Turns out, all that talk about our kinky selves collectively being mentally messed up is a load of BS! Research shows those in the bdsm lifestyle are just as mentally sound as the normies, actually as a community we're better off then those losers. We rate higher on self-esteem, lower neuroticism, less likely to suffer from rejection, etc. Now, this won't come as a surprise to many who have been in the lifestyle for any period of time, but to me since I'm an outlier and neurotic af it was eye opening.
So maybe I jumped the gun a bit. I started writing this thinking we all had some mental issues to stomp out. Turns out, I might be the one who needs therapy the most! (don't worry, I'm working on it). I ended up with a big list of books, but I'll start with 3 and the rest will go to my master list when I ever bother to publish or read all the books :p
I don't believe you when you tell me you perfect, so these books can help anyone to improve a bit. Conquer your thoughts so we can conquer the world, is that what we're doing? I forgot our goal here today ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Real reveiews can be found on amazon ;)
Fuck Feelings by Bennett
In our world we like power and control, but the desire itself can be harmful if we're desiring it when it's not possible. We have no real control over most things in our lives. This book and most good ones in the self help genre advocate paying attention to what we can control and what we can't. That we can't control don't worry about it, understand that it's ok not to be in control in fact you can't be almost any of the time.
Cognitive Behavior Thereapy Made Simple, Gillihan
CBT is a type of therapy often used to combat against depression and anxiety. It is becoming more aware of your thoughts, finding errors and correcting errors. The assumption is that thoughts produce emotions, changing your thoughts will change your emotional state making it less likely to react or impulsively behave.
Unfu*k Yourself, Bishop
This book goes over how expectations make us miserable, and to be happy content we should look at our expectations and ground them in reality. You can't control what others think, what they do, whether it'll really be sunny today, etc. Just go with the flow and stop being a miserable cunt!
Resources
Wismeijer, Andreas & Assen, Marcel. (2013). Psychological Characteristics of BDSM Practitioners. The journal of sexual medicine. 10. 10.1111/jsm.12192.
"The results mostly suggest favorable psychological characteristics of BDSM practitioners compared with
the control group; BDSM practitioners were less neurotic, more extraverted, more open to new experiences, more
conscientious, less rejection sensitive, had higher subjective well-being, yet were less agreeable..."
https://www.thebody.com/article/kink-and-mental-health Feb 25, 2021
By Gigi Engle
"As we mentioned above, BDSM is not just for trauma healing. It is accessible for anyone and everyone who wants to play. For those who practice, BDSM helps foster a sense of overall well-being. It can help with improved confidence, the release of sexual shame, community building, and greater self-esteem."
