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Saudade

"Memory of something with a desire for it." (Duarte Nunes de Leao)
4 days ago. Sat 17 Aug 2019 05:16:32 PM IDT

Desculpas de J. Heller… Apologies to J. Heller


'Just because you are paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you.' - J. Heller


Well, shit...I suppose that sheds a tad more light on WTF is going on. For all the effort I made in staying out of the fray and just keeping an eye out for any potential disasters headed my way, it seems as if there might be a near earth asteroid that NASA missed. I reckon we'll know soon enough though.


Really prefer not to be surprised in anything, I'm one of those party-poopers that would turn around and walk back out of the house if all my friends jumped out and yelled 'SURPRISE! Happy Birthday!' so happening upon a small tidbit of new info (well, new to me, anyway) answered some questions but rankled me at the same time. Not at liberty to discuss it in any detail here in the ol blogosphere but elected to make a firm statement of my position.


Dunno if it was a misunderstanding or a misrepresentation, but let me be clear in saying that I do not, and have not, blocked or reported anyone here. Yep, you heard that right, not even the one person you'd likely have bet money on me doing so with.


My philosophy has always been that if someone writes something that is distasteful to me, I'm pretty sure it's going to hackle the shit out of someone else and they will report and eventually it'll be removed. See, the way I look at it is that if someone writes something ugly I don't want it to remain indefinitely, but I do think it's good for enough members of the community to see it with their own two eyes so as to be able to refute the OP's apologists when the chorus of 'they wouldn't have said THAT' starts. I have removed confrontational comments made on my blog, but simply because I don't wish to have my blog removed and my voice silenced. I made the mistake of not adhering to the rules there to keep us safe and lost all my writings once and I prefer not to have it happen again because some yahoo decides to be rude or use my blog for their soapbox..


I also don't block because I'd rather always see the meteor approaching rather than feel the airburst when it enters the atmosphere. Thankfully being Switch and old has prevented me from being too inundated with the 'you will drop to your knees, call me Master, and send nudes NOW!' types, but the ones I do get I'm quite capable of sending on their way. No need to block. Besides, the really persistent ones just turn up with repeated alts anyway, whether they know that's against the rules or not.


As always though, no shade if you utilize the block and report strategy, we all have to do what works best for us individually.


So in summary, regardless of whatever version of the narrative you might have heard, Henna hasn't blocked or reported anyone. I did request more info from the admins at one point when I was a bit confused about who was who, but was summarily dismissed empty-handed and directed to contact law enforcement if I felt it was warranted. Obviously I did not. I have had no say into who has been banned for whatever reason. I spoke my piece, disappointingly not always adhering to the rules, at the time and I'm done with the matter now. Continuing it is futile, there will be no real winners, just more hurt feelings and ruined friendships. And all for what? What's the point?


Be well everyone and gonna try this again, it didn't hold as well as I would have liked the last time…

Namaste,

- Henna

 

 

2 weeks ago. Mon 05 Aug 2019 02:45:26 AM IDT

Mais colares...more collars...

 

Thought I might share a few more of my 'I'm kinky and I know it' collars, just for fun! 

 

 

Be well!

- Henna

3 weeks ago. Thu 01 Aug 2019 02:07:22 AM IDT

Anuncio de servizo publico...Public service announcement...

 

 

Damn, can't believe I had to come out from under my rock to share this incredibly important information. I mean really, can't believe I was the only one who heard what today's joyous occasion is! Per Wiki the holiday can also be observed on May 18. I propose we Cagers adopt both days! (Of course being a card carrying Hedonist, pretty much every day is at least 'an' orgasm day...hehehe...never have gotten the whole allure of that crazy denial bullshit! Bluck!)

 

Be well, and orgasm well and preferably repeatedly!

- Henna

1 month ago. Thu 18 Jul 2019 01:59:04 PM IDT

Wequeno Mercores... Widdle Wednesday…


Had the idea I was ready to interact again and as Life just frickin loves to do me, things went all kerflooey yesterday so I decided to sit on this blog and finish the one that became Trino de Lua. So here's Henna's contribution for Widdle Wednesday. Although I'm not really much of a little these are two of my favorite songs, they are both quite old but meaningful to me.


Someday we'll find that rainbow connection, the lovers, the dreamers, and me...


 

The greatest adventure is what lies ahead...


 

Be well (and little if you so choose!)

- Henna

1 month ago. Thu 18 Jul 2019 02:44:32 AM IDT

Trino da lua...Thunder moon...


Hi, I'm Henna, nice to make your acquaintance…


Always so many new folks popping in and I've been pretty quiet as of late so thought I'd just go ahead and introduce myself. I'm one of the sorta OGs in the Cage, I became a member at the end of 2017 but had stumbled in a couple months prior and lurked. I joined specifically because of two different people's blogs. Their words made me decide that this place was somewhere I could finally be Henna again after a long vanilla intermission. One of them came to be very special to me, as did his beautiful submissives, but sadly more was just not to be. I will treasure what we did share though, always. ♥️♥️♥️


It took me quite awhile before I was strong enough to share my own words publicly. Time, relationships, heartaches, and a truckload of growth before I started unpacking the Mt Washington sized pile of shit I carry with me. In those blogs I showed my demons, my hurt, my pain, most for the first time ever to anyone besides we that were there when they were incurred. I drug those little bastards out into the light of day and finally saw them for what they are. So much smaller, and less scary than I thought. Their power diminished, their hold on me broken.


I will always have the scars though, as evidenced by my end of February bout with insanity courtesy of a perfect storm of turmoil that I unfortunately deposited myself into. In my anger and confusion I wrote a few blogs and responses that didn't follow site rules. My entire blog was pulled, rightly so, by the administration. I managed to pull myself out of the horrible mental state I'd slid into with the help of some of my friends here. They virtually held my hand as I found my way back. One of them, a kind Dominant, sat with me, gently reminding me how to breathe.


Feeling completely out of control was bad enough, but having my words erased, my blogs, the ugly I'd laid bare, just...gone was incredibly painful. Thankfully I was allowed back, I sanitized everything I'd written, and republished most of my body of work. I talked quite a bit about the situation that had occurred, but only from my perspective, and within the rules. Writing helped heal me, yet again.


As seems to happen in Life (that bitch has one hell of a sense of humor), for as much as I hoped the turmoil was completely over, as many of you are aware, it sadly isn't. I get sorta comfortable, start feeling safe and interacting again, start to tentatively open back up, and then BAM! something pops up and freaks me out.


Have to admit, when I was panicked most recently, seeing the shadows from my past again transposed on and magnifying the current unpleasantness, I felt wholely vulnerable. I pulled back into my safe space, under my rock, removed my words, my pictures, my voice, nearly everything I'd shared, and hid. Thanks again to a few beautiful souls here and ones who were here but felt it necessary to leave that still maintain contact and also one sweet Monster, I'm peeking out again.


Each time I stumble now it's a little easier to shake off, to get up, to not automatically default to running. Well, not running too far, I'll probably always need the safety of my rock for short periods of self care. I'm slowly starting to interact again. I know I have trust issues and probably always will. I am repopulating Saudade again though...the lighter ones first, but hopefully the deeper ones soon. Like so many of the other hard won lessons I learned writing my blogs the first time, think I'm realizing just how I've allowed people and circumstances more power and importance than they are due. I'm going to try to remember that little factoid going forward.


As to the title, if you weren't masochistic enough to wade through the verbal vomitage upon the page (screen, dammit) that was my blog I'll give you the backstory...The vast majority of my blogs are titled in Galician, the tongue of a small autonomous region on the border of Spain and Portugal. Why, you ask? Mwahahaha…because I'm Henna, it's how I roll! 😁


Speaking of...I suppose I should explain the moniker again. It was in my profile but when I sliced and diced that (for the umpteenth time!) it fell to the cutting room floor. So, dis was the spiel…


Reasonably sure anyone familiar with anything I've written knows exactly who this is. That was kind of the point. Dinosaur because apparently that's my spirit animal, and Schrodingers (yes, there is supposed to be an umlaut, didn't bother trying to find the special character) because like the paradox, both alive and dead, or here and not here, concurrently. Reality only collapses into one or the other when the state is observed…. And I suppose measurement has been taken, I do appear to still be here. May well leave the new moniker in place though, its odd and I rather like it, but I probably will just use me normal nick in correspondence, much shorter…


So, you got the backstory of the moniker and the why of the title, finally...the why of the gosh darn blog entry in the first place…(hehehehe, Henna = Looonnng winded! Sorry? *Henna shrugs*)


Interestingly I'd never really gotten into astrology or anything like that...until coming here...I'm lookin at you...Queen of the Sub-Peeps….Anywho, the darn thing is usually dead nuts on, as is my sign profile, AND my numerology (thanks to the special Dominant cave dude that got me started on that...smh, but Henna blows kisses anyway 😘) and I just went all crazy and had my natal chart done...yeah, you guessed it...it's scary accurate. Damn. Anyway yesterday was the thunder (full) moon and a lunar eclipse (even though we norteamericanos didnt get to see it) and Refinery29 says this about it...


'...a powerful time for releasing; whether you need to let go of a habit, a relationship, or even the past, the energy is there to help you. The downside of this is that if you don't use this energy to transform what you've outgrown, you're likely to be confronted by drama, or find yourself caught up in obsessive and self-destructive thoughts, or projecting past hurts onto current situations.'


I've had enough of drama, obsessing, bad energy and past hurts. I'm going to listen to the Thunder Moon…


Be well all,

Henna

PostScript: Came back and tweaked this entry after a bit of bad news blindsided me and a lot of soul searching. Upside is I hadn't gotten around to fixing my profile so think I might leave that be for a bit. Feeling a little schizo with the 'i'm okay, I'm not okay' pattern currently in effect. I suppose in reality the final measurement must not have been taken yet... The paradox remains...

2 months ago. Tue 18 Jun 2019 03:33:33 PM IDT

Horoscopo...Horoscope (yes, that shoulda been a gimme, guessing you all figured out the translation on your own...)

 

As in, why the bloody HELL do I not regularly read and utilize the info in my horoscope...smh... stubborn Henna...

 

That's it, ya'll got away easy this one! 😘

 

Be well (and considering reading your horoscope today! 😜),

- Henna

2 months ago. Sun 16 Jun 2019 03:10:55 AM IDT

Un para os furries...One for the furries!


And other folks who have weirdo eclectic musical tastes like me! It's Ed Sheeran with Justin Beiber...wait, hold the boos...I realize he's a cocky, overhyped, and just in general little shit but he has put out some fun music, especially his collabs with other artists. Perfect for when Bizarro Henna makes an appearance! I'll warn you ahead of time, this has one earwormed me. (So obviously I had to share it... hehehehe, bad Henna!) Oh and btw I have a cameo in the totally goofy vid...check the 1:40 mark! 😁


 

Be well you whacky furry folks! 

- Henna

 

2 months ago. Sat 01 Jun 2019 10:40:55 PM IDT

Un mais....one more, for now....MWAHAHAHA...

 

 

 

Bottoms up friends!

- Henna

2 months ago. Sat 01 Jun 2019 07:42:47 PM IDT

Tema de hoxe....today's theme...

 

 

And the MOST IMPORTANT ONE!!!!

 

Anybody need a beverage? 😘

- Henna

2 months ago. Sat 01 Jun 2019 07:17:18 PM IDT

Advertiu...warned you...😁

 

 

 

Be well lovelies, let's party! 

- Henna