I have the worst poker face. I remember my first Dom would try to train me not to smile in anticipation. I think he thought it was bratty. We would try me listening to a song that would stir up images for me and see if I could look at the camera throughout the song without smiling. NIN - Closer was his choice and man, I could only make it about 10-20 seconds. I'm still like that. It's not because I'm bratty, I just don't have a poker face.
I imagine if we spoke via video chat you would likely see me smile alot...but that's just me. I have a hard time...work is the worst. I struggle to maintain a professional face in front of my clients. I have had to work very hard at it because I had to demand respect from them in order to create order and understanding. My subordinates to take me seriously when I'm not smiling, but quite honestly, it's rare. I suppose if I take a minute to reflect, that's probably the babygirl coming out.
Since I am separated, I kind of feel single, not dating. No way can that happen right now. But I do notice that I let my submissive side out a little more. I feel like Uncle Joe after Thanksgiving dinner that loosened his pants after Thanksgiving. Being bound up that way to just let loose is very gratifying. I also feel like it brings out the predator in me (I have always kind of felt like a switch deep down). Case in point...
My company finally opened it's doors to the public. We have been operating not open to the public but available to services. We have been in the office. Although I must say I have enjoyed wearing my loungewear to work, it was nice to put on a full face and my dress clothes...okok perhaps my lipstick was my favorite. Not only had it been a long time since I've dress for work, but the sexual tension is running strong with me.
My Purple Promise (google this, I don't want to say the company name) delivery driver came in. We have had a working relationship for three years. We have gotten to be very good friends. We even exchanged numbers once so I could let him know when I was at the office during the lockdown. He was in the office and we were talking about the virus (refuse to use the full name). We shared conspiracies, I bounced my crazy ideas off him and vice versa. We finished up our talk and out the door he went. Not 3 seconds later there's a ping on my phone, "you drive me crazy". Holy fuck, it was my delivery driver! I totally apologized and stated that I know my ideas are insane and I have a lot of them. But that's not what he meant. He found me sexy!
Ok let's stop here. I have never placed myself in the sexy category. People do not flirt with me. My subordinates, yes, but not me. But I'm a horrible flirt so I would likely not even notice if someone was...they would literally have to hit me over the head with a shovel and tell me!
Dang, I mean, I always thought he was cute. I'm a sucker for beards and all. He then tells me that I was biting my lip and staring at his crotch. The fuck you say. I went so red, I was so embarrassed. I don't know let Heather (apparently my alter ego) out. But fuck Heather! She didn't have to do me like that. Apparently Heather isn't getting any. I thought, well, at least we have to wear masks so I will just keep it on when he comes into the office next time. I hid most of yesterday, but wouldn't you know it. The Purple Promise showed up today...sneaks up behind me in my office and what happens? Heather stares at his crotch again. I mean...Heather, the least you could have done was kneel! I could barely look him in the eyes...I'm sure I was 1392 shades of red.
But truly, Heather and I have got to have a talk. It's a good laugh tho...oui, the joys, yeah?