A Secret to tell

There are days I wish I could just shut the world off. Even if it was only for a minute. Silence can be a good thing. Even in the darkest of time, silence can be found to have a comfort of sorts. I don't always understand the way the world works. I watch life as it happens around me. Sometimes I find myself in awe, sometimes in tears at the chaos, and sometimes I am silent in the beauty. 

              Today, I find myself just silent. My mind so overwhelmed that for a time I suppose it will just remain quiet. Undisturbed by the chaos around it. Though, why do I feel like I'm slowly losing my voice, the person that I am. My mind it's just quitting. Like we've reached the climax it's all downhill from here. In the background you can almost hear that lost innocence screaming for me to come back. Why is the world the way the that it is? Why do we go through all these trials, pains, heartbreaks.... Is it all defined for a few perfect moments or is there some bigger picture that I cannot yet, see?

I'm so confused, frustrated, and utterly alone in my views of the world and the joyful horror found in it. Brainwashed, is how I feel, Lost is where I am, and hope is something I barely see. Perhaps I am just tired perhaps not. I think someday the world will eventually shut off, or maybe it will be that I shut off from the world.

May God bless the road before you and soothe the past ones behind you. You are so loved and appreciated by me and many others. 

This song was recently released, and it is me 100% I can relate to it on such a personal level. The lyrics just touch deep, and I feel like maybe some of you on here can to so I'm sharing.

Rattling like a cage in the wind, who's bars have been gently loosened. Waiting silently, calmly, painfully. 

You are only too aware that loneliness is like a blanket of ice cold wind in the night. Some just a little colder than others.

How that misery howls in its cage ever fighting and yet never free. Alas maybe there is hope still to come.

Searching eyes and wondering minds. Whispered touches and false promises. Tried and true you fight again and again. Wondering if a warm embrace of gentle fire will ever be known, or if ashes of once burning fires will turn your own to stone.

Can heat and fire be remembered as time meanders by? Can the sun reignite what was once lost? Perhaps.... but it takes many a day of sun to thaw what winter has come and done.

But patience is often a kind Mistress with persistence not far behind you see. Slowly but surely those flames can begin to burn again. A steady feeding of nurturing, care, and sometimes being a little tight with the reins can indeed bring that stone to ash, that ash to flame, that flame to fire, and alas that fire to a burning blaze. Someday, that lost bit of soul will come home, and your fire will blaze brightly once more.

Somones Soulmate

So I have noticed that a lot of profiles say something like " what will make me happy and thus you happy, or what makes me happy makes you happy"

Ok I get it. That's an interesting kink to have, but just to be clear it is not MY kink. I do not see making the person I am in a dynamic with happy, to be happy. Granted I could get a smile or two out of it, and some satisfaction in knowing I was a good girl, and made them happy. But that is never ever going to keep me happy.

1. I need personal time. I like getting my nails done or doing them myself. I like dressing up or goofing off and acting childish. My inner child is bright and happy go lucky , being an adult all the time sucks.

2. I want what I want, not what anyone else wants. How would you feel if all you ever did was give and give and give? Nah I'm not about that life. I'm all about giving and receiving, sharing can be discussed on certain things. I'm not sharing my stuffies, footy pjs, or chicken nuggets.

3. Also I'm not a 24/7, I'm more let's have a nerf gun war because you pissed me off and then have a session of spanking and edging, and then end it with rough hot passionate pretend makeup sex, cause let's face it I can never stay mad for long.

4. I want fucking cuddles and kisses, and if I don't get them you will most likely hear about it, and then the brat will come out, and ,well, it can be a long road if it is made that way.

So you see, making someone else happy is nice and all but it's not all about them, it's an equal give and take or nothing for me. However, I would love to hear everyone else's ideas of happiness and what makes you happy about it. I love learning. So tell me are you a Give and take, a give only, a take only, and why?

I think the saddest thing I've read this week, is seeing the sentence, if you don't love you don't expect me to. 

How low can you get. If a woman/man/ non gender doesn't love themselves doesn't that beg the question why? If someone doesn't love themselves and their partner can't be bothered to help them learn to or to love them despite the fact that the other doesn't love themselves, then why are you even with them. 

I hate hate hate when people say things like that. Why? Because you never know what the hell a person has been through to put them in that state of mind. Like wtf is wrong with you that you can so easily cast judgment like that? 

A child does not start off hating themselves. They go through fear, judgement, and the bitter realities of this world, and sometimes abuse, to the point of beginning to hate themselves. 

 Did you ever stop to think that maybe a person hates themselves because unlike you they've never know a kind touch, or a different view that would teach them to love themselves otherwise. I'm not saying it's anyone's job to help someone love themselves. What I am saying is you cannot claim to love or have affection for someone you can't be bothered with. That is a cold hard truth a lot of people need to wake up and see. If you can't be bothered to help someone in desperate need to see thier own beauty and self worth then you just don't deserve to be a part of their life.

I want no part of someone who can stand to the side and cast judgement on someone based on thier own selfish ideas. It's why I hate this world so much. People can be so cruel and so blind. They judge before they even know. Maybe God gave me a soft heart and an open mind so I could see before I ever thought.

This world was not designed to tear people apart and into pieces. It wasn't made to make others feel fear, insecurity,  or heart ache.  No, only the fucking people in this world do that, and it makes me so sick to my stomache to see it.

Think before you speak, think before you act, and most definitely think before you write. Ugh.  No bestie, I don't need you to go beat up someone lol, I just read something that disgusted me, and got me riled up is all. 

She's searches high and low, oh how how it's goes. To and from,  from here to there, without ever any air. Never to find, never forgetting to seek. Oh how painful and bleak.

Though beauty fades , she is still the same. Through the weathering storms, and the nights and days. Alone, but hopeful, she remains.

Days turn to months and months to years and years turn to gray, all that was and is has begun to fade. Yet ever as the night shines in starlight, does she too find her hearts delight. As together they are free for all the world to see that what was meant to be will always be.

As time stands still, and the end draws near, you can almost hear that final sigh, that gentle cry. Eyes meeting eyes and hands entwined, their eyes meet one last time. When at last they meet again , they have only to find that true love wins everytime...

-SomonesSoulmate-

I don't think it bumped the other post so I'll just do this one just incase .

Ok bestie game on

1. I went to a spanko event with my mentor, and got spanked by other people while choosing my weapon of torture. I was spanked 3 times, once by my mentor who couldn't resist a make-out session in the middle of it in front of everyone.

This one is true, it was actually one of the best nights of my life and sooo much fun everyone was super awesome, open, and honest. I got to ask so many questions. Highly recommend going to an event at a club.

2. Only one man has ever gotten me to orgasm, it was when I tried to pull him up from going down on me and he grabbed my wrist slammed them down and held them in place while giving me a look of irrefutable command, before resuming and making me scream as I orgasmed

surprise surprise, this one is the truth. Only one man has ever made me orgasm. Which is kinda funny, I guess for me it's mostly mental. It's hard for me to orgasm on sensation and feel alone. I also need the mental aspect of it. However, I have gotten azingly good at faking it. Can't have egos dropping. Relationships are all about build and support. Let's just say when a man knows my mind, he's got it made.

3. I played out one of my fantasies of being blind folded waiting in a hotel room for a man I had been talking to for weeks. He knew what I looked like but I didn't know what he looked like. He did very naughty and delicious things to me all night. The next morning he was gone, I never got to see his face.

This one is the lie. I want to fufill this fantasy so bad, but it requires never seeing the Doms face. I would literally have to go in with only his voice and the information i had gathered during out time talking, but fuck me it would so be worth it, just thinking about this fantasy has me drooling 🥹🤤. Some day little vagina some day......

Tell me , can you spot the lie?

A challenge from my bestie that was cute and needed to be posted. Love you Bitch 😘 

1) what is your dream job & why. If you had your dream job where is your dream vacation spot?

My dream job is to be a motivational speaker as well as doing random acts of kindness and helping to fulfill peoples dreams. My dream vacation spot is the carribean ocean, ive always dreamed of seeing it in person.

2) If you could read one book for the rest of your life, what book and why?

Fuck me the Olivia Grant black light series, because one I can't choose just one and two it was soooo hot 🥵

Ok bestie game on

1. I went to a spanko event with my mentor, and got spanked by other people while choosing my weapon of torture. I was spanked 3 times, once by my mentor who couldn't resist a make-out session in the middle of it in front of everyone.

This one is true, it was actually one of the best nights of my life and sooo much fun everyone was super awesome, open, and honest.  I got to ask so many questions. Highly recommend going to an event at a club.

2. Only one man has ever gotten me to orgasm, it was when I tried to pull him up from going down on me and he grabbed my wrist slammed them down and held them in place while giving me a look of irrefutable command, before resuming and making me scream as I orgasmed

surprise surprise, this one is the truth. Only one man has ever made me orgasm. Which is kinda funny, I guess for me it's mostly mental. It's hard for me to orgasm on sensation and feel alone. I also need the mental aspect of it. However, I have gotten azingly good at faking it. Can't have egos dropping. Relationships are all about build and support.  Let's just say when a man knows my mind, he's got it made.

3. I played out one of my fantasies of being blind folded waiting in a hotel room for a man I had been talking to for weeks. He knew what I looked like but I didn't know what he looked like. He did very naughty and delicious things to me all night. The next morning he was gone, I never got to see his face.

This one is the lie. I want to fufill this fantasy so bad, but it requires never seeing the Doms face. I would literally have to go in with only his voice and the information i had gathered during out time talking, but fuck me it would so be worth it, just thinking about this fantasy has me drooling 🥹🤤. Some day little vagina some day......

Tell me , can you spot the lie?