The rambling muttering of an old man.

This one is mostly about health issues and the battle to accept and overcome them.  A lot of you already know about my battle with Factor 5 Leiden. A rare blood disorder in the Thrombophilia end of the hematological spectrum. Basically,  the opposite of hemophilia ( the bleeders ). Without large doses of blood thinners,  my blood will thicken until my heart cannot pump it ... this comes with some side-effects like capillary ruptures and tissue starvation from lack of oxygenated blood.  The resulting damage is permanent and effect every tissue including bone, heart and brain.  Prior to Factor 5 going active,  I was approximately 215 pounds ... I  wasn't aware I had it at that time. I just noticed I was gaining weight Very fast. One day, I got off work and didn't make it to my car. I came to in the VA hospital ER on oxygen.  2.5 weeks later, after Many tests, I was diagnosed with F5L.  I weighed 387 pounds.

About the time of my last blog, I was approximately 320 pounds. I was put on Elliquis and Jardiance to help fight the effects of diabetes induced by F5L.  Since that time, I've discovered Dr. Steven Gundry and Dr. Eric Berg.  And lost an additional 70 pounds.  When I was first diagnosed with F5L,  I was prescribed approximately 18 prescriptions.  I am down to 6. 

I tell you all of this so you understand the serious challenges I've faced when I say If I can do it, you can.  I will NEVER not be in pain or Healthy. But, I am much healthier today than I have been in over a decade.  And I will continue to work towards better health.  The further I go down this path, the better I feel and the easier it is to be healthier.  You can do this too.  You just have to want to. And, then you have to get started.  I retired to make my health my new career.  Not everyone can do this, I understand.  But you can do what you can to get healthier.  I haven't worked out.  I haven't been able to.  But, I've done what I could.  So can you.  I'm here if you need someone to talk to regarding health challenges and the lifestyle.  But Y/you have to decide to make the decision to do it.  Trust me, if I can do it, Y/you can.

Just a friendly reminder that Dees and eMs govern their dynamics with the consent of the esses.

Even Goreans know this. And, while I am not saying we are in effect lame ducks, we do need to remember that we need to be the kind of leader that esses Want to follow. Preferably, quality esses. So, in order to attract and keep these quality followers, we need to be quality leaders. Those of us who have served in the military have heard the phrase ... Lead by example.  If we expect effort from our esses, we should expect to make a greater effort as example.  If we are lazy, they will see this immediately and be quite rightfully upset that we deny them laziness.  

I use myself as example ... as these thoughts were brought about by my own examination of personal health issues.  Serious health issues.  These issues wrecked my health and threatened my life.  They caused me to almost double my weight in a few short years ... as well as forging me to retire from a rewarding career. I refused to accept that I would remain overweight and out of shape and worthless as a Master. Even if I can't work, I can lead.  Since I determined to fight the hand I'd been dealt, I have lost almost 100 pounds.  And in the past couple of months, instead of the 18 prescriptions I was on, I am down to an even dozen. I cannot repair the damage that Factor 5 has done, but I refuse to go out as a worthless M.  For now, I am most useful as an example of determination and a font of experience and knowledge in this lifestyle. 

So, to my fellow Dees and eMs I encourage you to lead by example and be the kind of person that attracts followers.

There is a belief in some camps that in M/s, all master's are selfish, domineering, flag ignoring jerks.

It is also believed that slaves are weak, unintelligent doormats (insert shudder).

And, all that may be true of some, but like those in other branches of this lifestyle ... It is only a percentage of the total.

We are all guilty of allowing the boundaries to become blurred. Speaking out ... Sharing our experiences is how return proper balance to this lifestyle. 45+ years ago, I began my path ... Back then, nobody came to their first meeting, class or event and declared themselves ANYTHING.  The very first thing I learned was that my actions, reactions, words and beliefs would tell the world who and what I was.  Novice wasn't a bad thing, it was a simple, honest statement. Everyone started out as a student.  If you weren't willing to be patient and learn, you weren't invited back. There was no time limit, you earned your reputation and title (bad or good) when you were ready to wear it, ast a time determined by your peers.  

Education and shared experience is how we right this ship. There are many more possibilities now than there were back then. We only need to offer and be prepared to follow through.  We don't need to be exclusionary, the uninterested will eventually go their own way.  

In my world, Masters accept without question that ownership equals responsibility.  We know that failure to accept responsibility is shameful and a black mark on our brothers and sisters.  It is our responsibility to train a slave how to please us.  If we don't want to invest the time, we don't accept the responsibility.  Slavery demands a strength beyond simple submission and as such is vastly more valuable to an owner.  

I will stop here for now to see where or if we will go on with this effort to right our ship.

I've known I was different since my teens ... And, thanks to Lord Colm and Jade, I've known since age 20 or so what that difference was.  I found a home on the fringes of Gor.  And, slowly continued my life-long path of refining me.  BUT ... through the past 45+ years, the single most important aspect of Every relationship I've participated in has been communication.  We all know that we are all different and have different needs and different ways of learning and processing information.  I am very glad for all those differences as I couldn't stand the boredom of everyone being identical.  Therefore, I gladly accept the challenge of blending two or more lives together. I'm 65 and Still trying to get it right .... to learn ... to improve myself and how I do me.  Nobody is perfect, or without fault ... and in case you're wondering what the purpose of life is, it's to help each other live the best life we can.  

Ok, now that the soap box is out of the way, let's talk about Communication.  Relationships are a process, success or failure depends mainly on communication ... although I must give a nod and a middle finger to Covid.  Some things are just beyond our control.  Learn from it and move on.   As a gorean and sadist, I am not in the habit of negotiating ... this making communication even more important.  But, one can be Dominant and Sadist without being a Dick Head.  Be patient and take the time to know each other well enough to fully communicate your needs and desires.  I've found that the masochists I've known all had different needs ... each was a unique flavor of masochism.  Learning an individual's uniqueness takes months ... even years ... Rushing into things is dangerous and risky.  And, doomed to failure. It takes time to learn how each other communicate ... how we interpret information and process it. If I hadn't had that damned TBI, I'd still be able to lay things out in a nice Power Point doc and present a nice neat "how to" paper for your consideration.  All I can do now is encourage others to take this ball and run with it ... Help each other learn to communicate better. Be patient. Don't be afraid to fail. And, for Pete's sake ... Ask Questions ... To each other ... To yourself ... But, not me ... J/k ... 🤠

Pacies for grown women?  I'm thinking of cutting the cuffs off an old button up shirt, to which I can sprinkle a drop of cologne and a gold chain I've worn to link the two cuffs. Purely a symbolic gesture of restraint ... But one laden with Man smell and symbolism.  Thoughts?

A recent post by Treasure reminded me of how often I would find my girl parading around the house in my button down shirt that I had worn to work that day. I asked her why and her response was ... Man smell ... I didn't sweat much in an air conditioned office but the Man smell she described as a combination of my cologne, my personal scent and the laundry detergent used to wash the shirt ... All this got me thinking of smells other women have told me reminded them of Man smell. 

So, my question to everyone is What is Man smell to you?  Is it one particular scent? Or, is it a combination? Is it a specific cologne ... Wood ... Leather ... Or, maybe gasoline, leather, cologne (old spice original).

     For those who haven't read bunnie's profile since she updated it or seen an exchange between she and I in chat lately, I'm the ogre .... I mean master, that she has mentioned in her blogs; I'm specifically referencing her most recent blog regarding her desire to incorporate Gorean protocol in our dynamic. I have up, until this point, intentionally refrained from commenting in or on her blogs as they are her thoughts and feelings and easily stand on their own merit. I have told her on more than one occasion that she should assemble her blogs into a literary (book) format and look into publishing it. 
     First, I'm very proud of her and how she has navigated her path to submission through all the exciting ups and heart-stopping plunges of the roller coaster we call our dynamic. IMO, she is worth the long wait in the covid induced line. Second, as for her most recent blog, I couldn't have written it better, and only want to add that bunnie' is aware of my having lived through more than 3 decades of reaction to Gorean lifestyle including insta-banning and ostracizing ... so, that is possibly an influence on her reasoning and/or motivation to write the most recent blog ... or at least the part about others reaction to the inclusion of protocols. Third, I don't plan on making further public commentary's on her blogs. I don't see the need to and she is obviously very good at it. 
     If anyone is curious about Gorean LS and has questions, they are welcome to message me. 

to celebrate the beginning of baseball season ... ok pre-season ... I got a new haircut ... ah la Yuri Gurriel's La Pina (google Yuli Gurriel haircut) ... add a much longer beard and there you go ... woot ... yay baseball

'Twas the night before Kinkmas, when all through the dungeon

Not a slave was stirring, not even their nose;

The whips and floggers were hung by the wrack with care,

In hopes that St. Sadie soon would be there;

The littles were nestled all snug in their binkies;

While visions of coloring books danced in their heads;

And Domina in her boots, and I in my leather,

Had just settled our slaves for a long winter's play,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from my lounger to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,

Gave a lustre of midday to objects below,

When what to my wondering eyes did appear,

But a miniature carriage and eight tiny pony-girls,

With a little old driver so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment she must be St. Sadie.

As I drew in my head, and was turning around,

Down the chimney St. Sadie came with a bound.

She was dressed all in fur, from her head to her foot,

And her clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of toys she had flung on her back,

And she looked like a peddler just opening her pack.

Her eyes—how they twinkled! Her dimples, how merry!

Her cheeks were like roses, her nose like a cherry!

Her droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the paddle at her hip was studded in rows;

She had a sweet face and a generous bust;

That shook when she laughed, like a slaves knees must.

She was hawt and laughing, a right jolly ol' gal,

And I laughed when I saw her, a good Sadist, my pal;

A wink of her eye and a twist of her head

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

She spoke not a word, but went straight to her work,

And spanked all the esses; then turned with a jerk,

And laying her finger aside of her nose,

And giving a nod, up the chimney she rose;

She sprang to her carriage, to her team gave a whistle,

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

But I heard her exclaim, ere she drove out of sight—

MERRY KINKMAS TO A/aLL AND TO A/aLL A GOOD NIGHT !!!

Tis the season for a little Holly Jolly fun ... I will soon post my contribution ... a yule tide story ... please feel free to add your own Seasonal song and story parodies in your own blogs ... and of course Humorous memes and cartoons. Originality gets extra points ... and we can judge a winner on New Years Day.