The same mundane day. Get off work at 6am. Sleep until 6pm because it’s one of my “days off.” Eat some random snacks. Clean the house. Repeat.
“How are you?” Bored. Tired. Miserable. Searching for something that doesn’t feel like I will ever find. But I say “I’m doing okay, how are you?” Because it’s polite and it’s what people expect.
I used to want somebody to save me. I would dream that one day I would wake up and he would be there, reaching for me, telling me it’s okay. He’d take me away, lock me up, and handle everything for me. All I had to do was exist. In my perfect world. Life isn’t fair. The same mantra that’s been repeated to me since I was a kid. Why can’t it be fair? Why can’t somebody save me? Take me away from this…whatever this is. Why is that too much to ask?
I’m ranting. It’s what I do when anyone will listen. Sometimes I feel like Rapunzel, but truthfully I could only hope to be like her.
Is that crazy?
- Amaya