Preys & their Beasts

I remembered all these years that I endeavoured to get to know myself better, one thing comes particularly prominent. It is when my trusting of things or people laid to waste, I don’t just feel the pain of losing that thing or person, I also suffer the loss of a piece of ‘myself’ and the security of the piece that it provided. As time passed, I battled with losing more and more of ‘myself’ and yet I am still trying very hard not to lose my core self and craving for the redemption of the irredeemable, the faith of myself, my true self, to whom I know is both an angel (really? Lol) and a demon. 

I signed up for Thecage / Fet a year ago with absolutely no expectations (This is probably a lie as I probably wouldn’t have signed up If I don’t have a little hope). I know my demons. But I also know I never wanted to settle for less. I know some essences have been missing in my life and I will need to find this very piece of puzzle to make my life a whole, and that is, to find a Dom that can reach all the way to my soul (not just my holes Lol), to the degree I know I can spend the rest of my life being his slave, body, mind and soul.

And I think, I have found him.

I am not being overdramatic. I know it is HIM right from the third message he sent me, and “Tenderness underpinned with cruelty”? Who would have written something exquisite like this? It set my pulse racing and I am immediately hooked. To get to know this person and be part of his world has been my ultimate desire since. We met two days later, and since then we became inseparable, and today marks our three months journey together. Countless moments and unforgettable memories exploded in my life, like many little nuclear bombs. So many tears and joys of pain, sufferings, tortures, happiness, love, and being in love. That said “If tears of love, joy, and ecstasy have not washed your cheeks, you have yet to taste life – Sadhguru” I know I am finally living my life, as I am entitled, as Sir’s slave.

Suffering to me, is far more powerfully shaped by what’s in my soul than by what’s in my body or even in my mind. I mean it’s all real, the sufferings. How could it not be real when the whip marks or breast torture bruises stayed on our body for days. But all the harsh sufferings that I experienced were shaped by my desires, cravings and deep fears, something Sir gets from day one we met, it’s like he is the real me, my true self and I finally meet my true self through him, through the sufferings he put me through, and the more I suffered, the more I meet my true self. This is highly addicted, and this is what makes our vanilla and D/S relationship lasts.

Three months, only three months, but it’s like three years, thirty years to me, like what my Sir said today, it is hard to believe all that has happened, and all that is still to come. You have made my life so much better, and you have made me a better person, to which I am eternally grateful.

Love xx

He thoroughly used, fucked and destroyed me for god knows how many times. We lied on the bed. He hold me into his arms. We chatted, we giggled, we kissed, and his hands breezed through my naked body. He then spooned me, hugged me into his heart and slowly fell asleep. Our skin touches each other. Our fingers crossed. His breaths breezes through my neck and his beautiful cock rested on my pussy lips. His heart beat slowed down and his face slowly faded into my neck. He would probably wake up like last night, slowly slided his cock into my pussy in the middle of the night and fucked both of my holes brutally again and again. Made me cleaned up his cock, like his little whore and spooned me to sleep again.

Thank you for making me the luckiest girl in the world, Sir. I have forgotten how long I haven't have the feeling of falling for something or someone already. Thanks for bringing that feelings back for me too.. xx

Update 9 Jun 2023 - Officially, I'd like to come out of the closet to embrace what it meant to be my life, my happiness, my deepest sexuality and my every fantasies. I would like to be owned, kept, used and trained by a considerate Dom, who would like to have a mono relationship with me that may lead to a life time partnership. It is a long journey to find the Mr. Right, but I will not settle until I find him. I would like this to be in real life, so please be live in Sydney. If you are interested, please kindly reach out. xx

How can I just let you walk away?

Just let you leave without a trace

When I stand here taking every breath, with you, ooh

You're the only one who really knew me at all

How can you just walk away from me?

When all I can do is watch you leave

'Cos we've shared the laughter and the pain and even shared the tears

You're the only one who really knew me at all

So take a look at me now, oh there's just an empty space

And there's nothin' left here to remind me

Just the memory of your face

Ooh, take a look at me now, well there's just an empty space

And you coming back to me is against the odds

And that's what I've got to face

I wish, I could just make you turn around

Turn around and see me cry

There's so much I need to say to you so many reasons why

You're the only one who really knew me at all

So take a look at me now, well there's just an empty space

And there's nothin' left here to remind me, just the memory of your face

Now take a look at me now, 'cos there's just an empty space

But to wait for you, is all I can do and that's what I've got to face

Take a good look at me now, 'cos I'll still be standin' here

And you coming back to me is against all odds

It's the chance I've gotta take

Take a look at me now

Woke up from an exotic dream of me being tighten up and hung upside down. Two big cocks sky dived right into my pouringly wet holes and pumped me like crazy, while a cucumber was in my mouth and I was instructed not to leave a mark of my teeth on it, or I would be punished by serving as a cum dumpster for another ten dicks for the rest of the day.

I laughed, really laugh, wow, that's serious fucked up, though amazingly creative and fulfilling. I was trying to remember more details from the dream, but nothing more, couldn't think of anything else.. and when I reached down to my pantie, it's soaking wet and I can easily fuck my pussy with four fingers of one hand, with the other rubbed crudely of both of my already very hard breasts, yes, I sleep mostly naked with only a pantie.

Not very often I would have sexual dreams, but if I have, they are always quite unbelievably slutty and rough.. there's a possibility that my dreams are fulfilling my real desires as a sub, even a slave, or even more...question is, will my dreams all come true?

Many people messaged me these couple of days. I'm extremely humbled and thank you for all your attention and kindness. If I don't have a chance to reply your message, all I'd like to say is I'll get on my knees for you in this cyber world and please forgive me.

These days, the more I think about how I started to coming out, the more I could think of these two words - LET GO...

To be honest, I don't exactly know what and how to let go, I just want to loosen up. Give up the tightness in my body, the tense coming from work, the anxiety trying to please everyone and anyone, the pain that I feel when I feel like being left out... We just have to admit that we all have those days or moments, that we feel extremely vulnerable, yet we still try everything we can wanting to hide it, put up a mask and tell everyone, "I am ok."

No, I am not ok, I want to strip everything off, my clothes, my tightness, my dignity, my self-esteem, my control and power at work, even my intentions are not important. Now I'm light as a feather, floating in the air with all my arms and legs spreading out...

Now that I've completely LET GO, it's a good time to use, power over, and fuck me, both my body and my mind, fill me up with all the good new essence...

I think there's a fineline of everything on this universe, including a D/S relationship. The most powerful D role is not just by sending out demands / to do lists and requesting services. I know this are all very important and basically the chores we as S need to complete and fulfil. However, a D/S relationship is a two way bridge, I think the most powerful D power comes from knowing when/how to push and when to stop either physically or mentally, or both. Knowing how the mind of a S works and how to trigger a S to come out of his/her darkest dreams and make them happen in reality takes a lots of skills and patience. It is like fostering a vanilla relationship, but takes so much more efforts than a vanilla relationship if both parties want to make it work for more than just a roleplay, a fuck or simply a fulfilment of personal needs and desire. 

Just a bit of my thoughts today. Agreed? 

My Sir is a smart guy, he knows how to push and when to push while maintaining a good vibe.. he helped me to admit that I want it happen in my real life, instead just in the cyber world or just in my mind..

There are moments we feel vulnerable in our life. The most vulnerable moment for me so far was when I opened the door of my home for Sir and let him in. I never feel so deteriorated and ashamed in my whole life. I feel like the bridge has been crossed and there's no way back. I'm fully exposed, ashamed, used and fucked both physically and mentally. I think I'd remember this moment for the rest of my life...and Sir will always be hold in a special place in my heart ❤️ 

It's a come-out-of-the-closet day for me when I typed "Yes Sir" and gave him my address. Yes, today's my first day putting the BDSM scene into reality for myself.

I was so nervous to the degree that I was sweating like crazy before he arrives. But I was very surprised to see how quickly I relaxed when I saw his face and let him in. Straight away, all I can think of was I should be on my knees.

He stands in front of the couch, facing me, asking me to help him undress, piece by piece, until he is completely naked. The moment I saw his cock pops out of the undies, I'm simply amazed by such a big, thick and beautiful cock.

Sir sat down on the couch, I was told to be on my knees and start serving his cock with my mouth and no hands. I was desperately wanted to do it and when I slowly putting his cock deep down into my throat, it's like a dream come true, I get to serve my Sir's cock with my mouth.

As I continue sucking, licking and deep throating his cock and Sir is playing with my nipples, I am asked to stand up, and slowing stripping off until I was completely naked. I was told to turn around and Sir starts playing with my pussy n asshole. Yes, I know I have a very tight pussy. Sir asked:"do you think you can take in my big cock?" I said:"yes sir, I can." Then Sir starts pushing my hips down and his big cock starts pumping into my little Asian pussy. The moment Sir's cock completely submerged into my pussy, is the moment I feel like I can have this cock inside me for a whole day if Sir allows me.

While still keeping his cock inside me, Sir takes me and putting me onto the bed, Sir starts spanking my sorry butts, that feels amazing, I just hope this won't stop.

When Sir asked me to bring the anal plug and put it in. I tried couple of times couldn't put it in. Sir helps me. It finally got in and Sir starts pumping me very hard and very quickly into my pussy. I feel out of the world as both of my holes are occupied and I fell like I'm totally stuffed, simply amazing...

Sir dumped all his cum inside me and ordered me not to wash myself for the rest of the day and keeps me feel used and occupied, that just makes me feel very humiliated.

Yes, now in reality, I am a sub, a slut and my body is to be used and consumed by my Sir, anytime and anyway he wishes.

Xx

Another day came by and some chats came along with someone...I feel like, yes like what he saids..I have been waiting for someone to nurture something meaningful out of me...

Sometimes, the mental fire and uneasiness could mess you up so much more then the physical... the longing to be belonged to someone and the longing to be able to chat with someone our of the ordinary, kills me...

Let's just hold up to another unaccustomed day...