As last days came through to past after a long battle you left. I'm not sad I am happy your not in pain anymore. People that cared have stuck around and I have made so many great friends so thank you all who have stayed. I think I have fallen to the lowest point of my time at the moment but I know hopefully I can bounce back...
You sit there on the swing between shade and light,
The brighter the sun shines the darker the shade becomes,
You don't tell anyone because of the feeling of confusion,
Internal wars have no winners just losers and casualties,
I learnt to not fight with them it never makes it better,
I learnt to stand with them and deal with them logically,
Cries are needed they don't make you weak,
Don't try and dance with them they will make you look like you have two left feet,
tripping and falling making more mistakes then needed,
Instead communicate and show them that you are here and there's no leaving.
I have suffered with schizophrenia and abuse from a farther and this is nothing I am ashamed of. I am proud of what I have became and I won't ever let it fail me.
The wind and gust fills the fickle leaves as they crinkle and crisp the soft tune playing through them,
The snaps and cracks of twigs disguising the sound of your foot steps,
The beating of your chest starting to thud and pound as your breath hitches,
The darkness revealing nothing at distance but everything close,
The little water droplets starting to form on your face,
The sound of chasing,
The clench of your fist,
Echo's running into the distance.
I often wonder how unhappy people are. The streams of tears that happen most nights. The way they feel unwanted or unforgiven. I respect the noises I hear at night the pounding on the walls of my brain, the constant battle and fighting with the unwanted voice. I ache for the attention of them voices to, always thriving me and proving them wrong. Watching my every turn as I make them see the fights I put up with and win constantly. I react moments I wish I did better but I know it all leads to a path somewhere and some how I know I will be fine.