Drinfear's Ravings

 A former sub once asked Me, do You really love me?

I considered the question, then considered the source, 

 Determining the answer carefully.. 

 Finally, I smiled and responded with a nod, replying simply.. 

I DO love you.. A little.

 Her face went ashen, then an illegal shade of red, 

The perceived slight ALL that mattered.. 

 She chose to accept My response as an insult, so it seemed,

But perception is only as deep a meaning as one reads..

 She CHOSE to see My simple response as an INSULT, 

Though NOTHING could be further from the Truth.. 

 She raised her voice, she ranted and railed,

Such is the folly of our youth..

 I have given You my EVERYTHING, she said without thinking it through,

I bow, I scrape, I follow EVERY command, whether or not I feel I want to.

 But You can't tell me I mean everything, I mean more than anyone ELSE.

That You would see me as someone to keep beside you for all time..

 I smiled sadly, slowly opening up, these words you accuse are FAR from true.

I answered the question simply and honestly, now it's time to realize the TRUTH.. 

 I love you little bit more today, 

Than I EVER have loved you before. 

 I'll love you a little more on the morrow,

How can you ask, or WANT for any more?

 The love that we shared, I was led to believe,

Would transcend the confinements of Time..

 Seems that YOU have found My answer less than you saw,

Didn't even choose to ask the definition of MINE..

Dom

2/1/26

Every now and then, you find someone,
That moves into your life..
They only speak truths, some you shudder to hear,
But they open up your eyes..

They tell you things, sometimes so hard to hear,
But speak it with with the utmost of truth..
Some pass it off as the the mental failings of age,
Or the ravings of those n their youth..

These words are from Life, or from God, if you will,
Trying to save us from our the tempting inner voices..
Attempting to teach us, sometimes in vain,
Trying to save us from our own, often bad, choices..

Dom Jordan
1/19/26

 I have been told, multiple times in the past, that less is more.. I disagree.. HOW can one express their beliefs or ideas without the context from which it was derived..? YES, I can, and, alas, HAVE, in the past, boiled My experiences and observations down to their rudimentary essence.. It feels 'foreign' to Me.. It feels wrong.. Like modern math.. These are things I have LIVED through, things that NEED to be explained, not just turned into equations that some may, or may not, understand themselves,, NO judgements.. These are MY experiences, and not everyone (fortunately) has had to endure the walk -I- have in life.. I am happy to admit this, and wouldn't change this fact.. Things I have lived through (I have been told many times) would have broken lesser people, and left them shells of human beings,, *shrug* -I- just keep placing one foot in front of the other, and continue to be Me.. (details upon request if anyone cares to message for them..) 

 I have survived multiple experiences that should have ended My life.. To the point that I am beginning to wonder if THIS is MY version of hell.. But there ARE lights in the darkness.. Multiples of them, and those here KNOW who they are.. But the facts remain.. AM I stuck here..?

 Another song that describes Me.. (Yeah, I know, there's more than a few.. I have THREE core songs.. Rough and Ready by Trace Adkins, Real Good Man by Tim McGraw, and the third shall remain a secret.. For now)

 I have MANY songs I can sing note for note, nuance by nuance.. (I believe the count is over 10,000, but to be honest, I never counted.. I remember singing New Kid In Town by the Eagles when it debuted on the radio.. [OR singing it along with the jukebox at 5 at a local bar while My Great Grandma got her 'medicine']) there are VERY few songs from the 70's, 80's and 90's I can't tune in to and pick up the lyrics, nuances and beat from the spot I started listening.. Early 2000's, not so many, the 2010's, I'm good with..)

 This latest song is one (of course) from the early 90's, but one I still find extremely relevant..

 It also was the ending to one of My favorite episodes of one of My favorite series Supernatural, season 2 episode 17 (Heart) but it was ingrained in Me long before that..

 *shrug* Just am FYI.. What song or songs define YOUR life?

Dom

  Just ANOTHER example of Life happening and disrupting plans.. In July, I had made plans to build Myself a Houseboat.. a 'ME' space I could go to, a space I could call My OWN, be Myself, no judgements, no worries, no outside influences.. We lost a roommate, which required additional monetary input, so these plans were put on hold.. 

 It was meant to be a structurally sound sanctuary, large enough to actually sail down the Susquehanna River, into Chesapeake Bay, and then the Atlantic at large.. A space that was self contained, self sufficient  and I could sail/motor to the Bahamas or beyond to find a deserted island to claim and create a space for My Family.. (lofty goal, that, right..?) SUCH were My plans, though.. With My knowledge of carpentry (10+ years in the business) AND My knowledge of welding.. (spark, spot, and plasma) I believed I was equal to the task.. (I planned to use 50 gallon plastic barrels for buoyancy located at various side along the 2" squared metal frame.. Giving Me the option to add additional spaces at will, to maintain self-sufficiency..) But losing the roommate, and their contribution to the mortgage, removed this option.. For the present.. 

  The plan HAS been put on hold, but IS still very much alive and continues to evolve.. 

 a few may understand this definition of how I present Myself, which is fine.. This is one of My defining songs regardless, and I will neither apologize, nor try to pretend otherwise.. 

 The song is self explanatory, -I- believe.. If not, feel free to message Me for clarification.. 

 Innocence is a state of mind, as are ALL experiences.. Once removed, or passed, these states cannot EVER be returned to.. No matter the context, once you pass these milestones, be it the discovery of adult magazines at an early age, or the introduction to carnal pleasures, you can NOT return to the innocence you lived by before these events were revealed, whether you WANT to be, or not.. 

 I had the (mis) fortune (??) of discovering Playboy magazine, hidden though it was by My Grandpa, being an intellectually curious child, I ALSO discovered the fact He had an ACTUAL US Minted $100,000 bill in His safe.. But, be that as it may, FEW accept the fact that any Mint ever PRINTED them, let alone someone SAW one.. (details can be explained on request,, Message Me for further details)

 I discovered Playboy in 1977.. At the age of 8.. (AGAIN, will not dwell on details, but will happily discuss them in private for those that may be (morbidly) curious..) I may not be PROUD of this fact.. (As well as OTHER facts in My life) but I will NOT shy away from, nor HIDE from them, these are ALL experiences that have made Me into who I am today. Warrior, person and man.. 

 I AM who I am. I neither make excuses NOR apologize for either..

Dom 

 So I have several songs that -I- believe, (PERSONAL preference and choice) describe Me.. 

  ONE of several.. (

 I DETEST, with a PASSION, I might add, repeating Myself.. But I have said things in the past, and will continue to do so, because PRINCIPLES need to be re-integrated, and re-enforced.. 

 Respect and trust are commodities that are EARNED, but it is also a two way street,, THEY need earn YOUR trust and respect to earn your submission, but, on the SAME hand, YOU have to prove, and earn, THEIR trust and respect at the same time.. 

 SOME Dom/Masters/Daddy's, or flip side, Dommes/Mistresses/Mommy's, push a subs boundaries, KNOWING the experience should be TOO intense, EXPECTING an established safe-word to be utilized,,  DOING so, shows a submissive's willingness to, possibly, disappoint, instead of pushing through and risking possible injury, mental OR physical, but PROVING  their trust that if things get too intense, they will END a session to keep themselves safe.. 

 As ALWAYS, these are just MY preferences, MY practices.. 

I have walked through experiences that FEW ever knew, let ALONE, understood, or endured.. I neither expect others to understand, let ALONE they BELIEVE.. I have endured accusations from those that SAW the truth of the situation , yet chose to side AGAINST Me, or worse YET, to DISOWN Me. Now that I have PROVEN Myself, through fire, judgement, and the CRUCIBLES that Life chose to deal, those SAME people approach, claiming they NEVER believed what they were told.. *cough* Uh.. ACTIONS mean more than words EVER will, do they NOT..? Where does YOUR judgement fall..? HONESTLY?

 I am human.. I understand, AND accept, I am not PERFECT, NOR will I ever CLAIM to be.. I am human. PERIOD. NO better than anyone else, nor will I JUDGE anyone in their "walk".. It is neither My purpose OR place in life to DO so.. -I- only know what I am SHOWN, which exposes character, principles, and morals.. THIS is what matters to ME, in My life.. Honesty.. Respect.. Loyalty.. Trust.. THE solid foundation for ANY relationship. If you CAN'T be Honest, on the minutest of levels, HOW can you expect to be believed on TRUE issues, issues that TRULY impact LASTING relationships..?