Pervana

Sweet Pain,
Can't you plainly see?
Sweet Pain,
You know it matters to me,
Sweet Pain,
Won't you make me feel at home?
Sweet Pain,
Don't you dare leave me alone...

Sweet Pain,
Is it so terribly wrong?
Sweet Pain,
To want to come along,
Sweet Pain,
Won't you make me smile?
Sweet Pain,
If only for a while...

Sweet Pain,
It's sometimes what you need,
Sweet Pain,
It allows the blood to bleed,
Sweet Pain,
From the moment of your birth,
Sweet Pain,
You know it keeps you here on Earth...

(Borrowed from a friend of Mine with permission)

I see it all the time. Screenshots, comments, unsolicited dic pics. The recipient always questions the motive. Why? Why would you say something like that to me? What makes you think I wanted to see that? Did you not read my profile? Ewww!

Let me explain with a little story.

His name was Nick. That’s his real name, but I knew him fifty years ago, so I think it’s okay. He was a few years older than me, not someone whom I would call a friend, but a friend of a friend, and someone I would party with. Someone who could buy liquor, or would have better drugs than I did, ( hey, we’re talking the 70’s here ) He got me into some serious parties in SF, I’d get him into high school parties on the weekends.

To give you an idea of what he looked like, picture David Crosby, (Google) to a fucken T. Don’t laugh, but back then I thought I was the shit! Way better looking than that fuck! But, here’s the thing. He got way more pussy than I did.

Why?

Nick didn’t give a fuck!

He’d go into a party and pull his cock out, walk around and tell women, “Hi, I’m Nick.” “Shake hands with little Nick!” Then look down. He’d walk up to random women anywhere and ask them if they wanted to fuck. Parties, bars, parks, sidewalks, anywhere! He didn’t give a fuck. Slaps to the face? Hundreds. Drinks thrown to the face? Hundreds. Objects thrown at him? Hundreds. How could he take all that rejection? Nick. Didn’t. Give. A. Fuck.

Why do you do it Nick? Why do you take all that rejection? Why are you so crass?

Why? “Because every now and then, one of them says yes!”

Kink is full of Nicks.

Now show me your tits

A fall day
A tall tree
A strong wind
Some leaves fall
A soft breeze
One leaf falls
A sole leaf
Falling, falling, alone
It reaches earth
Once again
Among friends

Something I posted on another site a while ago...  taken from a friend (@Clark-Kent)

If I like you, and if we clique and connect, I'm going to miss you. I'm going to text you "good morning" and "sweet dreams." You're going to cross my mind during the day, and when I think of you, I'm going to tell you.

But I'm only going to do so for as long as I'm welcome. I understand that poly can be a lot to take in. Talk to me about it. Ask questions. But when I'm being sweet and perhaps sappy, if that's met with doubt, I'm eventually going to stop. When I say something sweet and it's met with doubt because I have other relationships, that isn't going to encourage me to continue. There's a fine line between asking if I mean it because you want assurance and insisting that I simply can't mean it or don't mean what I say because I see other people. Maintaining that I'm insincere because I have other relationships- it feels like being called a liar.

If I say things to remind you that you're beautiful and wanted, it's because I think you're beautiful, and I want you. There's no hidden meaning. No subtext. I say what I mean and mean what I say.

Do I say the similar things to other women in my life? Of course. I'm not pasting the same message over and over. But I say what I feel, when I feel it.

But imagine if I didn't tell my wife and submissive that I miss them and remind them why I care about them because I miss you and am interested in you. If I were sweet to them until someone else came along, then that would be the pinnacle of insincerity.

I know it can be hard to trust. Sometimes we wonder if someone is going to be interested for only so long and then lose interest. It's good to be cautious, but if you're convinced that's what's going to happen, it probably will. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy with not just me but others as well. Because when you insist that's who I am, I no longer feel welcome. It pushes people away. I've heard this a lot, from a lot of people: "It's just what I've come to expect because it's what always happens." If it's always what happens, it could be, in part, because it's what you've grown to expect. I'm not saying every time. But if you expect something strongly every time, it's going to happen.

I'm poly. I used to think there was something wrong with me. I sometimes still do. I love who I love, but that love doesn't create any roadblock in my mind or heart to being drawn to someone else. That's how I am. It's not going to change. I'm not for everyone. I get it. I understand. And if it's not for you, I'm okay with that. But know that I mean what I say. I'm not poly because my other relationships are unfulfilling. Being poly and sweet to others doesn't mean I'm insincere.

Bravo @Clark_Kent_ very well said indeed. :-)

A boy while walking one day came across an old man building a great bridge across a deep valley. When the boy asked the old man why he was building the bridge the old man replied:

"Son I am the seeker of knowledge and on the other side of this valley is a vast land of knowledge."

The boy then asked:

"Wouldn't it be easier to climb into the valley then up to the land of knowledge?"

The old man answered:

"Many have tried that path never to return. It is a twisted path, one with many evils. I started this bridge knowing I would never see its end."

The boy questioned:

"So why did you start to build?"

The old man answered:

"I knew one day you would come along and continue the building for you too are a seeker of knowledge."

The old man died and the boy did continue to build. While building the boy realized that the bridge would never be completed but it was a bridge that must be built.

"Yes my son, I was that boy now an old man and yes you too are a seeker of knowledge. It will be you that takes my place when my time comes."

If you have a Combat Veteran in your family and you don’t like their moods and behavior around the holidays; please consider these six things:

1.) Your combat veteran has served in countries where people are blessed to receive a tattered pair of shoes or have clean water to drink; he/she no longer lives the “first world illusion” and no longer cares that if you buy one play station you can get a second one for fifty percent off. In fact, they find it hard to appreciate any of the gluttonous commercialism and overindulgence that permeates American holidays. Standing watch, boring as it was, had so much more purpose than going to the mall.

2.) Your Combat Veteran is thankful for the most basic things; not thankful for mega-sales and million dollar parades. They are thankful to be alive; thankful to have survived both the wars far away and the wars they struggle with inside.

3.) Your Combat Veteran is thankful that it wasn't them that got killed, but their celebrations are forever complicated by guilt and loss over those that were. Some of the most thankful times in their life were some of the scariest. Their feelings of thanks and celebration often conjure memories that are equally painful.

4.) Your Combat Veteran is not like you anymore. At some point, for some period of time, their entire life boiled down to just three simple things: when will I eat today, when will I sleep today, and who will I have to kill or will try to kill me today? They are not like you anymore.

5.) Your Combat Veteran does not need a guilt-trip or a lecture; they already feel detached in their grief while others so easily embrace the joy of the season. They need understanding and space; empathy not sympathy.

6.) Your Combat Veteran does love his/her family and is thankful for the many blessings in their life…and they are thankful for you.

To all my brothers and sisters of the uniform, know that we all struggle with one thing or another but as we go into this holiday season, reach out to those you love. You didn't fight alone on the battlefield and we don't have to fight alone at home.

I find that at times I have this beast within Me. A Wiccan I once dated called it the "Horned Beast" and described "fire" in my eyes. Recently a lovely sub who I was providing mentorship to said she saw "red" in My eyes. I often feel like "Dexter" who speaks of a "Dark Passenger" within.

Who is this animal within Me? I know it when I feel it stir... Not let out unless I feel so much trust with the one I am with, the Animal within. I often find even in casual play that I am "scenting" My partner ensuring My smell lingers on. Once released I am not Myself yet possessed by this "thing" within.

Biting is key, the marking of My conquest. A growl in the ear, teeth about the neck, hands squeezing the neck or wrists... control gained, My pray relaxed in My grip. The Animal released. The pray owned, conquered and taken.

But who or what is this Animal within Me? I only know I find true peace once it is set free so I seek those whom I can trust to let it out. Those who allow it, love it and service that need.

Who wishes to help Me find peace? Who fears not the Animal yet welcomes it's appearance? I seek you... the Animal needs to feed to survive or it will kill Me from within. Find Me to find the Animal. Solve our needs together...

The Animal released, this "Horned Beast", this "Dark Passenger"..... It seems to have a life of it's own yet We are One. So what is this Animal Within Me?

Well it is that time of year where we celebrate Thanksgiving. I want to take a moment and outline what it is I am thankful for. So much of My life I just moved forward, always forward without really taking the time to understand where I am in in the moment.

I am most thankful to My lamb for allowing Me space to slow down and discover "ME". For all those who have passed into My life... thank you for all the love and gifts of friendship offered. Thank you for those who passed out of My life as well. I am regretful of any pain, loss or resentment I may have caused you but I am thankful for the lessons I learned along the way.

And I am thankful to be alive, to be happy and to have a growing poly family. I hope to catch up with those I have lost touch with, create new friendships and find a nice sub/slave to join our polycule moving forward.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

The House of Pervana is a place of safe, sane and informed consensual discovery and fun. I created Pervana with a goal of having a place that is drama free and that anyone could come and feel comfortable in their kink/fetish. The House grewn very popular over the years and it fills Me with pride to see everyone come and enjoy themselves in this environment. I am really honored to know everyone who has supported us over the years here.

House of Pervana was started as a place for people to come and enjoy themselves in a safe, sane and consensual environment. As Master of the House I wanted nothing more than to provide a place for others to enjoy a sense of freedom to explore without judgement.

We started having parties monthly and continued to do so for over 5 years. I wanted to have a place that was Mine that I could share with the community as a whole. I was fortunate to meet fellow Kinksters and enjoy their company. Lots of lasting relationships have grown from these events.

We want to thank the Pervana family and those who support us. We are not gone but we are taking stock of what is really important and look forward to seeing everyone again soon.

This will be My online corner for Pervana so everyone can come and see what is new, what is next and read about the journey!