allow me for a moment
to yearn
for the slightest brush of your fingertips
the remiscent odor of you having just left the room
I need to replace all of these
fondnesses
caresses
careful whispers
with something new
rebuild
not recreate
but pave over
the painful bits
under the guiding hands
of someone who actually knows what the fuck they are doing
someone I actually respect,
I guess
is it my heart
or the compressions
because as you bring me back to life
you're killing me inside
the dull ache that i'm so familiar with
creeps around the edges of your smile
when you see it's me
and it's teasing my tender heart
my own fault
for diving in
and knowing
the depth was never there
if you had two of her now
so that you were never without
what would you do?
I can't stop considering the sadness of such a fond thought
now that such love is lost
and you're crawling
quickly
grasping
at the end of my chain
we may be aligned in the stars
but it makes no sense
to give a shit
when there are far more important things
for my mind to tend to
than thoughts of
your reign
they really aren't helping anything
but there they are
taunting me with our compatbility
a day in the life
of waking up to you
around you
and begging for the taste of you
to break my fast
and sustain my morning
hands around my skull
whispering husky nothings
and allowing me to melt into your skin
as we go our seperate ways
throughout our responsible days
the tease and taunt
of appreciation
for our respective roles
desires
structuring time around your movements
stretching the fabric of reality to align us entirely
while time maybe be a construct
you are a monument
to everything a man should be
aware and alert
compassionate and flawed
every inch of your soliloquoy has entranced me entirely
maybe it's just that I know what I want now
and we're both a specific brand of desire
ebbed
and set to flow in full force by the end of the day
washing over us like a sigh of relief and we lay back and let the smoke encircle the room
blowing you out like a candle
has got to be the best way to end the day
that I'll likely never know
`that is always the
goddamn cliche
way of it all
the least important part of our lives is that we're perfect for each other
or we're just mirroring what we want to see in someone who is willing to match our freak
I can't quite tell
All I know is that I want to hear more of your voice
Crawl inside of it and take a nap
The inevitable fucking
will probably come sooner than we think
We're both pretty good at this game.
lonesome
maybe it's genetic
a long line of
misunderstood
miscreant
addled
assholes
self important
righteous and appointed
maybe we've earned it
though I am left
rejoicing in solitude
while forlorn at the echos of my heartstrings
resonating
through the sorrows i've forgotten to keep track of
washing over me
when I least expect
to need a break
yeah yeah
everything is fine
dont think
too much about it all
it'll happen regardless
and if I just do it
it would be done already
but if I'm doing everything
including myself
then what use do I have
for anyone else
is that I want to be the fetish
craving
insatiable desire
just me
whoever that is
sense
sense
sense
sense
sense
sense
sense
sense
sense
sense
sense
sense
sense
sensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesensesense
but over and
over
and over again
please
and thank you
I've never made eye contact with anyone else
definitely not this often
the infinite moment when you reach the deepest parts of me
and linger
increasing the need for you
and fulfilling it all at once
screaming and shouting is forbidden
but you want to hear me
and there are inescapable moments of ecstasy
where you overtake me entirely
and get what you want
no will left of my own
I want to reach out
but I won't
it always ends the same
I miss you
but it's dumb
and I miss everyone
Connection isn't all that rare
but people who value it are
I thought you
we did
I don't know
I suppose it doesn't really matter