Tarotable Me

In a time when there are so many negative things happening to leave me with negative feelings, I have started an activity between my little, TheLittlePrincess and I. Maybe you would like to join us.

We text each other constantly throughout the day and talk by phone every night before bed. During all of that communication, we both tend to vent to one another. While it is good to be able to have someone you trust to vent to, much of what we vent about isn't really worth the negative energy. Focusing on the negative can cause us to have a less than desired outcome for our day overall. I know we can't fix that for all things, but for the dandruff of life (the inconvent but not life altering), I feel we can improve our outcomes.

When we are feeling like we want to verbalize (in word or writing) a negative (dandruff), we are going to think of something we like and randomly send a text. Today, she responded to my assignment, "my beanbag chair is comfy; does that count?" I responded. "Yes, it does." 

I told her that I know we both want the other to have a positive day, so ensuring that all non-essential comments be positive when possible would really help guide us to that outcome. The goal is to have a greater capacity to handle the truly negative things when they arise, though hopefully, infrequent.

So, she sent a message about the beautiful, dark, moody sky that she loves, and I shared my thanks for the rain because the trees and animals rely on it. Then later, a note about loving cheetos with a picture of the current snack and a return pic offering to trade some Goldish for some Cheetos--a fair trade. 

When we receive these random messages, we will know they are to protect against something negative we wanted to verbalize but didn't want to give oxygen to. Then we can respond likewise to send positive support in return. If we can be disciplined enough to choosing positive in the benign, I believe we can see a positive shift in our mental health and our life overall.

Life is heavy enough without adding benign negativity to the pile. Maybe we can recover some of the joy we've lost thought by thought.

And to those who are experiencing hell right now in whatever way that you are, connect with SOMEONE to talk about it. Those who are suffering in fear of the unknown, I send you peace and strength. My thoughts are with you and yours. 

Fuck yeah, it's FRIDAY!!

Make that Profane Friday.

I am seriously feeling the word FUCK today.

Hit me up with some profane comments and links to songs, memes or photos that will

FUCK ME UP

in all the best ways possible.

Click thru to view

And BOOM!

just like that i remember

how much you adored me

And now i see clearly

cause hindsight is 20/20

Oh how stupid

I was young 

and didn't know it

I didn't know that

one day I'd moan it

tears streamin' down my face

and hearing daddy say

one day it'll all be over

but the cryin'

oh fuck, he wasn't lyin'

and now Eminem

is rapping my life

as I sit and realize

just how much i've lost

so fucked up

gave up so much

g'damn what have i done

I don't know why, but I am feeling some serious anxiety today. I've used all of my tools, but they can't stop that anxious beating of my heart. 

So, right now I have Titanium on infinite repeat. It was in my soul, so I played it and Sia says...keep going...(she didn't really say that for anyone who just raised an eyebrow)...when it is playing, I feel better when it is playing.

Must be a day for it. My 'little' messaged me this morning (a daily thing for the past nearly 3 years) , but this morning wasn't Good morning. It was "Mama, I feel bad" GRRRRRR...I don't like it when something bothers her. I shift into protective Tiger  mode. She said it was bad anxiety. Maybe I am carrying it for her today or at least helping. We will get through it. So Sia is helping carry it...

Setting My Intention...

I am TITANIUM!! 

Edit: I think I get it. It is the beat of the song. It is out pacing the beat of my heart. I need more options. What songs have a driving beat? I'm going to start checking. This may end up being my anxious but gotta work playlist. 

I have found that certain events in life can destroy music for me. I had an awesome playlist, and it used to be life to me. But now, I just can't make myself listen to it. 

How about you? Do you have something that can be ruined by an undesired outcome of something? What is it, and were you ever able to reclaim it? If so, how?

I posted this over in Forums. Anyone interested in writing my prescription today?

I have a ton of work to finish today and need to keep my mind on it. I usually do that with music.

Help me by totally fucking up my music playlist. If it doesn't allow links here, you can just list the title and singer/group you want me to add, and I'll keep checking and adding to the list.

I will listen to your collectively prescribed tunes for me.

I'll even do a blog post later if the songs get interesting enough.

Ready, set, GO!

Kit's Challenge 10 Compliments to Yourself

Oh boy. I agree with all those before me. This is going to be tough.

1. Great Mother

I became a mother late in life. I have broken all of the disappointment behaviors of the adults from my childhood by never promising anything I can't or won't do/give. He knows he can trust me. My word means something. I never miss a day of telling and showing him how much I love him.  

2. Forgiving

Though it may impact the trajectory of a relationship, I am forgiving when someone hurts me.

3. Thoughtful/Caring

To a fault, I consider of the feelings of others over myself. I care how my actions impact other people. This came from and is strengthened by #4 after many of life's lessons.

4. Good Student

I love to learn, and I find lessons everywhere in life, in love, in fun, in heartache and pain, I try my best to use every opportunity to be a better person. I'm totally not perfect (and am overly aware of that fact), which does give me plenty of room to learn and grow.

5. Responsible

I take care of things given or entrusted to me.

6. Good Teacher

I am good at breaking down concepts into more digestible points. I can help people see through the abstract that exists in life.

7. Creative

I see opportunities for art in everything. I am a good writer (suck at texting tho 😆). 

8. I am accepting of all ethnic groups and races of people. I see the beauty in the culture of others. I respect the experience others have had in life. I LOVE to learn lessons from other groups to be a better human. YouTube is totally confused on who I am lol. 

9. I am ethical. Though I haven't always made ethical choices in my past, through #4, I have grown to be a highly ethical person in relationships and life on general.

10. I never give up in life (though I have to admit to coming dangerously close last year). I am the person in the end of the movie who has basically been beaten and abused by life, people, etc and is dragging themselves along into the sunset--still going, telling jokes and laughing (sarcastically and sometimes cynically) into the sunset. There will ALWAYS be a sequel (until the story ends). The sequel will ALWAYS be better than the former. I will keep trying no matter how many times I fail or fall. It doesn't mean I won't be triggered, cry and even consider stopping, but I won't. Thus, the reason I am back in The Cage. Trying again.  A sequel--new name--new perspective--new me.

Kit, this was tough! It took me longer to write this than most blog posts. I would excel at a "Share all the things you could do better" challenge lol. Thank you for the challenge to change my perspective, at least for a moment.

There is always a message in the songs/lyrics I share. 

Players gonna play.

Fakers gonna fake.

I'm just gonna shake it off.

I am grateful for people who share their experiences and cast light to help us see our way out of the void. 

This video really spoke to me today. Perhaps it will bring hope to someone else. The title is what I feel it can help do. It isn't actually the title of the video. If you choose to watch it, I suggest hanging in until the end. Open your mind. Dismiss your objections. For the duration of the video, forget all that you've been programmed to believe. Try to embody the peace he attempts to describe. I want that peace.

Today's reading comes from: (see cards, deck info and reading text in profile photos)

DECK: Happy Tarot

AUTHOR/ILLUSTRATOR: Serena Ficca

PUBLISHER: Lo Scarabeo

I didn't realize just how much I LOVE this deck. I asked the initial question, then pulled subsequent cards as clarifying cards for a question that came from the previous reading. 

This particular reading was important to me in my  journey. You can use the questions similarly and trust your intuition to provide you an answer for what you are questioning what you should proceed with.

I will start listing the cards in my blog also, so if someone runs across the blog post after the cards have changed on my profile, they can know which cards were pulled. Added note: I added the guidance for each card on this reading because the photos on our profiles rotate which doesn't give the reader time to read the text. I won't always do this. At least not at this point. If there are enough people interested in the readings, then I'll consider becoming a premium member and will post them on my blog here. So, we'll see how it goes.  

Initial question: Should I proceed with _______? 

The Sun

Everything is going well, and it's going to get even better. Your hopes and dreams are growing like sunflowers. Cast all your worries to the wind and rejoice. You can find happiness by being grateful for all your blessings.

Question: What is going to get even better?

9 of Cups

Anything you wish for now can come true. But you must believe in your vision of happiness to bring it into manifestation. Dream big! You can find happiness by visualizing your bliss.

Question: Provide clarity on vision.

Strength

Even the most ferocious foes can be turned into friends. Offer trust and love to receive love and trust in return. You can find happiness by taming your emotions.

Question: Give clarity on emotions to tame.

5 of Cups

Don't cry over what you don't have anymore; it wasn't really meant for you. Look what you have left, which is much sweeter and truly yours. You can find happiness by getting over what you've lost.

Question: How do I learn to trust and love myself and others?

King of Pentacles

A person who is jovial and generous with his time and resources. This is a good person to turn to when you need practical help or money. You can find happiness by giving and receiving fatherly advice.

Peace and love to you all.