Drinfear's Ravings

 Today, May 28th, 2026 would mark the 58th birthday of the woman, Lora Louise Jordan, I married on June 5th, 1990.. She gave Me a son, Dom, Jr, on October 5th, 1990.. In November 1990, My probation was violated and I was sent to prison.. The first week of June, 1990, My wife was heading Home from the grocery store.. HAD the light, was in the crosswalk.. A drunk driver ran the red light and never even bothered to stop.. It took the police, at the time, two weeks to trace the person down, arrested him, and before he was even processed, his lawyer had him off on a technicality.. (I will not go into the horrors here, but feel free to message for details, if you're into the macabre stuff, and I will share)

 My purpose here is to say Happy Birthday to a woman I meant to to share My life with.. 

Dom

05/28/26

 There are VERY few words in the English vocabulary that can express what we consider to be "greatness". There are FOUR that, as a man, I can admit, I lived to hear..

 Feel free here to speak up, I am ONLY speaking from My Own Personal experiences.. But once upon a time, I believed those words to be spoken by My Dad, whom I wrote  and posted here previously, to be My Hero, My role model.. Those words were to hear Him say "I'm proud of You became.." The meaning being implicit in who and ALL I am.. ALL of the adversity I pushed through, all of the darkness I faced, to become the man, the Warrior, I am today..

 I have since learned there ARE more important words in life, Personally expressed, or expressed by others. .Like admitting when You made a mistake.. This happens to ALL of us, hopefully, these incidents do not destroy the Trust and Respect between individuals.. I had such an incident happen in front of Me, and it wrecks Me to this day relaying or remembering it.. (feel free to message for details, I will not relate them here..)

 There are times people enter your life.. Sometimes for harm, sometimes for good, sometimes to teach.. EVERY person entering your life is there for a reason.. OUR purpose is to LEARN that reason.. Understand it.. Accept it.. Grow and move on.  SOME of us are hard headed.. We refuse to learn, to understand, to grow.. SO, whatever Higher Power you may choose, be it Karma, The Universe, God, Allah, Buddha, or otherwise, have to resort to sending the lesson time and time again until it is internalized, accepted, understood, so the NEXT lesson can begin..

 This post was meant to be a farewell to those I have met over the course of My life that showed they did not belong there, for one reason or other.. Apparently, it has become a teachable moment.. Things that were said in passing, but taken as "Gospel" as it were.. Everyone has their own motives, do they not? (ONLY speaking here from PERSONAL experience..) Who can honestly see those motives, honestly..? I have My ways of seeing through shadows and expectations, discovering those motives, but even -I- have to admit I am not flawless.. Otherwise, I would not have suffered nearly as much as I have throughout My life, right..?

  There are times in life you realize,

The things you SAY can turn on YOU.

  That every word has meaning,

Impacts on all you do..

  When does realization hit,

Make your eyes turn to introspect?

  When do they finally begin to see,

The lack of self respect?

 The desire to see the fault of others,

The lack of self account?

  To believe yourself above reproach,

To never live within the bounds?

  The bounds that are set for others,

Not living by words said or sent..

  To judge others by double standards

Refusing to accept living in Life's moments..

Dom

05/21/26

I do not often admit some of this.. But God protected Me from 4 assassination attempts between the ages of 3-5 years old, a robbery attempt at 36 where I was shot driving a cab in Bradenton, Fla (August 23rd, 2005 for those seeking confirmation) AND being pinned by the neck to a wall by 1100 pounds of tractor wheel working on a farm outside Bunnell, Fla in March, 2007.. (Monday, March 7th {I BELIEVE the date was} it wrecked My body pretty bad, I was told after, that I would never walk again.. a month later, I was working construction, digging ditches with a STILL broken right femur..) God IS good.. ALL the time..

 Most here may not be aware, I am a third generation truck driver.. I am proud of this fact, being able to support Me and those I call Family, despite being labelled crippled by doctors for over a decade.. This song hots FAR closer than most, and I felt the urge to share it..

 There are times things happen in your life that cannot be explained, defined, categorized.. I was recently reminded of one such incident in My life (I have many more, but are FAR more personal, and only share in private with those honestly interested..)  In the late 70's, or very early 80's, My Grandparents, Gran and Gramps, My "mom's" parents, went on their first vacation ever.. They loaded up Gramps' El Camino (I'm a Ranchero fan, Myself, but HEY.. Nobody is perfect, yeah?) with the camper shell, they headed west from Lima, Ohio.. They stopped in all the tourist traps heading southwest.. When they got to Tombstone, Arizona, they went to visit Boot Hill.. Gramps closed His eyes at the gates, wandered through the headstones, stopped, pointed down and said loud and clear.. THIS is where they buried Me.. When He opened His eyes, He was pointing at the headstone of Billy The Kid.. -I- can't explain it.. HERE, anyway.. He had never visited the place before, but was drawn unerringly to that location, and unwavering in His belief.. 

 Proof of reincarnation, or just a simple coincidence..? I leave it to YOU to decide..

Dom

05/11/26

 I have always considered Myself to be funny.. Especially when it comes to self deprecation.. I'm secure enough in Myself and My abilities to laugh off such slights.. I even ADD to the slights others throw to make people laugher louder and harder.. I am proud of the library of songs I have in My head.. Word for word, note for note, nuance by nuance.. I have recently considered learning to do producing and mixing music.. But I have to be honest.. I'm NOT a singer.. A quote comes to mind.. "the sincerest form of flattery from the mediocre, is mimicry.. I can mimic ANY song I hear.. It may take a week.. (sometimes MORE.. Kitten, if you're reading this, I'm STILL trying to get the rap section of You're Welcome down, but have not given up!!)  If I am given a track, with or without lyrics or words, if I KNOW the song, I can sing it line for line from the place it starts on.. 

 But AGAIN, I say, I am FAR funnier a comedian, (AGAIN, -I- think) than as an entertainer/singer.. I do not write material. I do not HAVE to. In the immortal words of Kojo, a comedian that appeared on Brittain's Got Talent.. I do NOT have jokes, I have PROBLEMS..  *laugh* Most hear them and laugh, which I appreciate.. SOME refuse to accept them as experiences I lived through, survived, and SOME refuse to accept even happened.. *shrug* 

 It's not My job to convince anyone, either way.. I tell My story. NO bragging, NO exaggeration, NO lies.. Straight forward, explanations, that most find hilarious.. As do -I-, honestly, having lived through them, and still being here to relate them to others.. *laugh* 

 I am considering an audition for a talent show next year.. I will not jinx the possibility, but will put the possibility out there..

Dom

05/10/26

 I can give a plethora of excuses. I could list a multitude of words here that could ease My conscience, and relieve the burden of responsibility that I now understand, and accept..  I was TOLD, when I learned to drive a truck, and HAD to agree to a year of driving over the road for the company that trained Me, that NOT being Home every night was not acceptable.. she needed someone who was home every night.. I accepted this and released her. As i left the last time, I was informed that, and I QUOTE here, "she was a month pregnant wen I MET her, the baby wasn't Mine, and NOT to worry about it..

 THAT was December 27th, 2008,

  I was subpoena'd in 2018 and subsequently discovered the lie.. I was present THROUGH the pregnancy, AT the birth, cut the umbilical.. then discarded 6 months later as inconsequential when trying to Provide for the 'family; I chose, TWO members of which were not My blood, but accepted responsibile for.. 13 years later, I took a blood test, never heard back.. Figured the test, as I was informed, PROVED I was cleared.. Found out LATER that I was wrong.. But was prevented from even trying to make a connection to the child I WISH I had been able to BE there for.. 

 My daughter, Jayden, turned 18 last month.. All I can do now is WISH I had been allowed to be present, but I can only believe the information given in the moment.. 

 I HAVE to say here and now, I have NEVER been one that follows the crowd.. I march in MY direction, and have ALWAYS been proud of this fact..

 Recently, here, on The Cage, I have noticed certain spikes in views, and DO have to confess, a certain 'validation' from the number of views, comments and acceptances of the posts I have made.. I also must confess, to My chagrin, that I have made posts to 'play' to this newfound, and unexpected, popularity.. I have NEVER been one to seek a spotlight.. I prefer anonymity, so recognizing this flaw within Myself speaks volumes.. 

 I, and this is ONLY a personal observation, feel as if I have recently chosen to conform, to "chase a spotlight", as it were, instead of being true to who, and WHAT I am.. I AM a DOM, yes. I LIVE it, I do not perfect what I do to enrich Myself.. I TEACH those coming into the lifestyle to recognize those seeking self gratification over those that choose to PROMOTE the lifestyle itself.. I have dedicated Myself to the Lifestyle, and believe (yes hubris is exposed) that I support the lifestyle in its' essence.. I have been wrong before in My life.. Such things happen.. I am human, and do not claim to be "perfect" nor would I ever WANT to be..

 Dom

05/03/26