to all the wild women here....thank you for being part of my life. 💖
It amazes me that communication is so difficult. Recently I was starting to feel I had found a safe place to land, but... The block button was placed upon me instead. I get the frustration. I get being sad, but may I suggest communication and the opportunity to talk or work through things? The block button allows for zero advancement in the communication department...
Communication is hard. It can and should be challenging sometimes, especially when looking for depth of any kind. And please, I invite you to join me in the deep end. Swim. Adventure. Grow.Authenticity is where it's at....and the only place you will find my submission.
***By no means is this a soapbox I stand and proclaim my perfection...the farthest thing from it. I make mistakes too. I suck at communication sometimes. It is a reminder to myself as well.***
As i woke up this morning, my eyes barely open to the wonder of today, I realized something. I DO NOT do sexy very well....if at all. In fact, when i try to DO sexy, i can only picture something like a chimpanzee in a tutu dancing off beat and badly to rap music while singing a lullaby. Good times 🙄
***I can hear certain people in my life already lecturing or kindly pointing out "you are better than this." "I'll not participate in you tearing yourself down" Trust me...keep reading 💗***
Now that the chimpanzee is dancing around in your head, let me explain. I do not DO sexy very well. It is awkward and i just don't seem to get it. But the reason is because sexy isn't something that you DO. It is who you are. It is a frame of mind. It is believing what your partner says about you being sexy and embracing it. It is an attitude!
I am not in any way tearing myself down.
The very best sexy a person can be is to be authentic and to be themselves. Be authentic. Be you!
Yesterday was so awesome. It was my one year anniversary of going locally to the Dungeon to play. If I look back over the last year it often feels like its been a lifetime. I am so very happy I stepped up and took that time to go there.
Yesterday was also awesome because I met another Cage friend...in person. She has been a good friend almost since I joined last year. I have always admired her love for all ropey things. So not only did we get to meet in person, she came to the Dungeon with me :) AND we had a scene together! And she did Ropey things to me.it
It was such a great evening. We laughed. We played. We had fun. I'm fairly certain I talked her ear off. I am so thankful to have her in my life.
The rope and knots on my shin----ooooh 😍😍 the knots on my shin. The rope that held my hands behind my head. The wooden paddle. The flogger. Your drum set skills. Playing this Little Piggy. Hahaha that was all great (hmmmm Yes Please) all of that was awesome. I cannot wait to do it again, but the most important knot is that friendship. That is the knot(s) that really knits it all together. Love ya Ropey Lady! Thanks again
This morning I wanted to send a greeting to someone. I like doing that, to bring a smile to someone's face. I like letting people know that they are in my thoughts. A small gesture that can mean a great deal.
However, I realized something minutes after I sent the greeting.
"Good morning. Happy Thursday"
...except its NOT Thursday! At least not in the timezone I live in. 😂
It was a reminder to me that I need to slow down. I dont know about you, but I can easily get ahead of myself, allowing my brain to spin in unnecessary circles of worry and axiety that zoom into the future. I need to stay in the moment...this moment. Today. Sometimes I have people in my life to help me with that, and I am thankful. I still need to remind myself too.
It is also a reminder for everyone to slow down. Don't get ahead of yourself. There is no hurry. Slowing down may mean less hurts and also more meaningful connections with people. That submissive you seem dead set on catching (ewww...but that's for another blog), that Dom you so desperately want to be with (Here's a secret....that kind of desperation is not a good color on you Darling)...slow down. That feeling of missing something because you don't have a partner doesn't mean you should rush at the first one that wants to swoop you up. I have learned, for me, the best connections are the ones that happen organically.
Happy Wednesday, friends!
I will be back to writing and sharing soon. But this made me smile :)
deep breaths....find the rainbow....there is always a sparkle, sometimes it is just harder to see.
my feelings lately....fish out of water here at the Cage.
Not "thin enough"
Not "sexy enough"
Not "smart enough"
Not "strong enough"
Not "open enough"
Not "thinking about sex enough"
Not "kinky enough"
Not "caring enough"
Or "good enough until better comes along"
Too strong, too modest, too controlling, too fat...too happy, too positive
And on and on and on
Not enough yet too much.