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CtAndy's Random Thoughts and Writings

Here is a collection of my various writings. They range from the erotic to the philosophical. I have a variety of writings on other platforms that I will be transferring over here in the near future.

Fair warning, my erotic writing isn't necessarily to everyone's taste so if you don't appreciate it please feel free to scroll on by. I am always happy to receive constructive criticism and engage in intelligent and productive conversation, but I'm not interested in fighting with random people on the internet. Please take any such sentiment elsewhere.

I do hope that those that do indulge in my writings do enjoy them and just maybe one of them might open up your mind to something new.
4 days ago. February 25, 2024 at 5:29 PM

Some of us eventuality find ourselves with a significant other that is on a completely different wave length in kink or sexually in general. This kind of situation leaves a bit of a vacuum for desires and kinks that our SOs don't share.

For some of us our SOs are open and understanding enough to agree and support us in finding other play partners that share similar interests. Unfortunately the success rates of finding play partners with like interests, at least in my experience, is quite low. You can probably find a one off kind of situation, but unlikely to find anything regular or consistent. On top of that, at the end of the day, they aren't your SO and your primary person.

The other option is to live without or watch copious amounts of porn. Porn is never really satisfying more than temporarily, and well living without really isn't fun for anyone. For many though, these are the only real options available to them. Most people aren't open to having open relationships or outside play partners in any capacity.

The rare third scenario is when your partner isn't into it, but is willing to give it a go anyways because they know that it will make you happy. This scenario starts out great and hopeful and maybe you can introduce them to this kink that you're really into in a way that they enjoy it too and then everything would be perfect. Again it doesn't take long to realize that is not the typical result for these kinds of things.

Sure there are people out there that really don't care if their partner is having fun and that might be part of the fun for them. But for those of us that want our partner to buy into and enjoy what we are doing, and be an active participant because they want to be, the first uncontrolled facial expression or adverse body language that you see typically puts a huge damper on things and changes the entire mood.

In all likelihood these are just things that some of us will have to figure out over time how to deal with on our own. There is a reason why these thoughts and fantasies are referred to as our darkest. They are probably meant to be kept to ourselves.

Even if we are comfortable with being completely open with our partner about these things, if we were to write the a note or a letter explaining all of the fantasies we have floating around in our head. If we wrote down all of these dark twisted screwed up things that we wanted to do with or to them, not just the things that we have touched on before, but the deep down dark things that you don't openly admit. What if they reject us? What if they read it and you see fear and disgust and disappointment on their face? There is nothing worse in the world than experiencing that.

So we continue on moving forward thinking often about the fantasies that will likely never happen, at least not with your person. Because at the end of the day, what else is there to do?


4 days ago. February 25, 2024 at 2:16 AM

Sometimes you're just in the mood to have a little casual fun. Unfortunately that mood has been all the time lately.

I would love to find someone to get back into rope work with. Also I feel like I haven't done erotic hypnosis in forever. I have been craving them both a lot lately.

Alas, we can not always have what we want and wish for. Maybe someday in the not too far off future I'll find someone to enjoy these things with again.

5 days ago. February 24, 2024 at 1:53 AM

In the not too distant past I had an encounter with a young woman that was quite enjoyable on my part. After talking for a couple weeks she decided to come down and visit me for a day. She drove five hours down to where I was to come and see me. Five hours one way with only the promise of meeting up to get some ice cream. It ended up being a bit more than that, but still, a five hour drive one way.

So after the five hour drive we met at a dairy queen not far from where my house is. She was very shy, but she built up the courage to at least get a little ice cream. We ordered and had some light conversation waiting for our ice cream to be made. Once we got it we went back to my car and sat and talked while enjoying the sweet treat. After we had finished and talked for a while longer, I asked if she would like to come back to the house with me. She agreed and went back to her car to follow me.

We got back to the house and went inside. Spent a little bit of time introducing her to the dog and letting her get a little more comfortable. After a while we migrated to the couch at turned on some unimportant TV show and continued to talk. I asked her how she was feeling and what she was thinking and her response was simply "I'm shy".

I asked if she would be more comfortable texting me her thoughts instead of saying them and she nodded yes. So she turned to her phone and typed away. We had discussed at length the different things that we both enjoyed sexually over the last couple weeks. One of the things that she particularly enjoyed but was shy and bashful about was being throat fucked, used very hard, given little if any chance to breathe or recover, and having a man have his way with her for his pleasure.

My phone vibrated after she finished typing away. In short, her message said that she was shy and nervous but she really wanted to please me and just needed me to tell her what to do and she would do it. I asked her verbally if she was sure and she nodded yes.

"Good, very good." I say to her as she sits on the opposite end of the couch with her gaze averted down and away from me. I move over to her, grab her gently by the chin and lift her face towards me.

"Look at me." I say and she responds immediately.

I tell her "You're going to be my good little slut now and do what I want, but I know how shy you can be and I don't want you pushing yourself further than you can handle. So at any point if things get too intense for you, you are simply going to say Time Out. Do you understand?"

She nods her head yes again and I say, "No, for this you have to say it. I need you to tell me verbally that you understand and that this is what you want. Do you understand? Is this what you want?"

She turns her eyes downward again and says "Yes Sir, to both."

With that I step back away from her and sit back down on the couch. "On your knees in front of me." I command and she moves immediately.

Oh we are going to have some fun tonight. I think to myself. Yes we are going to have some fun.

To be continued.......

1 week ago. February 19, 2024 at 9:28 PM

You would think that it wouldn't be this hard to find people to interact with or play with or even find a like minded partner. Why is it so difficult? I don't think that I'm too picky or too far out there compared to most. So why is it so difficult to find anyone or better yet actually make any kind of meaningful connection? Or am I the only one with this issue?


1 week ago. February 18, 2024 at 2:52 PM

Hmm let's see where this might go. Could be interesting.

Let the definitions begin.

Define me in one word.

Original challenge:

And GO!

1 week ago. February 17, 2024 at 7:03 PM

If you aren't familiar with the thought problem of Shrödinger's cat, here is a simple explanation.

The problem is that if you seal a cat inside a box with something that can kill the cat, as long as you don't look inside the box, then both versions of reality exist simultaneously.

The version with the cat being alive exists at the same time as the version where the cat has died. Only when an observer opens the box does one of these versions of reality cease to exist.

What if in life everything is just like Schrödinger's cat? What if the near future is full of multiple possible realities, and only once we have decided on a course of action and then observed the results of our own decisions does one of those realities become real to us?

What if in the problem, we were able to make changes on the outside environment of the box that could potentially effect which reality we experience once we open the box?

If we look at life with this mentality or thought process, wouldn't that mean that we can potentially influence our own lives in any direction that we desire for it to go?

The simple decision to do something different today that you wouldn't typically do could change your entire life and all you have to do is make the choice.

So do you keep doing the same things you have always done? Or do you do something different?

1 week ago. February 16, 2024 at 2:13 PM

When physical touch is a primary love language for someone, and their day to day is absent of affectionate touch, it can be very difficult to feel whole. It's really easy to fall into a deep depression that's difficult to get out of.

If you care about a physical touch person that doesn't have a person, give them a hug, they need it more than most non-touch people understand.

2 weeks ago. February 13, 2024 at 5:45 PM

When the mood you're in doesn't match the circumstances to appease it.  

When you're in the mood to take out your frustrations on a willing woman. But not just any woman. Not all women can handle that kind of treatment. This sort of thing requires a special kind of woman.  

The kind of woman that can handle a truly merciless and remorseless throat fucking. That will lay with her head hanging over the edge and just take it. The kind of woman that isn't just able to handle the treatment, but enjoys it even.  

This wouldn't be a gentle event. It would be rough, forceful, and violent even. Repeatedly forcing the cock down her throat, not minding the gagging and choking. Even enjoying it. Starving her of the ability to breath as you use her throat as a fleshlight. Pushing all the way down regardless of how she struggles. Then at the last moment pulling out so she can swallow a huge gasp of air then have her mouth filled again.  

Using this woman's mouth for your own enjoyment and pleasure and release in any way you see fit. Make her gag and choke, smother her and make her show off her tongue skills, hold your had around her neck as you bottom out in her throat so you can feel it bulging. Then to finish up you fill her mouth, holding her all the way down and making her swallow everything she can.  

This is the kind of mood I find myself in. Unfortunately I'm also in a situation where there is not woman around that can appease it. 

The struggle is real.

2 weeks ago. February 12, 2024 at 3:58 PM

Isn't it odd how relationships and situations that were commonly accepted and encouraged 200 years ago are completely unacceptable now? And vice versa.

For example, a relationship with a close friends family member would have not only been regularly accepted, but also highly encouraged in the past. Now the attitude regularly seems to be "how dare you think my family member is attractive."

And the inverse, a couple hundred years ago having relationships with someone outside your religion or ethnic group was not only frowned upon, but was at times met with violence. Now it's not only common place, it's encouraged to embrace people of different backgrounds.

It's odd some things that used to be ok no longer are, and other things that used to be taboo are more than ok.

People and the world are weird.

2 weeks ago. February 11, 2024 at 11:23 PM

When the desire to do bad things is strong but there isn't a sub around to do them with.


The epitome of frustration.