Random Blog

Fun fact about me, I've never had a valentine, like never ever. This year I thought it would be different but boy was I wrong lol

So long story short, I wanted to ask a friend of mine (let's call him T) to be my valentine on February 13th but being introverted I was too scared to ask him so a mutual friend of ours (we'll call her L) decided to do it even though I asked her otherwise. L comes back to me saying that I'm going to be super happy and to expect something on Valentine's Day blah blah blah .... So I had my hopes up, yes .... Until later on that same day I get a text from T saying that he doesn't want to be mean but he doesn't want to be my Valentine ......

💀 💀 💀

I respected his feelings and we're still on good terms ... Cool ... But here's what kind of messed me up, why didn't he just say no instead of dragging it out like that? Some of my other friends who aren't involved says that he didn't want to embarrass me but I feel that it's more embarrassing to have to explain the situation to others when they ask me what T ended up giving me, all T gave me was a little more trust issues and disappointment.

So this is year 22 of me not having a Valentine. I know it doesn't seem like much but it gets lonely after a while. 

Of all my 21 years of living excluding about 3 months of a broken relationship I have been single, this 2024 something's got to change!

I spent too long by myself and at this point I think it's starting to drive me crazy 😂 so I will make it my 2024 goal to get into a functioning relationship with love, admiration, respect, kinkiness, and more!

I find it absolutely ridiculous that I've never been on a date before, I haven't had a valentine before, I've never been to the beach, I never been to an amusement park, and before any of you hit me with the "you can do all that by yourself you don't need a significant other to do all that" I'm aware of that but it makes it so much special when you have your first experience of anything with someone special.

It's so much nicer when there's someone with you to see the surprised and delighted expression of a new experience and to be completely honest I'm just tired of being alone.

Jeez that sounded so desperate 😅

But yeah I'll end it here before it turns into a ramble rant post

It's been a while since I've been in The Cage, I'm very excited to see where this goes! I'm excited for the new year as well, will I make a new years resolution? That I'm not too sure yet but hey, a new journey begins!