CtAndy's Random Thoughts and Writings

Something that I really enjoy but havent had much opportunity to do as of late is erotic hypnosis. I've been missing it lately and I would really love to do a session, or a few, if the right person were to come along. I'm particularly fond of trigger play including forced orgasms or orgasms on command, edging and orgasm denial, sensation play, voyeurism, and a wide variety of other things.

I have 7 years experience as a Tist, looking for a cis female, around my age or younger, preferable slim or athletic in build, and most importantly an open minded and willing subject.

I'm more than happy to discuss any details of what I would like prior to agreement to do a session. Informed consent is particularly important to me. The goal is to have the subject enjoy the session as much as I do, the last thing I want is for someone to regret something after the fact. DM if you have any questions or you might have interest.

I'm also more than open to general questions and discussion on the topic. Being that it isn't the most common of kinks, I know that is often considered some kind of mystical taboo that most people know very little about. I would be more than happy to chat with anyone or answer questions in general in the comments so anyone and everyone can learn if they are interested.

Other than that, no matter what else is going on in the world, I hope you all have a phenomenal day.

What are your thoughts?

Love it?

Hate it?

Love to hate it?

Completely neutral? 

What do you like, want, and enjoy about this sort of play? 

For those that don't like it, why and what would you prefer instead?

Time and time again this search ends in nothing but disappointment. Hours of conversation that gives the impression that you have actually found someone that fits what you want and are looking for. Deep and thought out responses and an smashing amazing conversation. 

You told yourself not to, but that little hope thing started to stir in the back of your mind and you didn't help but look forward to the next message waiting to continue the conversation but also restraining yourself because this person wants to go slow. 

Then you wake up in the morning and go to check your messages. Nothing from her since early last night which was kind of unexpected, but she said she would be busy. Click in her message to say good morning. 

"You can't respond to this conversation because this person has deactivated their account, you've blocked them, they've blocked you, or they are on a timeout." IYKYK

No message, no explanation, just nothing. And despite your logical fucking brain, there is a little part that says, "Well maybe she got reported by some ass hat that she told go fuck off." But you also know that's likely not the truth. 

I would rather have someone tell me to fuck off to my face and tell me why than have someone ghost and be left to wonder. If you've ever ghosted anyone in a situation like this, FUCK YOU. 

That is all.

Im starting to think these two things are as rare as shoulds and mights. Rumored to be true and people swear that they have witnessed them but I've never seen one.

Am I the odd one out here? Am I the only one that has a days worth of great conversation only to be met with silence afterwards? Not so much as an excuse, just crickets. If people are only looking for a one time casual convo or whatever why is it so hard for them to say that when asked?

I dunno, maybe I'm just doing it wrong. That's probably it right?

Or is it all in vein and just a giant waste of time and energy? I'm more and more inclined to believe the latter.

Clean, dirty, upside down or sideways, tell me something funny.

If you're too shy feel free to send via DM.

I could use a few laughs today and I'm sure other people could too.

There are times where I experience extreme high where I'm very active and involved on here and other places. During these times I enjoy writing and write quite often. I also am quite socialble and enjoy interacting with people.

Other times, and typically more often, there are regular and deep lows. When these come around and honestly don't feel like doing much of anything. I often find it difficult to do the normal every day tasks, let alone doing other things like writing or being social.

For those of you that might wonder, this is a big part of the reason why you might see me on here inconsistently or sporadically at times. Even with all the right people around and good things going on it can be difficult. When things aren't going all that well, it seems nearly impossible.

For all those that are fighting battles that no one else can see, keep on keeping on. Finding the light at the end of the journey only requires taking the first step, and then to keep on walking. One step at a time. One foot in front of the other. Anyone can take one step. Just one more step, and then another.

Some of us eventuality find ourselves with a significant other that is on a completely different wave length in kink or sexually in general. This kind of situation leaves a bit of a vacuum for desires and kinks that our SOs don't share.

For some of us our SOs are open and understanding enough to agree and support us in finding other play partners that share similar interests. Unfortunately the success rates of finding play partners with like interests, at least in my experience, is quite low. You can probably find a one off kind of situation, but unlikely to find anything regular or consistent. On top of that, at the end of the day, they aren't your SO and your primary person.

The other option is to live without or watch copious amounts of porn. Porn is never really satisfying more than temporarily, and well living without really isn't fun for anyone. For many though, these are the only real options available to them. Most people aren't open to having open relationships or outside play partners in any capacity.

The rare third scenario is when your partner isn't into it, but is willing to give it a go anyways because they know that it will make you happy. This scenario starts out great and hopeful and maybe you can introduce them to this kink that you're really into in a way that they enjoy it too and then everything would be perfect. Again it doesn't take long to realize that is not the typical result for these kinds of things.

Sure there are people out there that really don't care if their partner is having fun and that might be part of the fun for them. But for those of us that want our partner to buy into and enjoy what we are doing, and be an active participant because they want to be, the first uncontrolled facial expression or adverse body language that you see typically puts a huge damper on things and changes the entire mood.

In all likelihood these are just things that some of us will have to figure out over time how to deal with on our own. There is a reason why these thoughts and fantasies are referred to as our darkest. They are probably meant to be kept to ourselves.

Even if we are comfortable with being completely open with our partner about these things, if we were to write the a note or a letter explaining all of the fantasies we have floating around in our head. If we wrote down all of these dark twisted screwed up things that we wanted to do with or to them, not just the things that we have touched on before, but the deep down dark things that you don't openly admit. What if they reject us? What if they read it and you see fear and disgust and disappointment on their face? There is nothing worse in the world than experiencing that.

So we continue on moving forward thinking often about the fantasies that will likely never happen, at least not with your person. Because at the end of the day, what else is there to do?

Sometimes you're just in the mood to have a little casual fun. Unfortunately that mood has been all the time lately.

I would love to find someone to get back into rope work with. Also I feel like I haven't done erotic hypnosis in forever. I have been craving them both a lot lately.

Alas, we can not always have what we want and wish for. Maybe someday in the not too far off future I'll find someone to enjoy these things with again.

In the not too distant past I had an encounter with a young woman that was quite enjoyable on my part. After talking for a couple weeks she decided to come down and visit me for a day. She drove five hours down to where I was to come and see me. Five hours one way with only the promise of meeting up to get some ice cream. It ended up being a bit more than that, but still, a five hour drive one way.

So after the five hour drive we met at a dairy queen not far from where my house is. She was very shy, but she built up the courage to at least get a little ice cream. We ordered and had some light conversation waiting for our ice cream to be made. Once we got it we went back to my car and sat and talked while enjoying the sweet treat. After we had finished and talked for a while longer, I asked if she would like to come back to the house with me. She agreed and went back to her car to follow me.

We got back to the house and went inside. Spent a little bit of time introducing her to the dog and letting her get a little more comfortable. After a while we migrated to the couch at turned on some unimportant TV show and continued to talk. I asked her how she was feeling and what she was thinking and her response was simply "I'm shy".

I asked if she would be more comfortable texting me her thoughts instead of saying them and she nodded yes. So she turned to her phone and typed away. We had discussed at length the different things that we both enjoyed sexually over the last couple weeks. One of the things that she particularly enjoyed but was shy and bashful about was being throat fucked, used very hard, given little if any chance to breathe or recover, and having a man have his way with her for his pleasure.

My phone vibrated after she finished typing away. In short, her message said that she was shy and nervous but she really wanted to please me and just needed me to tell her what to do and she would do it. I asked her verbally if she was sure and she nodded yes.

"Good, very good." I say to her as she sits on the opposite end of the couch with her gaze averted down and away from me. I move over to her, grab her gently by the chin and lift her face towards me.

"Look at me." I say and she responds immediately.

I tell her "You're going to be my good little slut now and do what I want, but I know how shy you can be and I don't want you pushing yourself further than you can handle. So at any point if things get too intense for you, you are simply going to say Time Out. Do you understand?"

She nods her head yes again and I say, "No, for this you have to say it. I need you to tell me verbally that you understand and that this is what you want. Do you understand? Is this what you want?"

She turns her eyes downward again and says "Yes Sir, to both."

With that I step back away from her and sit back down on the couch. "On your knees in front of me." I command and she moves immediately.

Oh we are going to have some fun tonight. I think to myself. Yes we are going to have some fun.

To be continued.......