Dirty Pretty Things

I've been so angry the past few days about a situation with a friend but instead of it getting better, it feels like I'm simmering and going to boil over. 

A longtime friend of mine  (6 or 7 years) asked me to send him a topless pic so that he can forget about another girls tits that he had been sexting with. Cuz poor him, he can't get them out of his head and it's really bothering him. And he's sorry to ask (clearly he's fucking not sorry) but it's all he can think of. 

Ummmmmmmm. What the flying fuck. 

This isn't my problem.

Go look at porn for all I fucking care.

To add context, this guy is married. To another friend of mine. He consistently makes unwanted sexual comments to me. I've told him I'm not interested. I'm not comfortable with it. I don't want it. I'm not okay with it. He will apologize, say he's so lonely, be good for a few days then back to same old shit. He wants to fuck me. I don't want to fuck him. He equates loneliness to sexual satisfaction. Meaning he thinks that if he's sexually satisfied then he won't be lonely anymore. To me that's 2 seperate issues. 

But back to my rant, I'm actually getting angrier every day that he had the balls and disrespect to ask me that. I cannot even speak to him. We used to game together, but I cannot stand him right now. 

*Breathe*

I've been feeling so jaded and cynical and that makes me feel guilty. For months now. I'm in my introspective era I guess. I wonder if I'm becoming an introvert. And then I feel like that's a bad word.

I stopped talking to some acquaintances/friends/contacts because I was too drained to go on. I'm probably a pretty bad friend. But I need to put myself first. Or maybe I'm just hiding. Maybe it all depends on the day.

There was even a suicidal friend, well maybe it was just dramatics but I can't deal with it. And it's not my responsibility to deal with it. I'm truly sorry but I can't handle other people's problems on top of my own. That crossed a line and I cut off communication. I'm not anyone's quick fix or remedy. I can't be responsible for others and I don't want to be. Hell, I don't even want my own responsibilities.

I wonder why I'm still here when I rarely speak to anyone at all. I often feel like I don't belong here and I don't have the energy to be here anymore Sometimes it feels like I've lost my voice. But it's my choice. It's a lot of the same old bullshit.  There's times that I realize I don't need to explain myself and it's okay if I can't. Sometimes the best response is no response.

I've improved at being cautious of whom I give my time and energy to. I really don't have to save or help anyone. Friendship has to be reciprocal. I am so tired of disingenuous and manipulative people both on here and in day to day life.  

I think we may lose power from a snow squall. The lights are flickering. Stay warm. ?

I need a pancake dress in my life. That is all. 

It's Sunday night and to be honest I need a pick me up,something fun, something to make me smile.

Its been awhile since we broke the internet with my last challenge so let's try it again.  Remember the "Define Me In 1 Word" challenge ?

Minxys Challenge ~ 1) Post a voice note saying your username and where you are from. 2) And then add a cheesy/silly pickup line. Or something you are comfortable saying ?. 3) Don't forget to copy & paste this so it gains momentum and  everyone joins in!  

I love hearing different voices and accents ?

If you can't leave a voice note, there's free and easy options on the internet like Vocaroo. ;)

When you want to write but you can't find the words.

When you just want someone to understand how you feel. 

When you wish closure was easier.  But sometimes no response is a response.

When today's an emotional day and I know that's just silly but it just hurts. 

I'm thinking of going back to the name Minx. What do you think?

??

Okay there seems to be a lot of new Doms on the site. 

And sometimes I'm speechless at the messages I get. Mindblown!

So here we go:

It's okay to be inexperienced.

Its not okay to lie or misrepresent your experience. Everyone has to learn & everyone can improve.

It's okay to be here for just kinks, kinky play or kinky sex. Just say so!

It's not okay to just pretend you want a dynamic or the whole lifestyle and fuck with people's feelings.

And a bit more specific.....It's okay to want a harem of subs but if you don't know what the hell you are talking about or doing then say so.

It's okay to be unsure of what you like/desire and try out different things.

It's not okay to be a submissive male pretending to be a Dom. You aren't a Dom cuz you say so. 

Its not okay to ask me to message Dommes that have blocked you!!

It's also not okay to attempt to manipulate me into giving you orders and tasks. Being submissive does not mean Im dumb and you're intelligent. I may "out-Dom" you but doesn't mean I want to Domme you. I don't give a flying fuck if you lock yourself in a chastity cage for me. 

Ugh. 

How are you enjoying this summer day? I have burgers on the grill,  and beef ribs on the smoker for dinner. And I had a water balloon fight. ?

I believe that sometimes being open-minded is the key to happiness. It's about your willingness and effort to explore things outside your normal. I've always believed you should be willing to try new things, even if it is something you didn't consider before. This can apply to people, bdsm, food  romance or whatever!

Just give it a chance.

So go on and try a threesome or the rocky mountain oysters at dinner!

Bonus points if you know what that is ;)

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As for me, I'm happy right now. I feel hopeful, blissful and peaceful. I've been exploring something special and the days have been treasured moments.  I've also been living at the lake for a couple weeks now. I've postponed the job hunt for a bit to enjoy summer and just get back to feeling like myself. Being laid off after years with the same company was shocking and left me feeling adrift.

Nature and being outdoors is my thing.  Hearing the rain on the camper roof,  outdoor movie nights on the big screen projector,  fishing for walleye and frying them up with Cajun spice late at night, jeĺlnga tournaments,  outdoor showers,  afternoons at the beach, baking in the sun,  tie dye parties, carnivals, line-dancing, bonfires, I could go on and on. I'm going home tomorrow for a few days to do adult stuff like mow the lawn, check the mail, and pay bills. But then I think I'm coming back up to the lake. The hammock under shady trees is calling my name.

June is PTSD Awareness month. So a shout out to everyone that knows the struggle. I feel you. I see you. And you're doing great!

I have had PTSD for about 8 years now.  If I hear voices raised in anger, I still panic.  If I hear a loud sound, my heart starts racing. Big, shiny knives make me freeze.  Hyper vigilance is a real bitch. And the night terrors don't ever seem to go away.

PTSD isn't talked about as much as it should be. It affects so many people in a lot of different ways.  I've met a lot of people here on the cage that have PTSD.

You're not alone. Don't give up.  You're not strange or broken.  

We're just a little different ♡.

It's been awhile since I've written or really been active on here. I hope everyone is doing well.

I had too much to say and no way to say it. But as always, time marches on & the waves settle. Things become clearer in a positive way. 

I had a birthday and thought alot about the past year and what I want next year to be like.  Probably normal birthday type thoughts.  

The weather's getting warmer every day and the lake v is calling my name.  I can't wait. 

When I need you the most,  is when I'll probably push you away. 

When I need a friend the most,  is when I'll probably get quiet and hide away. 

When I'm hurting the most,  is when I'll probably be the fakest happy me that you'll ever see.

When I'm breaking inside, you'll probably never know

But what if there's no probably about it.

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So emotional,  I  know  it's not a good look. Life's been heavy lately.  For a few weeks now. And I'm just ready for a change. "Be the change" is not as simple as it sounds. 

It snowed today. I know, what the fuck. That sums up everything. 

Sending blessings and love, miracles and kindness, sunshine and umbrellas to all who need them the most. ♡