What does a good girl look like? How do you define being a good girl.?
A recent series of messages, I was asked if I was being a good girl.
My answer, well duhhhhh....🤣
The person didn't believe me, said they know me too well... hmmmm
It got me thinking, my definition of being a good girl, and their definition of being a good girl..... well they may just be very- different.
So again, how do YOU define good girl?
Did you know that BDSM is not all about sex? Does not have to include sex?
For many dynamics and play partners, sure, sex is a real and vibrant part of it. But it doesn't have to be. For some sex never ever enters the picture.
I remember when I first started going out to the dungeon, I would be so confused that people thought I went to a sex party. That was the immediate assumption. Or when people ask how turned on I get during impact play. It simply is different for everyone. Am I a sexual being? I would like to think so. And with the right partner(s), sure.
Thank you for coming to my sparkly TedTalk 💖 go out there, do what works for you. Stay safe. Practice enthusiastic consent
Apparently I felt compelled to share a very similar message October 2021...
From the time I first joined this website, back in 2018, I have found myself reading personal ads. Not because I am looking for anything, but I have always been intrigued.i think it's a great exercise in "people watching"...well, you know what I mean.
I do wonder at some of the more extreme ads and...um...demands. this is not me "yucking your yum". Not at all. And yes it's better to be up front so people have an idea of who you are, where you are going, what you want etc.... however it's some of those same ads that I see all the time, and have seen since the beginning. Like the same ad, year after year...🤦♀️🙊🙈 not finding a willing victim there Master Jerkface?
I also get a good giggle. I know, and have known, I am not going to be everyone's cup of tea. Being a very curvy and overweight woman, believe me, I KNOW! (not as curvy and overweight as I was. I am back on track, 4-5 mornings at 4:30am in the gym, down over 100 pounds since October 2021! Go me!) I got a Giggle today though when I was ruled out of an ad because of my age. (Again, not like I am looking, nor would I reply) I'm an old lady, folks.. 🙊🙊🙊🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 my 42 year old sparkly self is too old. Hehe I don't think of myself as old. Ha. Not even close. Then again, I'm not really into robbing the cradle. And I mean, I'm old enough to be somebody's mama. Ha
Ok, I'll rap up my ramblings for now.
Have a sparkly day. 💖
Or not.....
Just a friendly reminder that some people do not want a dynamic that is sexual in any way. Non sexual Domination and Submission are both very real.
💖
I TRIED TO TELL YOU! I really did!
I am socially awkward. Well, not really socially awkward as much as "flirt and seduction" awkward. Sexy awkward. In fact, I would likely rank up there and get an award MOST AWKWARD of the Sparkly Princesses in the category of Sexy talk, flirting and seduction...especially when it is someone that I have only just connected with. All of those things need connection for me. (Even then I am not very adept at it)
I tried to tell you....I really did.
Let me digress and go back in time a bit. In high school my Geometry teacher told me that I would never amount to much in my life because I couldn't see things in 3-dimensionally in my mind. *Definitely not life giving words to say to anyone, let alone a 14 year old girl!* To this day areas of space and spacial awareness are not my strong point. You know how there are people that you can give them dimensions of a particular object and they can just immediately see it in their mind? Yeah, that isn't me. 😄 Just not how my brain is wired i guess. This carries over into my own views of how i see my fluffy self and the space and place that i occupy around me. If I happen upon a sexy story or blog, I am often left with more confusion trying to figure out how certain things are even physically possible. In my own experience and through my own lens of understanding, with my own personal body, i just can't picture it.
So, that's nice and all, but what is the point? I was reminded last night of what my math teacher told me because in a very new connection and conversation with someone on this site, they told me to picture them doing "x, y, z...." So, my own brain kicked in and my thoughts came out with my own version of "Yeah, that doesn't really work around here". Sigh.🤦♀️
My response was me being vulnerable. My response was me being honest. My response showed my own insecurities. My response was mine....but, apparently it was not well received. Was it the best response? nope. Could i learn to be in a moment and respond differently, perhaps. Apparently it was a "Kick in the nuts" and actually brought about the end of communications with a "you are released to pursue your dreams".
Umm....ok, thanks? released to pursue my dreams, like go to sleep? it was nighttime you know. lol 🙊🤣😉
I kinda was left a bit stunned and shocked....not even an hour earlier i was told that they were very convinced I was going to become their sub, under contract, protocols, the whole 9 yards. An hour earlier i was told that they could bring out the confident side in me.
I still shake my head just thinking about it.
Look Gentlemen, Daddies, Masters, and the Domliest Doms that ever did Dom....if my vulnerabilities, honesty, and insecurities make you feel like i kicked you in your nuts and hurt your ego or something, THE PROBLEM DOESN'T LIE WITH ME. I don't care if you have 20 years experience in those ways. If i ever do find myself in a position to submit to someone, it will be because i TRUST them with my vulnerabilities. It will be because I can be honest with my feelings and thoughts. It will be because I know my insecurities are safe with that person. It will be with someone that takes time to get to know me, understands me, gets inside my head....which, p.s. takes time. lots of time. It takes time, connection, and honestly some hard work. :)
Oh, and again, just being on a "bondage site" in NO WAY demands that anyone give you a a title of any kind. In a dynamic yes, but until that point, nope.
Again..sometimes I REALLY wonder what I am doing around these parts.
Stay sparkly my friends. 💖 don't take it personally when people don't "get it". Even in all my own "stuff" i am still not broken...and neither are you!
Ha. Reminded again why I am not here to pursue anything. Seriously.
It's laughable....send a pic...."oh you have a pretty face" ....and then conversation dies. Or after telling someone I am not a tiny woman by any stretch of the imagination....they ask for more pics. So you do and then they just bottom Out, ghost, etc
Well, to the dopes and the jokes....the joke is really on you. Not Me! You see, yes, I do have a pretty face. Thank you very much. A pretty face with eyes so full of compassion, empathy, and love that you can't bear to look at them very long because maybe you are afraid it's contagious 🤣.
A smile that hides a lot.
Also, telling me that you know you are hotter than my husband (yes, I'm here ethically, husband knows...). How would you know? Do you truly believe you are God's gift to mankind with your looks? It does tell me a lot about someone. I would never want someone who would consider talking down about people that I care deeply for.
Character is far more important to me. That is how you sparkle!
P.s. my "pretty face"is no longer available for viewing. My sparkle is not dulled by any of this. Nope. I just refuse to allow any of the negative Crayola in...
Oh Cage....I am most amused. Popped back in after a time away...
Some things don't change. The cheaters and the liars are still here, same old story, different name. Even using the same pictures. Lol
while I could find myself hurt by some things I see, No darling. Not today.I'll pass.
You clearly lack authenticity.
My melody will play on.....and so will yours.
I honestly don't know why I am back. I don't really know my place here anymore. I question my place in kink as well. Maybe life is shifting, maybe priorities and needs have changed. I don't know for sure....
Perhaps it is simply for relationships....not dynamics, not romantic, no no. I mean friendships I miss those
But hello to all of you. Stay kind. Stay on guard...
Stay sparkly
Have you ever been blocked by someone here on cage, but 100% have no idea why?! I have...it was bizarre when it happened. And it still strikes me as bizarre now when I can't comment on their blog post 🤣
However, it isn't something I lose sleep wondering about. Honestly, just because I would like to know what happened, doesn't mean I will ever get that privilege. :)
Maybe I am simply "too sparkly"....and that is ok too.
Yet, I will always wonder....
Helping me reach my greatest potential in serving has NOTHING to do with your dick!
I am not declaring that I am suddenly into women.
I am simply saying that it isn't ALL about dick, and it certainly is not where we need to START a conversation.
SPARKLE ON...💖💖
We all know those people that say "when i have kids they will never do _______". Of course, fast forward to when they have kids one day. Often the very things that were loudly proclaimed as NEVER have suddenly happened right before their eyes.
For example, my Uncle was determined that his kids would never play sports on Sunday. And if a game was on Sunday his kids would not be allowed to play because they had to go to church. Again, fast forward a few years and his son is involved in many sports through the year. And you guessed it, Sunday is prime time for sportsball games.
So, why am I talking about sports all and my cousin on my blog HERE? No, there is no kinky twist (and if there is, I dont know about it. Its my cousin! Lol) However, I think the lesson is applicable. I know personally on my kink journey I have had many moments of "no way, not happening, yeah right" that turned into something I enjoy. I remember when the thought of needles made me uncomfortable.. but then I paired off with the right person to bring me that experience. I havent done it since, but i am also not opposed to it either.
**Change and growth are not bad things. Truly. It is also ok AND healthy to have limits that you won't cross. Not all limits are meant to be changed. **
I guess I just want to encourage you to be willing to try the new thing. Be willing to think differently. In the hands of the right person, you can do or be things that you never thought possible. 💖 (or never would have admitted you wanted to be a part of)