE dominated..ive been dominated in an entire marriage by a narcissistic asshole...but I want to serve someone who appreciates and will nurture and unlock my mind...I will serve happily and only once in awhile be bratty...ok...probably more often....but I feel like there's someone out there...or several someone's who will help me...because I want to learn and gain some experience. 

This is the first post of many I assume. I've had so many thoughts I've wanted to share on this site...and when my mind settles a bit more, then I'll be back with a more organized blog... but my thoughts are jumbled and im tired. 

I started a private snapchat story recently...amd it was exciting for a couple weeks. I'm creative so it's been fun to play with many men online...but im starting to get bored already. Anytime something becomes too repetitious I get bored. I want to go on dates...because I've been neglected so long..but I know that the sex will just be another dick...not that I've had any other dick..but my husnand was real good in bed...the mechanics were fine...it wasn't my pussy he neglected, it was my mind and soul. And eventually I couldn't cum...he thought I was cheating...so he did. ...actually it was an excuse because he WANTED to cheat...he was already having emotional affairs with countless women. The more I write, the more I wonder why I stayed so long. 

This is going to be a journey...my therapist told me to journal...and I have...but theres this thing in me that wants someone else to read my thoughts...I like to imagine that SOMEONE might be interested in what goes on in my head....its titillating. So here I am...a newbie .. but with years of experience I just need to apply to BDSM.