4 months ago. September 28, 2022 at 11:11 PM
All I can think of
Is yours hands all over me, finding every curve and soft spot that hasn’t been touched in years. I want to feel you tremble beneath me with desire, shaking and lustful for the promise of a long deep wet fuck. And denying you. As much as I want it too, denying you the pleasure that seems so sure would be too sweet to pass up.
Allowing all other pleasure and denying ourselves the act itself. Could be fun for once. The gentle caresses and soft whispers of what may soon come.
A distraction like none I have experienced before; I am concerned that you have poisoned me. Maybe I poisoned myself. One last poor judgement call.
Every word from you sends a flame across my system, skin alight and flush. Sex slicked and dripping from the promise of proximity. Simple attention.
You are still withholding and my fear tells me that it can’t be withholding if there is nothing there. It has been a decade since the desire to draw someone into myself has prevailed so ardently.
I can tell you now that I could spend my life exploring you. Open and fluid and tangible I want to memorize every inch of you. I have already lost all desire for anyone but you and it’s driving me absolutely insane..it’s irrational and and childish. Lacking in emotional maturity, really. But I don’t think that I care as long as we can be mutually insane. I need to hear that you want me. What you think of when I cross your mind. You are holding back. Teasing me. Being careful. Taking your time, or again. Maybe nothing is there. Or less than I hope. Too little to matter.
All I can think of is what if you don’t feel the same way. How fucking foolish I am to think that there is a chance. Hanging my hope on another beautiful boy who somehow has taken ahold of my heart strings. I didn’t think that it would be so easy this time. The sweet song of commitment and devotion is apparently all I need to hear before my hips quiver and I simply melt in the hands of an unsuspecting soul. The exclusivity never mattered to me before I realized that you were everything I could have wished. Perfect in every flawed and derelict way I could hope. Maybe Irish boys are born with eternal youth and the devils mischief.
I would marry you, illegally and recklessly. As soon as I could. I want to be yours and only yours, purely naked and unashamed of the pure obsession and worship of love. The wife you desire.
All I can think of is how impatient I am. Maybe you could be the one who is finally patient enough for me. Who lies in wait of better timing. Brighter days. Shines through the darkness and fills my plate with the ecstasy I crave. Burning desire to consume all that you are settles like a coal in my belly. I should have passed you by and left you to a more peaceful life I would never touch.
All I can think of is that I am a silly little fool.