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Splashes of Sparkle

Splashing sparkles of creativity and expression, riding this beautiful roller coaster of a journey. My journey is mine- not yours-it is not necessary for you to understand. If you want a glimpse, come on in.?
4 days ago. Fri 13 Sep 2019 01:36:11 AM IDT

Currently feeling very consumed....

Feeling swallowed up by the waves.

It has been a LONG week. A lot has happened in a short period of time. Not all bad, some very amazing moments, yet definitely left feeling overwhelmed. I relate to this song so very strongly...

 

And as I'm overwhelmed, I go back to this song. Its fun to sing and harmonize to! That is therapeutic to me. And the romantic side of me shines through. That fairy tale side perhaps.

💖💖

Recently a Dom here on Cage told me one of the biggest mistakes he sees subs make is developing feelings for their Dom. That D/s isn't like regular relationships. And while on one hand I fully understand what he is saying, if I am not operating in a way that includes my feelings and emotions, D/s or not, then everyone involved misses out on part of what makes me sparkle. I operate with and from my heart. I feel deeply.

 I will end with this..how a heart can be so happy and so sad all at once, I don't believe I will ever know. Its ok to cry. Its ok to feel deeply.

Maybe one day I will understand...maybe...

*breathe Sparks, breathe"- 

"I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance...."

 

1 month ago. Tue 13 Aug 2019 11:51:11 PM IDT

I saw this today, and after recent experiences here on Cage, the words resonate loudly.

I am tired. I am worn out. I have added another padlock and more bars to my tower. I apparently expect too much...

 

1 month ago. Wed 31 Jul 2019 02:38:58 PM IDT

At first I was not going to post this. I mean, it seems silly. However, life is too short to worry about that. Things around here need some Sparkly happiness anyway. :)

 I want to celebrate with my friends! So come on in, grab a drink, some food and have fun. I would say behave yourself, but....😘

 

 

1 month ago. Sun 28 Jul 2019 06:50:16 AM IDT

At the Dungeon tonight, just feeling lost. Kinda sad tonight. My thoughts are jumbled, yet I need to get them out. Lucky you!

I can't put my finger on it exactly, though I have a few ideas.

This blog post has been brewing for some time. I feel "broken". Those insecurities exacerbated by people that tell me I am important, but words only extend so far.  I realize, like most people, when I feel safe and secure I am more authentically me than when I do not feel that. My whole attitude is different.

-i have also heard that I simply don't try enough or hard enough. Anyone who knows me even a little knows that statements like that are a kick to my very inner core-the deepest parts. It is devastating. You have NO IDEA! Submission and service are deep for me. 

  If you are lucky enough that I tell you my fears-stomping on them, making fun of them, and especially minimizing or disregarding them...none of that will help you. At all. Ask some here who really know me.... My fears are delicate and gentle and fragile.

-lets talk about sex...if in the first 10 minutes sex gets brought up in a conversation, I usually mentally check out. I have a hard enough time with people I really trust, let alone someone that i have exchanged 4 sentences and maybe 20 words.

RACK OFF HAIRY LEGS! Seriously!

  And again...to the people in the back.....captivate my mind first! For the love of all things good....seriously. Don't try to captivate me with talks of sex...makes me want to vomit and I feel 50 shades of broken and awful. Even now I am wiping a tear from my eye...ugh....tears. They are sparkly tears of course :) 

The night is going to be long...i feel like I don't belong around here anymore...though I feel like I'm broken, I know that I'm not. I am me. I am sparkly 💖 and I am beautiful. none of this makes me weak. Nope!

Think again Batman!

1 month ago. Fri 19 Jul 2019 06:27:24 PM IDT

 

My message...my heart. 💖 too many people tearing down. Too much preying on insecurities. 

Happy ✨ Sparkly Friday :)

2 months ago. Sun 30 Jun 2019 07:37:31 AM IDT

to all the wild women here....thank you for being part of my life. 💖

2 months ago. Thu 20 Jun 2019 11:42:32 PM IDT

It amazes me that communication is so difficult. Recently I was starting to feel I had found a safe place to land, but... The block button was placed upon me instead. I get the frustration. I get being sad, but may I suggest communication and the opportunity to talk or work through things? The block button allows for zero advancement in the communication department...

Communication is hard. It can and should be challenging sometimes, especially when looking for depth of any kind. And please, I invite you to join me in the deep end. Swim. Adventure. Grow.Authenticity is where it's at....and the only place you will find my submission.

***By no means is this a soapbox I stand and proclaim my perfection...the farthest thing from it. I make mistakes too. I suck at communication sometimes. It is a reminder to myself as well.***

 

3 months ago. Sat 15 Jun 2019 06:13:51 PM IDT

As i woke up this morning, my eyes barely open to the wonder of today, I realized something. I DO NOT do sexy very well....if at all. In fact, when i try to DO sexy, i can only picture something like a chimpanzee in a tutu dancing off beat and badly to rap music while singing a lullaby. Good times 🙄

***I can hear certain people in my life already lecturing or kindly pointing out "you are better than this." "I'll not participate in you tearing yourself down" Trust me...keep reading 💗***

Now that the chimpanzee is dancing around in your head, let me explain. I do not DO sexy very well. It is awkward and i just don't seem to get it. But the reason is because sexy isn't something that you DO. It is who you are. It is a frame of mind. It is believing what your partner says about you being sexy and embracing it. It is an attitude! 

I am not in any way tearing myself down.

The very best sexy a person can be is to be authentic and to be themselves. Be authentic. Be you! 

 

 

3 months ago. Mon 03 Jun 2019 04:52:04 AM IDT

Yesterday was so awesome. It was my one year anniversary of going locally to the Dungeon to play. If I look back over the last year it often feels like its been a lifetime. I am so very happy I stepped up and took that time to go there. 

Yesterday was also awesome because I met another Cage friend...in person. She has been a good friend almost since I joined last year. I have always admired her love for all ropey things.  So not only did we get to meet in person, she came to the Dungeon with me :)  AND we had a scene together! And she did Ropey things to me.it 

 

 

 

It was such a great evening. We laughed. We played. We had fun. I'm fairly certain I talked her ear off. I am so thankful to have her in my life. 

The rope and knots on my shin----ooooh 😍😍 the knots on my shin. The rope that held my hands behind my head. The wooden paddle. The flogger. Your drum set skills. Playing this Little Piggy. Hahaha that was all great (hmmmm Yes Please) all of that was awesome. I cannot wait to do it again, but the most important knot is that friendship. That is the knot(s) that really knits it all together. Love ya Ropey Lady! Thanks again

 

4 months ago. Fri 17 May 2019 07:38:17 PM IDT