A day in the life of me

My friends keep telling me that there's "someone for everyone" and to "stop looking for it and let it come to you"

I never went looking. It always came to me and without fail, I always get played, my time and effort is wasted. I never looked for someone to take me for granted, I never went looking for someone to give me the run around or treat me like... a game...

It's like a Venus Fly Trap. They act all sweet, they act kind, they play this roll and as soon as I let my guard down then BAM the rug is pulled from under me. Then I'm left to look like an idiot, a clown, a whole circus. But I can't get upset because then I'm being emotional. Crazy right?

I see all my family and friends with their person, their partners, their friends, their supports and I honestly feel jealous. I'm so happy but so jealous, I'd never want anyone to feel how I've been feeling recently. the combination of sadness, loneliness, anger, jealousy, disgust, pain, and so much more going on inside and no one to talk to about it.

I'm going to take some time for me. I'm choosing to be there for me because I can't expect anyone else to be, so I'm going to be off of here for a bit. When I return I should be in much better spirits, maybe at a beach somewhere haha. Wish me luck you all.

Until next time,

AnnonBrat.

Today sucks for me. My job sucks on Monday because there's no help, I'm having health issues, cramping, my boss is being an idiot doing last minute changes to the menu, then to top it all off I burned two of my fingers. Now I just want to go home at cry but it's only 4:15pm as I'm typing this and I get out at 7pm.

I just want to go home, take a long shower, and get some TLC like cuddles and kisses and stuff but well... Honestly I'll most likely be home alone again so maybe I'll just treat myself to a home cooked meal and go to bed early.

Today hasn't been the best...

We all know that song by Luther Vandross, Never Too Much. It's one of my favorites along with Isn't She Lovely by Stevie Wonder.

I like how clearly they express how they feel, songs so full of love, it's refreshing.

Sometimes I find myself wishing to find someone who feels that way towards me. I never dwell on it for too long because I'll get sad haha 

What music do y'all like to listen to? I love receiving song recommendations

This post is just basically what's been occupying my brain and I'd love to hear some thoughts other than my own haha. Here goes.

How can you tell if someone actually wants you around but also if you can't tell, isn't that your answer right there? If you can't tell right away, yes, then... is it a no?

I can't tell the difference between my trust issues and my intuition anymore... I get them mixed up quite often.. 

Why is it when I express to someone that I like something that they do they, then, begin to do the exact opposite?

Why is it so hard to get answers about anything these days?

Why is rent in New Jersey so high?

How do I know when I'm being too clingy?

Am I too affectionate? is that even a thing? lol

Why is the traffic in New Jersey so bad? 

Why do people in New Jersey drive like they're on the rainbow road in Mario Kart?

I don't know, these are just a few things. A few serious, a few jokes but all on my mind lol 

I don't know how to begin this blog post so I'll hop right into it.

I'm kind of new to the lifestyle, not by much but still learning. I have had three dynamics and a few failed talking stages in the past six years.

What I've learned is that it's hard (for me) to find someone who can offer me what I need in a dynamic. I need someone who I can feel safe with, no pressure, caring, affectionate, a leader, a listener, a friend, but also at the end of the day my Dom. I love romance, I love affection, I like the cheesy stuff haha but a pattern I keep running into is when I meet a guy interested in "affection" as well they mean affection to their privates and any kind of affection I need (hugs, cuddling, etc.) is too much to ask.

Even when I communicate it clearly my needs as a submissive are never met or met for a day and then not again for weeks. It's discouraging. I know that I want to continue submitting but to who? I feel like a feral cat looking for my forever home LOL I cannot be tamed! Okay but all jokes aside I'm just so ... In a way I guess you could say that I'm a little lost.

My journey into submission is rough right now and it has me ready to turn tail and run but that's not who I am as a person or as a sub. Life (and the lifestyle) will have its many challenges and it's up to me to overcome and grow from it. Wish me luck...

A lot of people say that because I'm young I don't know what I want but I know for a fact that I want to remain in the lifestyle.

I love being a Sub, I love to serve, simple as that, and I know that's what I want and that's what I'll do. Lately I feel that my kindness as a submissive has fallen on some unkind people and maybe it's time to take a break?

Honestly, the title says it all.

I'm still fairly new to this and I want to know if there are rules to this kind of thing. Does having feelings for your Dom as a Submissive make the bond stronger? Weaker? How do you think it affects scenes and punishments?

I'm open to all perspectives, I'd love to learn as much as I can so I know how to protect my feelings as a sensitive bratty lovergirl 😂

Would love to hear from all of you,

-AnnonBrat

Sometimes I stop watching tv shows or movies because I feel like there's too much going on for me to keep up with.

I say that because I think one of my biggest concerns is that the same thing will happen to me. I'm often stand-offish with people trying to know me because I know what a crazy life I have, and I fear that once others see it they'll stop talking to me like I stop watching those tv shows lol

I also find it hard to get to know people because I can't look ahead like I can when I'm reading a book and want to get a sneak peek at what's coming next. Relationships (platonic, romantic, dynamic, etc.) will always make me overthink because I know how easily I get attached to someone and I try to gauge the timing so I don't move too fast, but try pumping the breaks on an asteroid.

Life as I'm living it right now is all very new to me coming out of the situation that I used to be in, and I'm very grateful for the guidance that I have helping me through all of this. On one hand, I'm looking forward to what's coming next. On the other hand, my overthinking is asking "how long until they leave me too?" As a realist trying to be optimistic I tell myself to shut the hell up and be happy in the moment and don't think too much about what's coming, because that's how anxiety starts.

I don't know, this is just how my mind works.

More to come.

-AnnonBrat

That's it.

It's just January and so much has happened in my life that I don't know where to begin.

2026 is giving me a run for my money, truthfully I find times like these to be an excellent test to see how far I can push myself as a young adult. It's not easy, it never is but I can't let that drag me down, even though it has for a moment but as a brat I refuse to be held down! I'm not going down without a fight so wish me luck and I hope y'all are having a smoother transition into this year than I am.

We got this!

Congratulations to everyone for making it to the new year!

Here's to a new year and new journeys ahead of us.

Have fun out there and be safe : )