The Inner Workings of A Serial Submissive

my brain and

heart divorced

 

a decade ago

over who was

to blame about

how big of a mess

I have become

 

eventually,

they couldn't be 

in the same room

with each other 

now my head and heart 

share custody of me

 

I stay with my brain 

during the week

and my heart 

gets me on weekends

they never speak to one another

 

    - instead, they give me

the same note to pass

to each other every week 

 

and their notes they

send to one another always 

says the same thing:

"This is all your fault"

on Sundays

my heart complains

about how my 

head has let me down

in the past

 

and on Wednesday

my head lists all

of the times my 

heart has screwed

things up for me 

in the future

they blame each

other for the 

state of my life

 

there's been a lot

of yelling - and crying

 

so,

 

    lately, I've been

spending a lot of 

time with my gut

 

who serves as my

unofficial therapist

 

most nights, I sneak out of the

window in my ribcage

 

and slide down my spine

and collapse on my 

gut's plush leather chair

that's always open for me

 

~ and I just sit sit sit sit

until the sun comes up

 

last evening, 

my gut asked me

if I was having a hard

time being caught 

between my heart

and my head

 

I nodded

 

I said I didn't know

if I could live with 

either of them anymore

 

"my heart is always sad about

something that happened yesterday

while my head is always worried

about something that may happen tomorrow," 

I lamented

 

my gut squeezed my hand

 

"I just can't live with

my mistakes of the past

or my anxiety about the future,"

I sighed

my gut smiled and said:

 

"in that case, 

you should 

go stay with your 

lungs for a while,"

 

I was confused

  - the look on my face gave it away

 

"if you are exhausted about

your heart's obsession with

the fixed past and your mind's focus

on the uncertain future

 

your lungs are the perfect place for you

 

there is no yesterday in your lungs

there is no tomorrow there either

 

there is only now

there is only inhale

there is only exhale

there is only this moment

 

there is only breath

 

and in that breath

you can rest while your

heart and head work 

their relationship out."

 

this morning,

while my brain

was busy reading

tea leaves

 

and while my

heart was staring

at old photographs 

 

I packed a little

bag and walked

to the door of 

my lungs

 

before I could even knock

she opened the door

with a smile and as

a gust of air embraced me

she said

 

"what took you so long?"

 

   ~ John Roedel (johnroedel.com)

library/dungeon and now storm cellar.  
It’s definitely become a multipurpose room.  lol

 

 

I find it interesting how many medical professionals are into BDSM.  

Are we perverts because we are in medicine, or are we in medicine because we are perverts?

 

😁

 

 

food for thought today

I’ve heard tell that it’s fun and tasty.  It looks sweet and enticing. I’m excited and my mouth is watering.  

I can’t wait to dig in….but which one!

 

So many to choose from.

 

 They all look different and special in their own way.

 

 

How do you pick?

 

 

 

One of my coworkers just couldn’t wait.   lol. 😛

I now know that there is something worse than being called a bad girl. I don’t get called that very often, but maybe it didn’t hold the same meaning as it once did. I used to get really upset and cry when I was called a bad girl.  Now I don’t like it, but I don’t get overly worked up about it.

There was a tiny infraction last night, one that I may repeat often, and I was ordered to bend over the bed and Daddy wrote on my back and ass with the big permanent marker. He doesn’t  mark me as punishment. It’s usually a good thing and I look at His marks as soon as I can to admire them.

I was caught off guard with my markings this time!   Instead of a sexy reminder that I am Daddy’s, it states that I am old and forgetful. As always His initials and a heart are at the bottom and I know that He was just trying to startle me out of my complacency…..but damn!  lol

 

I may have pouted just a little, but the markings stay on until tonight’s shower.

 

 

 

 

I would probably come with a pretty cape and handcuffs……😁

I left work a little early today as the weather was getting bad and I hate to be on icy roads. Snow and sleet were coming down so heavy, I could barely see anything.  As I was driving, I heard and felt a large boom.   At first I thought there was an accident or something of the sort close by. A few moments later the sky filled with lightning and the boom happened again.  

I have never seen lightning during a snow storm.  It was oddly beautiful and freaky at the same time.  Of course I had to look it up and it’s called a thundersnow and it only happens around 6 times a year, or at least that is how many times people report it each year.  

my neighbor took this picture 

 

What does a masochistic RN do on Valentine’s Day, you ask.  Does she get extra spankings from her Daddy? Or maybe an extra sexy task to get a kinky reward?

Oh no, she takes an all day Advanced Cardiac Life Support class, that’s what she does!

 

                            HAPPY VD!