Jackdaws In Flight

I never want to stop learning, whether that is in a Kink or Vanilla setting, in more or less carnal ways, whether that is learning all there is to know about someone close to me, or whether there is a subject area that peaks my fancy (lately I have been going deep on Resin Art), I never want to stop learning.  I find deep diving into a subject area, learning all I can, finding resources that will teach me more, and finally being able to teach others what I have found, those are the things I love doing.  I love the feeling of initial bewilderment, followed by the glimpse of knowledge, followed (hopefully) by the realisation that I'm getting the hang of this.  I love feeling like I have succeeded in learning something.  I crave being able to teach someone something I have learned.  Mastery and Learning are deeply addictive feelings to me.

If learning and mastery is a drug, I want to baseline all the knowledge... just shove it in my brain, there's plenty of room.

If I was offered the chance to live forever, I would only want it if I could continue learning (and sharing that knowledge with those I love).  This is something that never made sense to me in Vampire stories and movies... the Vampires never seemed to GROW... they become Stagnant, stop growing, stop learning, stop teaching - that is death to me.  Once I stop learning, I have stopped living.  If the cost of living forever is to stop being able to learn, then I want no part in it...

As Queen once said, "Who Wants To Live Forever?  Depends on the learning resources available"... ok they didn't say the last bit, but I am sure that it was heavily implied... ok maybe not heavily implied, but surely hinted at... ok, hinted is a little bit of a stretch, maybe they were in the same universe as learning with that song, but still my point stands... Learning, Mastery, and Teaching is a flex I happily make any chance I can get.

I may also be a little tired and delirious from a lack of sleep... What?! Me Not Sleep?! Never!  I can taste colour of bright sunshine right now... I think I need the sleeps, wish me luck... but don't hide the books please, I needs them, they are my Precious... my Preciouses... WHAT IS IN IT'S POCKETSES!!! IS IT KNOWLEDGES?! GIVES IT TO ME NOW!!! 

Ok, I really have to get to bed, I am going full blown Knowledge Smeagol over here...

I hope you are all learning, growing, and exploring all there is available...  To infinity and, well, that is pretty much all there is really as a conceptual idea, there isn't much else after infinity... except bills, I think bills are outside of the normal realms of infinities.

I have been fortunate enough in my life to have met a few people, who upon meeting, I felt deeply connected to instantly (some even before I physically met them). 

The first ended up being one of my first best friends, a woman who within seconds of meeting her, we felt like we had known each other for our entire lives.  We got each others humour, understood how our emotions ran, and just gelled.  I don't talk with her nearly as much as I would like, but when we do, it is as though no time has passed since the last time we spoke, and we are just as entwined as always.  She has gone through some terrible things in her life, and is currently going through an awful court case (spurious and malicious), but even with all that extra stress, we still laugh and joke as though nothing in the world is happening outside of our conversations.  If I did know her in a previous life, we must have been the best of friends, cause no matter what, we always enjoy talking to each other.

The second, I married.  I proposed to her on our third phone call, then again when I met her for the first time in person (in a leather shop... seems appropriate now lol). I know, it seems a little sudden, but we just knew (I didn't ask her to marry me without knowing her feeling first btw... that would just be weird).  Before I met her, I did not believe in love at first sight (and in this case, I suppose it wasn't even that... it was love before first sight).  We complete each other, we understand each other.  She finishes my sentences, I finish hers.  We still have our ups and downs, and we are still learning all there is to know about each other even after 23 years of marriage.  But, we knew within moments of being together that we were meant to be together.  I still get butterflies thinking of her, I still get all giddy at the sight of her, and I still very much get turned on by her (much to her chagrin lol).  You would think that after 23 years, I would have at least lost a little of the interest in her, but if anything, I am MORE interested in spending time with her now, than when I first met her.  I am constantly impressed, surprised, and amazed at the things I learn about her on a day to day basis.  She is my centre, and my world.

The third person we met fairly recently (started talking about 15 months ago, but met face to face back in March 2024), and again, within an incredibly short time, I felt like I had been friends with her since the beginning of time.  I still get that giddy feeling talking to her, I get the butterflies thinking of her, but I find that she is in every one of my dreams of late (something that doesn't happen with folks till I have known them for years).  She and my wife get on so well, and it makes me happy to see it too.  Nisha finds it hard to trust and talk to people, but those two have formed a strong bond, laugh and joke, and pebble (sending each other pictures, gifs, stories, recipes etc as signs of love, like a penguin does) to the point of distraction... seriously... so many messages every day... and I wouldn't change it for the world.  They are the two shining lights in my life, no matter how dark it gets, I always know that they will light up my darkest moments.  I feel safe to be me, and I hope that they feel safe to be them, because there is nothing in this world I love more than them.

Anyway, the point of this post before I got distracted by how amazing and beautiful these three people are, was to say that I am grateful to the universe for allowing me to not only meet these amazing individuals, but to fall so deeply for them, be that as friends, or something more. 

If you ever meet someone who you just Gel with... don't pass up the opportunity, get their number.  It may only be a friendship that evolves from that chance meeting, it may be something more, but if you FEEL deep down inside that you just KNOW that person, don't let them go without getting each others details.  If you both feel that you are destined to speak to one another, then speak, don't let the universe distract you from that once in a lifetime (or thrice in a lifetime for me) opportunity.  There are nearly 7 billion people in the world, the chances that you meet someone that you just GET is so slim.  Everyone is different, everyone is uniquely themselves, so meeting someone that just GETS you and you GET them, is like winning the lottery... thrice... without even entering into it.

Whatever the situation, go, grab your loved ones, hug them, tell them that they matter, be sure to let them know how you feel.  You never know when life might take them or you away, and then, you may not get to see them again till your next life when you are both cats.... or dogs, I do not discriminate.

Happy Kinky New Year to my fellow Kinky inglorious 🤘bastards, to the latex freaks, the beautiful savages, the little rebels, the satin geeks🖖, the BDSM infidels, the consensual weirdos, to the D/s nerds, and to all in-between. May this be your best year yet, but not the best to come!

May you get what you want, but not what you deserve!

So, Happy New Year, and a mainy on'em!

I would hope that all here are already familiar with the term Consent.  I would hazard a guess that a lot of you are also familiar with the idea of Consent as a Scale rather than a singular thing (think of 0-255 rather than a 0-1).  I would also hope that anyone here is aware that consent is an ongoing thing, not a One and Done thing... but that is a conversation for another time.

This concept of Consent being on a scale is especially important in a BDSM setting, but equally important even in Vanilla life too.  Both sexually, kink wise, and outside of the bedroom as well (medically etc).

For anyone who is unaware of what I mean, here is how I see the scale, others may add or disagree here, but this is my scale.  I will also be ignoring lack of Consent for the most part to just stick to the idea of Given Consent itself (I shall also be avoiding CNC, as this is a whole can of worms that I personally will not get involved in, you do you boo, you do you). 

The Consent Scale (complete with crappy titles for each level):

Enthusiastic Consent - This is wherein someone not only gives consent, but actively wants to give consent.  An example could be someone who wants to be flogged, it has always been a fantasy of theirs, and they were hoping that you would ask.  It could be someone who wants to have a sexual encounter, has been longing for it, wanting it, needing it for a while, and once asked, doesn't even have to think for a moment, just jumps on it... literally in some cases ;)

This is the level of Consent I am most comfortable with, it is the only level of consent that makes me happy to receive or give (for personal reasons, having not given consent in the past, and had that lack of consent ignored).  If someone is enthusiastically consenting to something I have asked to do (in whatever form that may take, from "Give me your number" to "give me your soul"), that turns me on... ok... maybe not when someone enthusiastically says "YES! YES! PLEASE LET ME MAKE A CUP OF TEA!"... then I might be a little concerned as to why they really want to make a cup of tea so badly that they are almost orgasming at the thought of it... but you get my drift.

Sure Consent - The next level is "I am consenting, I don't really want to right now, but know I will enjoy this once it gets started and will be happy it happened afterwards" This is where someone may not actively want to do something at the time, they may not be sure that they are in the mood, not physically feeling it but mentally there, they may even just be caught off guard.  Sometimes when you get in from doing the adulting, someone suddenly asking "hey wanna do X, Y, or Z?" all things you enjoy normally, but you just weren't expecting it right now.  So you consent to it, knowing that you would really enjoy it after it started, but were unsure of whether to start right now...  This is still Consent, just not as Consenting as Enthusiastically Consenting... this is "I Guess" consent.

This is a soft limit for me, if someone is in "I Guess" mode, I may need some convincing that we should proceed.  I would likely question whether now was the right time, and likely prefer that we can do it later on, or when the other person/s are in the mood.  If the person was SURE that actually I have turned "I Guess" into Enthusiastic Consent, then I would move forward.  BUT, it would have to be a 100% thing for me.

"If it makes you happy" Consent - This is when someone doesn't want to do something for their pleasure, but for the pleasure of the person asking... I cannot bring myself to enjoy this, either giving or receiving.  If I get the inclining that someone is in "If it makes you happy" mode, I am immediately turned off.  I just don't want to continue at this point, and will default to "Oh no, I have a headache, maybe another time" or "Oh damn, I forgot I have to do some adulting" and postpone or cancel entirely.  If someone is only doing this "For Me", since I do not value myself as much as I value those I care about, I simply don't want it... I can take care of my carnal desires easily enough all on my own, and don't need the guilt that comes with this kind of consent eating away at me for the rest of time.  This is a Hard Limit for me, as are all following grades. 

I have been in the position of giving "If it makes you happy" consent with a previous partner.  I was good friends with them at the time, and they were going though a really rough patch (their partner was cheating on her, she was feeling depressed, unlovable, and undesirable).  I agreed to a sexual encounter, even though I knew it would affect our friendship later down the line, and only gave it as I knew they needed it at that point in time.  They REALLY needed it, and despite my not really wanting to, I wanted to see them happy again, so that she could see that she was beautiful, that she deserved better.  I felt like crap afterwards, sure it was sexually enjoyable in a physical sense (the only Sex I have ever not enjoyed was non-consensual), and it was exceptionally nice to see them happy (It made her see how awful her then partner was, and she subsequently left them for someone better), but I knew that what I had done was give them a short term fix, that left me feeling mildly violated.  I was too young and inexperienced to voice this with them, to ask them to respect my boundaries at the time, and I deeply regret doing it to this day, even if it meant she ended up in a better place (she is now happily married).  We are still friends... ish.  I still talk to her from time to time, but we have never been the same since.  I miss our friendship.  Had it been under different circumstances, had she and I both been enthusiastic about it, rather than just her, I would have felt differently about it... I mean, she wasn't exactly unattractive (she is a pretty lady), and the things she could do in bed were... well... educational... anyway, I valued our friendship more, and feel I gave that up for her to be happy for that time.  

Anything below this is NOT Consent in my eyes, despite it technically being so in some places (at least legally speaking).

"Oh, I have to do this" or "It's My Duty" Consent -  An example would be a wife who is utterly not interested in sex or doing something kinky, deciding that it is her duty to perform for her partner as it is their anniversary (or vice versa).  This is not really much better than indentured servitude in my eyes.  Some people may be ok with this, whether receiving or giving consent, but this is not ok for me, and is absolutely OFF the damn table.  I want truth, honesty, and openness, otherwise, I do not want it.

"I have to do this to stop this person being angry/depressed/sad" or "Appease the Douche" Consent - (please note that douches can be male or female or any shade in between).  I cannot ever see any situation where this is Consent.  While it may be legally consent in some places, this is Forced Consent, and is therefore NOT consent.

A darker version of "It's My Duty" Consent is "It's YOUR Duty" Consent... this is fucked up, and is emotional blackmail.  Someone who makes someone feel like they MUST doing something, like they HAVE to agree to something, is fucked up.  REALLY fucked up.  Whether you are male, female, or any of the wonderful shades of grey in between, Your Body, Your Choice.  Never accept anyone who tells you that you have to do something like this.  Fuck that, Don't Fuck Them, Leave.

"Lack Of Legal" Consent -  If someone is not mentally able to give consent, due to age, being on certain drugs (whether knowingly or not), or varying states of consciousness, then they have not given consent even if they have verbally given consent.  An example would be someone who was very drunk, and gave consent to a sexual act, but under normal circumstances would not have.  This is where thankfully most places decide that consent ends, and is no longer freely given... but there are a few places around the world where even this is "Given Consent"... if you live there, I am so sorry for you, and hope that you can either get the fuck out, or that the law and attitudes change fast.

I will not go further into this, as pretty much anything else from here on down is just too disgusting to think about.  Having been there, having felt what it's like when someone disregards your existence is such a way as to not only ignore the lack of consent, but laugh about it both during and afterwards, to then joke about it with others in front of you, anything else is just too raw for me to really talk about.  At least unless it was to help someone else who had been through it, and then, it would only be in a person to person setting rather than as a Random Blog Post.

There are surely shades in between these, nuances and special cases, but on the whole I think this covers most of the shades of consent and a dipping of toes into Non-Consent.

I hope that nobody has experienced anything below "Sure" Consent, but I fear that they most assuredly have as the Human Race is a disgusting and vile creature at the best of times.  Sure, there are individuals who are exceptional, wonderful, beautiful people, whom the gods would be honoured to gaze upon from afar, but there are a hell of a lot of folks who are just awful.  Here is hoping that they get some Karma their way, and know exactly WHY they got it... In other highly optimistic news, this weeks wall of text has finally finished, and if you made it this far, you are far more patient than me.

Peace and Love you inglorious bastards, may your deepest and darkest desires see the Enthusiastically Consensual light of day!

I never quite understood the Quantum Physicists being nerdy thing, they are quite sporty imo, who else can win and lose a boxing match at the same time?

You can tell a biologist by how cultured they are, a microbiologist by their use of a microscope, and a macro-biologist by their use of Excel.

In physics you cannot lick the science, in Geology you regularly do, in biology you really shouldn't, in Mathematics it is impressive if you can do it, but in computer science, licking it is the only way to get the code done on time... it wasn't that I fell asleep at my computer at all...

Buddhists are just really unfocused Astrophysicists, Buddhists really want to experience what being one with everything is like, where as Astrophysicists know that we are actually already one with the universe.... we are made of Stardust after all.

Do you know why there is so much empty space in the universe? Cause God rushed things and only spent 7 days on a maths assignment that should have taken 13.5 billion years.

And finally, why do we plant bulbs?  So Cern Scientists can see where they are going.

We bought a treadmill on a certain rainforest named store, as my wifes cough has still not gotten any better after two and a half years (persistent chronic post viral coughs SUCK in case you don't know) and it was delivered yesterday... I say delivered, the guy came to deliver it, called my wifes phone while we were in the other room, and immediately took off without leaving the parcel.  So I called him back, and he said he would not be back down our way until tomorrow, unless we had a car, in which case he would give it to us in the town.  I do not like waiting around for parcels, so decided to go and pick it up.

We parked just down the road from where he said he was going to be next, as it was the only parking space available.  Turns out he was a little further down the road, about half a mile (which was fine I thought), though I was not dressed for the occasion (I had planned on maybe a short walk) so was only wearing a thin zip up hoodie and a hat, and it was bitterly cold and foggy.  I walked down to where he was, and collected the Treadmill.

For anyone who is unfamiliar with treadmills, they are not light and easily portable, despite what certain rainforest themed retailers would like you to believe, but I hoisted the thing up on my one shoulder and started walking towards the car.

I cannot post pictures, but here is a mental image for you:  A long red bearded dude wearing a black beanie with a Skull and Crossed Axes emblem embroidered on the front (our little communities clan emblem), who is around six foot three, carrying a treadmill on his shoulder like folks used to carry those sound systems in the 1980s, the box being emblazoned on one side with "Treadmill" and being about 5 foot long, and about 3 foot wide, and about half a foot deep.  Now imagine said person walking through the town centre, at its peak throughput, with late teenage kids leaving the college just down the road, and it is in the freezing cold.  Several people watching decided to comment as they walked by "That is not how you use a treadmill sir"... really? I had no idea, I thought you carried the damn thing about like a battle axe while happily waltzing around the town!  -_-

I am grateful that I don't have to wait in today for the delivery (we have things to do), but my shoulder is now reminding me that I am A) Not as fit as I used to be, B) Not as young as I used to be, and C) There were two people there, I could have had help from my wife carry the other bloody end as I am not as fit or young as I used to be.  There is a lovely big bruise on my shoulder. 

Thankfully it is set up and ready to go on walks when I take it around town next time... obviously, with padding on my shoulder... cause that seems to be how you are supposed to use it based on the strange instructions that were in the manual... it has something about "ensure that you address the right sided left sided turned screw whilst carrying the Stepwalker" and something about "once removing the Host from the paperboard enclosure box".  Oh, and you are not supposed to "Hold your breath whilst using the Stepwalker" which is a surprise to me, as I always hold my breath for extended periods of time whilst exercising.  Also you are not supposed to "Over lubricate, not the more lubricant, the better"  which honestly makes me feel attacked. 

I think it might be a Chinese made one, I am not sure... either that or I hit my head whilst carrying it home.

Could be worse I suppose, I could be still recovering from the flu jab that I had, and have all of my glands enflamed and slightly suffering from Glandular Virus (which I always get after having a flu vaccine)... oh... wait... in the immortal words of Geralt Of Rivia "Fuck".

Lately, I have been seeing a lot of folks talking about others betraying their trust, lying, or straight up ignoring the rules of consent (and I am not talking in a CNC way... this may not be my jam, but Consent is STILL essential here).  Anyone, Dom or sub, Predator or prey, Big or little, should have their rights and consent honoured, and Consent can only be given if there is Trust and Honesty.

For Example (this popped up in a recent post):

If you have a transmittable disease (sexually or not), you should be up front and honest about it.  Someone cannot give full consent without true honesty.  If someone tells you that they are clean of all transmittable diseases, and then knowingly infects you, that is a Crime in the UK, no matter the circumstances of that transmission.  I don't know the law in other regions of the world, but I assume that in most this is also the case.  If you go into a relationship or dynamic and knowingly lie about something that serious, that is a massive breach of trust and negates ANY given Consent, also it makes you a MASSIVE DOUCHE CANOE who is only fit for fertilizer.

In all relationships, no matter how fleeting, they should always be built on Trust, Honesty, and Consent.  If you are friends with someone, it should be built on Trust, Honesty and Consent (especially if there is Benefits to that friendship).  If you are in a non-relationship BDSM dynamic with someone, it should be built on Trust, Honesty, and Consent.  Consent cannot be given if someone is being dishonest.

Being HONEST with each other (groups included), giving and receiving TRUST, and getting and giving CONSENT is SEXY to me.

If someone lies, if someone is distrustful, or someone ignores consent, they could be the sexiest looking person on the planet, and I would walk the other way if I saw them coming.

It is shocking to me that people in a Vanilla setting still do not get this, let alone within the BDSM community.

If you come across someone who betrays trust, lies, or oversteps the rules of consent, do not go quietly into that fair night.  Shout it out loud!  Burn that Bridge!  Shit, light the fires of Gondor if you have to - We have a duty to those around us to call out injustice, malice, bigotry and hatred in all its forms, and the best way of doing that is to stand by Honesty, Trust, and Consent.  And if you do, you are FAR sexier for it.

I never judge someone based on what kinks or fetishes gets someone off, but I do judge people based on their actions, how they treat others, and whether they have Honesty, are Trustful, or value Consent.

Now go out there and be the Sexy Bastards and Bitches, Littles and Bigs, Fuzzies and Scalies, Doms and Subs that you know you are!

A dear friend described my emotional state of late as being the "Emotional Zoomies".  One moment they are Up, then down, left, right, forward, backwards, and loop-de-loop.  That explains why I felt so drained after the most recent experience.

Then today we had a rough day Adulting, with everything that could go wrong, going wrong.  Thankfully those I love made it all seem like a wonderful day full of adventure and joy.

Here is to those that make even the shit days seem awesome!

You Rock!

I go through most days feeling nothing, just a blank, desperate, nothing.  Like a wall of darkness has swallowed my every light.  Someone I respect described it as feeling Hollow, and that is about as apt a description as I can imagine right now. 

Other days, I feel nothing but overwhelming overthinking, the depression that crawls through every thought.  The desperation of a hunger unsated. 

Most days, I just go from moment to moment, surviving.  Nothing more, nothing less.  Not living, just... surviving.  Going through the motions.  Pretending to laugh, pretending to feel something, anything, just to survive.

But today is not one of these days

Today, every emotion, every thought, just about everything is RAW.  Like when you touch something hot, and the burn has JUST started to really ache.  Like chilli or salt in a wound.  A papercut to the soul that just refuses to stop screaming at the top of its lungs.  Like the feeling you get when you run your knuckle over a cheese grater and it skins it to the nerves, only all over, all at once.  Everything is sharper, louder, deafening.

Today Really Smarts

But, just as I feel the darkness and pain crowding around me, inside me, I can also feel the light.  I can feel the happiness within me far stronger today than normal.  I see beauty, I see the sky above, I see the animals playing, I see the light of life filling every aspect of the world around me.

I see hope

I must put into words the things that normally I would hide deep beneath a cold, unbreakable, uncompromising, and thick layer of mental ice.  I cannot hide them any more than the sun can turn off it's light for a moment.  To do so, would mean an end.  And so, I apologise unreservedly, but today, I need to put voice to this feeling.

Now and forever

Thank you for existing.

Thank you for your friendship.

Thank you for being my light in the darkness.

Thank you for the love we have shared.

Thank you for the love we will share.

Thank you for the silliness.

Thank you for the deep thoughts.

Thank you for the conversations.

Thank you for the smiles.

Thank you for those quiet moments where all else melts away.

Thank you for the hugs, the kisses, the laughs and the cries.

Thank you for the heat of your soul.

Thank you for your pain.

Thank you for your healing.

Thank you for the comforting.

Thank you for understanding.

Thank you for your patience.

Thank you for your passion.

Thank you for your hope.

Thank you for trusting me to see who you are behind your masks.

Thank you for accepting me for who I am, despite my many failings.

Thank you for being there.

Thank you for trusting me with your truths.

Thank you for seeing me.

Thank you for sharing in who you are.

Thank you for always reaching out even when all you want to do is hide.

Thank you for everything you do big or small.

Thank you for the dreams you have shared with me, and for the dreams you give me.

Thank you for showing me there is more than the pit I fall into.

Thank you for the future yet to be determined.

But most importantly: Thank you for being you.

I only hope I can bring you just a fraction of the peace you have brought me.  I will always keep your truths safe in my heart, and I will always be here for you.

Now and forever.

Ok, enough with the feelings, time to make a coffee and get some adulting done.

Peace and love to all, but especially to those I love.  You are my light in the darkness... you are the ones who save me from myself when I cannot.

SONGS FOR THE DAY:  "The Serpents Trail" and "Into The Dark" by Amon Amarth, "Born In Flames" and "Fate Bringer" by In This Moment,  PANDEMONIUM by Infected Rain, and finally "Saorise" by Rotting Christ

When I hear certain sounds, they elicit emotions. 

The sound of Aluminium Foil feels like abject fear, it cuts through me and hurts my soul.  I literally get the Fight Or Flight response whenever I hear it.  Similarly, Deep Booming Bass (slow) feels like home, makes me feel safe, and calm.  The Texture of some plastics feels like Anger to me, I feel rage bubbling up through me when touching some fabrics or plastics (especially the seams).  Latex and PVC however feel like lust... maybe that is more to do with my personal fetishes, but they do.  A woman wearing Latex or PVC feels like lust, I don't even have to see it, I just FEEL it.  Silky fabrics feels like Love, like a lovers embrace.  When my partner wears anything silky, I find it VERY hard not to grab a hold of her and just touch her...  Sometimes the temptation is overpowering.  Some textures make me feel things, some sounds make me feel others.  I can taste the sounds of some things, and I can smell the colours of others.  Some of it good, some of it bad.  The taste of some things remind me of the smells of others - Olives, the fruit not the oil, tastes like Cat Piss Smells... and it is disgusting to me, like Gut Wrenching levels of Ewww.

The smell of Citrus fruits feels warm, the smell of Mint feels like a summer day, Cat Piss smells like Olives Taste... Nasty nasty Olives Ewww.

Then there are the memories triggered by some things, and the effects that has on me.  I was walking around the local supermarket the other day, and a smell hit me from in the Fruit and Vegetable section, and I swear, I not only got Deja Vu, but I got location dissonance, full blown "Had no idea where I was" hit me.  It took me a moment to remember that I was where I am, and that I was not in a supermarket in Sommerset England (I am in Northern Ireland... not even the same damn island, let alone town).

Music is like this too.  Music is an integral part of my life, it regulates my thoughts and emotions.  I often get lost in the myriad of random thought streams that are concurrent in my head, and music always helps order them.  Some music makes me feel safe, some energetic, some feels like nails on a chalk board, like someone is hammering at my head, but for the most part, Music is a pleasant experience, and grounding.  Textures too, sounds, smells, and even images.  I often wonder what it feels like for others, I know there is an entire community of folks dedicated to sounds making them feel things, and you can go down a very deep and dark ASMR rabbit hole on certain video provider sites.

Sometimes this can be very extreme, other times its just a gentle nudge.  It feels entirely natural and normal to me most of the time, other times however, not so much.  I have no control over when it hits, no idea how it will hit, it just will.

Textures as Emotions, Tastes crossed with Smells, and Music to move a Mountain.  We all perceive the world differently, how you see and feel things is different to everyone else.  Life is a rich tapestry of weird and wonderful colours, sights and smells... except for Olives, you can keep those.