The Lord's Realm

She doesn’t want to hear those words flippantly tossed around, void of meaning.

She doesn’t yearn for hollow praise or shallow attempts to manipulate her emotions.

It's not the sweet nothings whispered from a stranger she desires.

She craves those words from the One who commands her attention.

The One who holds her heart in His hands, the one she is devoted to.

When He calls her His good girl it sends a shiver down her spine because it's not just a phrase.

It's a validation of her deepest desires to be His, utterly and completely owned.

In that moment, she feels His pride, His approval, His unwavering affection.

It's a powerful affirmation that she is cherished, valued, and truly seen.

Those words are a salve to her soul, wrapping her in a comforting, intimate embrace that only He can provide.

It's a passionate kiss that ignites every fibre of her being.

But it’s more than just words.

It’s a symbol of her submission, her dedication, and her place in His world.

It must be genuine, dripping with truth and sincerity, spoken by the One she honours above all others.

Anything less is empty, and she deserves more.

She deserves to be His good girl, and when she hears it from Him, it means everything to her. 

The way He enticed her to crave so many dark things. The way He made her not only willing, but honestly wanting to do things that she swore she would never do. Things that made her apprehensive and scared her, but that fear also turned her on. More than she ever would have imagined.

The way He made her lay her body, mind and soul before Him and offer them to Him to use in any way He wanted. His hands on her, turning her instantly into a needy, dripping wet slutty mess.

His fingers exploring deep inside her pussy... making the angel in her disappear, and the dirty little slut in her scream for more. Introducing her to His realm of darkness, filled with sexual desires that she had only fantasized about exploring previously. Desires that were hidden from everyone, even herself.

Desires that lingered in the dark shadows, but that had always been just out of reach to her. Desires so deep & dark within her, but He was able to recognise them without her ever needing to disclose them.

Desires that he accepted and enjoyed. Dark desires that he coaxed from her soul, brought them to the surface, and then fed them.

The way he reached inside her, recognised the darkness and hunger that rose from within her. Recognised her need to be stripped bare from the inside out, all of her beliefs and preconceived notions flipped over on their heads, over and over, and then each was replaced with a truth, again and again.

The way she needed to be taken. The way she craved to be used. The way she wanted to be taken apart by Him. Completely disassembled. And then piece by piece, reassembled to His particular specifications.

She offered Him her all, and her everything. To use her as He saw fit. He brought darkness to her world and smiled as He watched her drop to her knees and beg Him to drag her screaming into His world of pain and ecstasy. 

She was now His completely. His to use in the most beautifully brutal ways that only He could dream up…

We all suffer from self doubt at times. It is part of being human and an emotionally driven being.

We grow up in a world of social conditioning that doesn’t care about the impact of negativity.

A world where perfection is marketed, yet that level of perfection is also unattainable for 99.9% of us without photoshop or plastic surgery.

Learn to embrace your flaws and your imperfections.

Accept those self perceived flaws and, instead of allowing them to give you a negative self-image, love them, and then you can learn to love yourself.

Only when you have learned to accept and love yourself, can you allow another human to completely love you.

You are beautiful as you are.

Flaws, lines and scars are what create your character.

As are experiences and interactions throughout your life, whether negative or positive.

You wouldn’t be the human you are today, without those experiences.

Look in the mirror and see through the eyes of others.

See why they find you attractive, sexy, beautiful and all of the things you sometimes simply don’t feel or see.

You are beautiful.

Just as you are.

Accept it.

Love who you are and in turn, allow others to love you.

Forgive yourself.

We are all works in progress.

We have all made mistakes.

Absolve yourself for your sins.

Allow yourself to move past your mistakes.

Let go of the anchors that bind you to your past.

Forgive yourself for loving those that have bestowed toxicity onto and into your world, who have hurt you when pretending to love you, and especially those that have tried to drown you.

They have taught you the most important lessons in your life.

They have taught you what, and who, you will never again accept in your world.

They have taught you, albeit through some shockingly hurtful lessons, how to endure and eventually overcome pain, anguish and anxiety.

They have taught you that your self doubt, self loathing and self hatred isn’t because of your own failures, but the failure of them to make you feel accepted, safe, protected and loved.

They have taught you to understand and comprehend that you deserve so much more.

They have taught you how to move forward and search for the beauty of positivity and to discard the negativity.

Forgive yourself…

Help her see her own beauty, the way you see it. Let her know that her scars, imperfections, and flaws are not just a part of her. They make her uniquely stunning. She's a masterpiece of nature, an individual unlike any other, captivating in her uniqueness.
When you look at her, you're struck by her beauty, a gentle, natural, raw beauty. It's the kind of beauty that keeps your gaze fixed, lost in admiration without even realizing it, until you find yourself smiling without knowing why.
But she doesn't see herself through the same lens. Sometimes, she feels defeated by her reflection, focusing on what she perceives as brokenness and flaws, leading her to harsh self-criticism.
She sees her imperfections not as the beautiful stories of her life that you cherish, but as blemishes marring her self-image. Despite appearing strong, she can be her own harshest critic, influenced by the unrealistic standards set by society, the media, and the fashion industry.
She might scrutinize the natural signs of living. The laugh lines, the occasional blemishes, through a lens of judgment, not realizing that these are the very aspects of her beauty that you find mesmerizing and beautiful.
Her self-judgment can stem from various sources, perhaps a comment from the past or societal pressures convincing her she doesn't measure up. As she ages, she might worry about losing her beauty, not understanding that with time, she only grows more beautiful to you. Age brings wisdom, grace, and an inner beauty that only enhances her appeal.
She may always be critical of herself, but it's crucial for her to realize how beautiful she is to you. Show her, tell her, and remind her of her beauty, not just in fleeting moments but consistently, so she can start to see herself through your eyes

D/s is a beautiful dynamic shared between two or more humans.

Commands, manhandling, physical or psychological play and sexual gratification (if you choose to have sexual interaction as part of your D/s), is part of the end game of building a connection, once established.

Where it begins is with trust.

Trust that must be earned. Not just by the D-type or left side of the slash, but by the s-type and right side of the slash also.

To build trust, requires vulnerability. To be vulnerable, requires enormous trust. From both parties. To each other. With each other.

As humans, we build up defences over a lifetime of less than desirable experiences, trauma events, toxic actions of others, and so many additional negative or non-positive experiences that add to the need for defences.

These defences are constructed over a lifetime, layer by layer, to shield our insecurities and to guard our softest parts from the debilitating harshness of the world we exist in.

These defences are not just merely walls. They are akin to a fortress of solitude, holding at bay the doubts and fears that are whispered in the shadows and come to us in our dreams, that become rampant nightmares.Our brains do amazing jobs of self defence.

Firstly by building barriers.

Secondly by repressing memories of things too hard to deal with.

Thirdly by teaching us what we will no longer accept from others.

To build trust and to be vulnerable with another human, is often hard. Sometimes it even feels impossible. However when you find the human(s) that you can accomplish that amazing level of connection with, you can once again learn to live and love, rather than just exist and deflect.

Trust and vulnerability is where it begins. 

Some of the hardest things to do in this world when you have been hurt, but rewarding beyond description, when you discover the human(s) that allow this to occur with you. 

Her resilience lies in her grace of yielding. Never mistake her willingness to yield as a sign of inherent weakness.

She's traveled through hell, armed with lessons from the toughest experiences life has thrown her way.
She's learned to survive, to cherish love, and to guard herself completely.

Viewing her as weak, defenceless, or an easy target would be a grave misunderstanding.

When she faces adversity with a smile, that's your cue to recognize and perhaps even fear, the formidable, exquisite force she truly is, yet keeps hidden from the outside world.

Yes, she chooses submission. But it's not born out of weakness or a sense of inferiority. Instead it is a demonstration of a strength that she has below the surface.

Her submission isn't a response to demands from those domineering, arrogant or aggressive men that call themselves Doms.

It's a choice made from a position of power, her power, where trust and mutual respect are paramount.

For power is never just given or taken, it is exchanged, hence the term Power Exchange. It flows both ways, in different forms, and at different times.

She chooses to submit as an act of love, entrusting herself to someone who values her entirety and has earned her respect and admiration.

Her submission is an expression of her strength, not a surrender of it.

When you witness her in this light, you see not just the grace with which she navigates her relationships, but also the unwavering strength and courage that ultimately define her.

Where most of us involved in relationships, friendships, situation-ships or families go wrong, is they expect, instead of accept.

It should never be about automatically expecting something from another human because of your own personal biased beliefs. It’s about accepting things in an unconditional format and supporting others in their choices and beliefs.

And if others such as our family members, our colleagues, our friends or even our lovers, cannot accept us for our choices, we should never be expected to accept their condemnation, judgement, narrow minded views, bias and personal projection that they place on us…

I tend to follow the "it is what it is" life philosophy, at least for the most part. It simplifies things that people tend to over complicate.

Very recently I had a submissive in training and after a few weeks and several mistakes on her part, each time I sat her down and discussed it. Why did it happen? What can we do to make it not happen again? Etc. If it was severe enough, I handed out a mild punishment, which she accepted and completed as directed.

Okay problem solved, and we moved on. But she was having a hard time understanding Me. I was not like other Doms that she had interacted with in the past.

she asked, "Why was I not overly critical? And why was I not shouting? How could I just be so calm? I keep messing up, don't you ever get tired of It and just want to leave?" Those types of things, so I attempted to answer her questions by explaining this concept to her.

I have very basic expectations, and those expectations are conditional. For a simple example: if I am meeting a woman simply for sex... then my only expectation is that they are actually a woman. If she doesn't show up, "it is what it is." if she shows up and doesn't want to fuck, "it is what it is." If she wants to fuck for 5 minutes, it is what it is. If she wants to fuck all night and into the next day, it is what it is.

BUT... if she isn't a woman and is a male instead, or a child, or anything else that is not conducive to being a woman, then the entire idea was a lie to begin with which goes against the expectation that I had. Therefore, I would leave, obviously. Eventually it gets to the point of "it is what it is," but there was a basic expectation that was not met, so the disappointment and hurt would get in the way of the acceptance for a bit.

This way of thinking makes me much more accepting of many things. Meeting new friends, playing new games, watching movies, exploring new places, exploring new people... I have very few expectations (everyone has an expectation of something), but I do My level best to accept the world for the most part and enjoy things for what they are.

A basic day to day expectation that I have... is that I wake up. I expect to wake up every time I go to sleep. I don't expect to have good dreams (I rarely do), I don't expect to dream at all, I don't expect to be pain-free when I wake up, I don't expect to even sleep much at all. I can be pleasantly surprised, of course. I like to be pleasantly surprised haha! 

So to come back to my trainee...

My basic expectations when I begin with a new trainee are simply that they will treat Me with respect, listen and follow directions to the best of their ability, speak up and ask for clarification if I am not making My directions understood, continue giving their best effort in anything I ask of them, and if at any time they feel like what we're doing is not something they would like to continue doing, that's no problem.We can discontinue, but first we need to sit down and talk about it like the mature adults we are, instead of just ghosting. Because If a sub in My care just disappears on Me, I'm not going to drop them or stop looking for them until I know they're safe & okay. Because that's my responsibility that I take on when I accept them as a submissive. Simply talk about anything so I understand. 

Notice how all of those expectations are based on respect, attitude, communication, things that anybody can do successfully with effort.

None of those expectations are based on something that a sub could be unsuccessful doing because of a physical limitation, or even a mental or emotional limitation to be honest. 

I accept people for who they were before me, who they are with me, and who they will be after me. With those few conditional expectations of course. 

And that allows me to be pleasantly surprised each and every time they exceed My very basic expectations. 

Some helpful tips for new Dominants... Part 4

 16. Try to figure out what type of Dominant you want to be and work towards that... 

As mentioned previously, there are many types of Dominants. What type you will be will be up to you and only you. You may already know, or it may take you a while to figure it out. But when you find a style that fits, run with it. Endeavor to be the best you can be at your chosen style by learning as much as you can about that particular style, infusing your own mojo along with it. And don’t be afraid to switch gears when you feel like its not working for you. After all, this is your journey and your path. You are the one who is ultimately responsible for it.

 17. Switches are not confused... 

This is an old adage. Switches are no more confused than bisexuals are. If you can accept the notion of a bisexual person, someone who enjoys playing both sides of the field, you can accept the notion of a switch. You may not understand, you may not get it, or you may not be comfortable with the notion of a switch. But honestly, who cares? If you’re not going to be a switch yourself, then it should not bother you. But whether you understand them or not, switches are a part of our community. And their role should be respected just as much as you want yours respected.

Just remember the golden rule, do unto others as you would want them to do unto you.

And the golden rule in the BDSM world.

Your kink may not be my kink, but it's still okay

 18. Never trust a big butt and a smile (or tits or cock)... 

Since the dawn of civilization, a pretty or handsome face has been the downfall of many people. Don’t be one of them. Sure it’s easy to find someone so physically attractive that's all you see. But remember, people are more than their physical appearance. Just because you like big tits it does not mean that singular physical attribute should be the primary motivating factor determining If you want a relationship with someone or not. Because remember eventually. Whatever physical attribute you currently are so completely enamored with will just fade away.. then what are you left with? Hopefully something. But speaking from experience, it is a far better practice to find someone that you enjoy talking to and spending quality time with. Somebody who doesn't get on your nerves and is on the same level as you are intellectually. Those sort of things are what make a relationship stand the test of time. But once you have those things and are with the person in a relationship, it is absolutely a happy bonus if they actually do have the big tits or cock of your dreams.

 19. Not everyone has to submit to you... 

You are not everyone’s Dominant. Not everyone has to call you Sir or Ma’am or bow down and kiss your ring (or boots). That type of deference comes with experience and proving yourself. You only deserve it, if you have first properly earned it. Just because you see yourself as a Dominant, doesn’t mean everyone else will, or even should. Treat submissives in a manner that shows you have respect and consideration. Don’t allow yourself to get Domlier-than-thou and think you can run rough shod over anyone else. Others have a choice and they have the right to exercise that choice.

You cannot make a decision for someone else that you are not in a relationship with.

And you can only make a decision for someone else that you are in a relationship with, if they allow you that privilege.

Remember submission is a gift. And in my opinion, it is the single greatest gift one human being can bestow upon another. If that is always in the forefront of your mind and you treat it as such, that will single-handedly eliminate a vast majority of the potential issues that can arise from your sub. 

 20. Never stop learning

No matter how much you learn, or how many people you talk to or how many classes or demos you attend, you will never stop being able to learn something else. There are many nuances and subtleties to this lifestyle that will take a lifetime to master and incorporate properly. Everything cannot be learned in a few months or years. Always be open to learning something new, & from someone new.

Always be open to the fact that someone can teach you something new. The more you learn, the better you will be. Even if you have been involved for 30 years, there will still be something for you to learn and grow from.

I truly cannot stress this one enough, I've been involved in this lifestyle for quite a while, basically my entire adult life, and yet I still make it a point to learn something new everyday.

Any Dom, who thinks he knows everything, can no longer be taught anything new, and therefore will become obsolete as time passes.

If you're not continually learning and moving forward, you're simply falling behind. 

Some helpful tips for new Dominants... Part 3

11. Don’t measure yourself against others... 
You have to develop your own style. You have to figure out what makes you tick and why. Don’t do things just because someone else is doing them or it seems cool. Or even because the hot little potential sub is really begging for it. If it’s not for you, it’s not for you. People are best at what truly inspires them. Not because of what is cool and hip at the moment. While, like high school, there is peer pressure in the BDSM scene/lifestyle, you have the choice as to whether or not you cave in to it, or will you blaze your own path.

12. Keep an open mind... 
There are probably lots of things that as a new person you do not like. But the likelihood that in 2 or 3 or 10 years you will totally be into some of those things is quite high. But only if you keep an open mind, and continue to learn about new things. So be sure to try out and learn about different things constantly. You never know what turns you off today will totally rock your socks tomorrow. So keep an open eye and an open mind. It will work to your benefit in the long run.

13. Be sure to always question yourself.. 
A Dominant who doesn’t question themselves isn’t much of a Dominant. One of the tricks to being a good Dominant (if you are interested in such a thing) is going back to look at and re-examining your actions as a Dominant. Figure out what you did and why you did it. The answers will not always come easy and they may not always be pleasant. But self-awareness and introspection are two crucial tools in a Dominants play box. Use them well and use them often. And you will find that the more often you question yourself, the less often that anybody else might want to.

14. You can’t learn everything on the internet... 
The Internet will NOT teach you how to be a good Dominant. It will barely teach you how to be a good Top. The Internet is filled with tons of really good information. However it’s filled with a bunch of stupid shit too. Unfortunately, it is nearly impossible for someone that is new and inexperienced to sort out the differences.You cannot teach yourself everything. This is a common misconception. Because it's actually common sense when you think about it. How can you teach yourself something you don’t know?  Again, the answer is you can't, but what you can do is seek out others who are experienced. And if you are so inclined, find a mentor. If you don’t want to find a mentor, establish your own “tribe” (i.e., group of friends). Use them as a sounding board and an advice corner. Get information from as many different people as you can, then make it your own. Do not rely on sites like FetLife for your information. There is a lot more to this stuff than will ever appear on Fet.

15. Be honest about your experience... 
If you’ve been involved in BDSM for 10 years, but 9 of those years have been online, be honest about that. Don’t lie about parties, clubs, dungeons, or events. Be honest about your experience, or lack thereof. You will gain more respect from others that way and it will also accelerate your ability to learn. It will also potentially draw the more experienced to you if you don’t pretend that you know everything already. One thing about the lifestyle is usually, a honest and experienced person, Dom or sub, can smell bullshit a mile away. And they will want nothing to do with anything that smells that bad.