I just don’t know how to feel

Yes it is time to Blog again its been a little while 

I have had so many ups and downs that it is not even funny 

But lately it has come to my attention that there are a lot more females on this site which has its bad and good sides 

the Good the more the amrrier they say 

I say bring thme on 

But the bad side is that I have been questioned on when sending people my pictures that they are fake 

But even when I proofed it it was syill not enough 

What is up with that?

I mean I am showing you on how the picture came about and you say on no the girl on that pic is a size 5 you are not a size 5 I don't like being lied to but I showed you the picture before that picture was taken and I am still questioned 

He said there are too many Fakes this site 

Now to all the fake ladies out there 

Please get your shit together or get off of on this site

I mean I am not a guy so I will never be able to find out who you are unless someone will tell me and than that will be the end off you on this site 

But if you are looking for a sugar daddy this is not the place to be 

Google Sugar daddy and you will find a long list of sites that you can try out 

But please leave these guys alone there are some good hearted people on this site and they don't need to be dragged down by a fake Easter Bunny 

and I feel like I just spoke bad about the  Easter Bunny 

To all the Gentleman out there 

Please verify that these girls are real and you should do that on day 1 or2 don't wait until 1 month is over and after she got what she wanted she ghosts you or deletes her profile 

Ways to verify that they are real

Ask far a face photo requesting certain things like lick you lip or such 

Verify by calling on here if you are premium and she is too 

Or Telegram Whatsapp I am not sure about kik or snap chat ow Google chat 

Chat with her even if it is just for a couple of minutes 

You can find out quickly if she is real or not 

So yesterday I met this guy and yes I know I know it is a crazy story but maybe some of you can relate some of you maybe most of you may not

As I was saying I met this guy and he was pretty persistent in messaging me. So I said to myself he will not give up let’s chat

So we moved to another app to chat and he had asked me if my end goal was to be collared I said well yes isn’t that what everyone is looking for.

So we talked about spiritual things like religion and such,

and than he says I would like to own you I took it as a joke he was serious offered me a contract. I was like no way lol this guy is crazy but I played along.

He then says that I should call him Sir since he owned me now. I was like what is he talking about. He said yes we have a virbal agreement I did not think that I agreed to anything until I mentioned to him he does not own me and that I am indeed still talking to other Doms he got angry told me you tell them right now that I own you and not to contact you again.

I was shell shocked being part of my childhood I suffered very much the same abuse of being told I am ugly you get the whole thing so I did tell everyone that I had a Dom and Not to contact me and I did the same to the one person that means the world to me my English Gent. I hadn’t even seen a picture of this guy I stopped said to myself Kara WTF and moved as fast as I could I tried to delete my message to my baby but it was too late he had already read it. I said Fucking hell. Told the guy I couldn’t I forgot I asked him for a picture told him that I could do it.

The damage is done I lost a good friend that will never speak to me again. But I pray that you will forgive me this time I fucked up. Royally but I hope we will move past this. I promise it will never happen again I never broke a promise and I never will. Please forgive me. To my friend that I lost yes it’s you I am sorry that I did that you were kind to me and I just did what I did. But people make mistake even at my age no one is perfect

Though we all thrive to be perfect.

Leave me your feedback

Thank you for reading

FYI This is my personal Journey and Thank GOD for freedom of Speech

Happy Easter Everyone

Kara

Hi everybody

It’s me after not writing for a while I am back to report what’s been going on.

So here is the update

So I thought that I had found my forever.

Yep finally…..

But yeah No not anymore

The question have why are there some people that can fall for someone so fast so quickly?

I am one of them hopeless romantic yes that’s me falling faster than a shooting star.

But I lost him, because of jealousy or insecurities yes Fu…. if all up.

So I am permanently blocked. I wish that button did not exist. I have never used it and I never will.

You want to chat I am here that’s just me.

So we had been talking for a while off and on blocked unblocked I fell in love fast he said he loved me too.

He was falling for me but I messed it up.

So yesterday evening he said he was going to bed.

We said our goodbyes the usual we had just gotten off of a phone call.

Then a hour and a half later he pops up on the site.

So I have seen him before and messaged him before but he never responded until last night.

Ugh I wish I could take it all back.

So I messaged him and he messaged back.

He said I am talking to a friend.

Alarm clock going off I have been cheated on so many times I lost count.

So we go back and forth I am like does she know about me he was like no.

It just took me back real quick.

I basically accused him of cheating and I truly did not mean to.

I wanted to apologize tell him I made a mistake but I was blocked so how could I apologize tell him I was mistaken we are in this together I thought but I am blocked. I just don’t get it people make mistakes don’t they?

I mean I made a mistake I know better for next time it won’t happen again pls I wanted to tell him, but the stupid block button won’t let me

I am lost truly lost

Give me your opinion all of it.

Until tomorrow……

Day 2

I have done two blogs so far trying to also write about my life

Is a hard task but I will finish it this time.

So far nothing no sign of him.

Well it is official I am up for grabs again.

Like a piece of meat on the Meat market ugh that just sounds wrong.

But OG you missed out not me as they say there are plenty of fishes in the Sea.

But I wanted you I wanted to be yours but you chose to throw me away. I have to move on I waited all weekend and you not showing up today has let me know that you are no longer interested.

It wasn’t it. I realized today that you are not a protector at all and I never once felt safe.

I talked to one Dom today and the first thing he said that if this was to be a thing he would have to relocate me. That is a pure Gentleman in my book.

How many of you are willing to do that for someone you just met.

I tell you pretty amazing….

He is in his 60’s so for that reason alone it will never work

But still I found that very interesting.

So I updated my profile yes that is my ass

That is me being locked up

That is my side profile 3 years make a difference

"If you do as He says, you will suffer. I don't know how, or when, but it will cost you. He will draw you in and tie you down, until all that you are is His."

I put this in as a reminder as a Dom you are not only to Dominate but protect make us submissive feel safe built trust.

Trust is earned not given.

We are here to serve as much as you are to protect

Bye Kara

I just don’t know how to feel anymore one day I am not one day I am here

I miss the person that was strong bold but was I ever or did I just did as I am told.

I have all these feelings inside I just don’t know if I want to still hide.

I thought we were meant to be but faith did not mean for it to happen. I would have given up everything just for you.

But a man like you who was I kidding you were never mine but I was yours. I would have given you 200% control over me. But GOD had other intentions I guess. That a man like you was just out of my reach I would never have a man I wanted never man why is it hurting so bad when I think he is laughing enjoying himself not giving me a second thought.

I know it is something he is not even contemplating if he ever had feelings for me. I think it was all just a game

For him not for me

I did not just wanted a Dom I wanted a best friend a partner nothing more nothing less.

Now I am left with a broken heart I have to pick up the pieces and move on while he just moves onto the next one

I am devastated I don’t know what to do. There is Nothing for you to do Michele he is done he gave up let it go move on like you always have yes you are getting older but you got this. You can do this pick up the pieces and move on you’ve got this.

That’s what I am telling myself will it work only time will tell.

He is a ghost today a day later.

It’s like he was never there but still is.

Day 1

It is the day after I am not sure what made me think this was easy he did not say it’s over not yet.

But he will I just know it in my heart.

He said he needed a sext whore or a submissive and that I had not proven any of these things I needed to find a way immediately or it was just a waste of time. Well shortly after he went off line and did not return.

I still don’t know what a sext whore is but I have never been a sub before.

I am New I don’t know how to give up control.

I am 49 and raised 2 kids on my own I had to take control of my life otherwise I could do not have survived.

Yes I had told him everything about myself,send my first tit pic ever.

I am from Japanese background so sending those things is nothing but untraditional.

I want to submit and give up control but for me that is hard to do.

I don’t know where to start.

I don’t know a thing about what is to be a submissive but I want to learn.

What can I do at this point?

Give up move on.

I have no other choice I cannot wait day in day out until he made up his mind or was him getting off line an implication that we were done?

I am not a mind reader we are thousand of miles apart.

I am so oblivious to all of this.

Should I wait another day

He is out of my league my head keeps telling me but my heart says your chemistry was there.

Was it there? Or was it not. I felt it but did he really feel it too?

Now I begin to question everything.

What happened to getting to know each other I guess we totally skipped that part but isn’t that how a D/S relationship is supposed to start off?

I don’t know what to do

Do you?