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A Great Many Things

This is basically about things whatever comes to my mind. Thoughts, feelings, life, lessons learned, and so on. Also i name them weird because i can. The title doesn't normally relate to the content. Thats boring.
2 days ago. Mon 19 Aug 2019 10:11:11 PM IDT

I am honestly sitting here on the side of the tub not sure what to do because i have so much to do that i don't know where to start. I worry about this because it's been happening to me more and more. I've been struggling to keep racing thoughts at bay and things i use to do to get it under control no longer works. It really confuses me and is very frustrating. When did this become such a problem for me? When did I get to lost that i don't even know where to start? 

1 week ago. Fri 09 Aug 2019 05:27:41 PM IDT

1 week ago. Fri 09 Aug 2019 10:00:53 AM IDT

1 month ago. Wed 17 Jul 2019 04:48:53 PM IDT


I haven't written in a while. Honestly I haven't wanted to blog on here. With everything that's been going on in my life I've haven't had the time, energy, or interest. Even now wanting to post this seems pointless, but in case if anyone was wondering i thought I'd say something. So a side from the drama I created for myself do to my own stupidity, I'm alive, work sucks, i love my kids but need a break from them. A day of rest and relaxation. Sleep. Lets just say sleep with them out of the house and me in warm blankets since according to my Master, I keep the house at 12 degrees. =P i don't btw. Low 70s, yes, teens? No. But regardless I'm worn out.

2 months ago. Tue 04 Jun 2019 08:51:30 AM IDT

 

 

2 months ago. Fri 31 May 2019 09:59:37 PM IDT

I am trying to stay positive which, by the way, isn't easy today. Between my appointment and errands, i wasn't gonna have much time to enjoy with my kids on this warm, sunny day before my ex gets them for the weekend. So i got a little pool to fill in the back and thought this should be good. That was short lived. Why? Because my breaker box doesn't need to be watered. 

As it turns out, at some point in the fall or winter my kids turned on the water outside and it froze breaking the pipe. My positive is my uncle who can come over and take possibly fix it so that i can use it for the rest of the summer. Im grateful for that but doesnt change the fact that my kids and i were excited about it and redirecting my oldest didnt work. 

After my kids are picked up I plan to go swimming. I'm hoping I'll get the chance to take them to the pool through out the summer. Work and appointments do cause obstacles. It also would help to have another adult to help with my kids, but it is what it is. 

2 months ago. Tue 28 May 2019 01:19:23 AM IDT

2 months ago. Thu 23 May 2019 06:52:07 AM IDT

"Its open!"

"Damn it youre suppose to say whos there!"

"Why would i do that when it's open?"

 

Here i am again, in a tub of too hot water, my skin turning red, the smell of lavender filling my sinuses and pondering. We talk of connecting to someone that matters to us and hoping they feel the same. What we fail to realize is when talking about connections, there is more than one. We have spiritual, emotional, mental, and of course physical. Id do a breakdown of all these but to be honest the lavender is super calming. I do know one thing for sure. I connect with people on here through curiosity, concern, and sometimes confusion. The friendships that follow make me wonder, what caught my eye about that person? Some of them it's easy. Usually a blog post that brought me to their profile. The last dom i was with, i ended up stumbling onto his profile and liked it because he seemed interesting. I started it by something as little as that. We formed a connection through conversation, so mental and then through physical.

Other friends was curiosity about something in their bio, such has a similar interest or statements of how they live. Some of them i will never meet, but can feel all the same. I connected to some emotionally and care for deeply as friends. Some are spiritual and emotional. Some of these stay and some go. Some come back and some could grow. All i know is i'm rambling, im too warm in the hot water, feeling sleepy from lavender and thinking about how i can't wear my favorite ring until i change it up a bit. Damn ex brother inlaw for finding a fabulous engagement ring for me.

I dont know what the point of this blog was other than, anyone catch my dr. Seuss moment?

Maybe i can do a part to when im not feeling drained. Haha

I do know that each connection i make, matters to me and i dont like to lose them.

 

Had to add this picture because it's so very true

3 months ago. Sun 19 May 2019 05:57:42 AM IDT

It is finally finished! Yay! No more lock that my exhusband had the key to. =P

This has been a speedy and long week all at the same time. Ive had some emotional distress between work, kids, well life in general i suppose but i am hoping that things will mellow out soon. Everything happens for a reason and if i dont accept that, my life wil be one miserable situation after another. So here's to everyone that is learning to have the strength to accept what they can't change and the power to change what they can. But not just that also see the good and bad in each experience and learn from every bit. 

3 months ago. Sun 12 May 2019 03:32:38 AM IDT

Well I went more of a orange red look. It doesnt look bad. My son wanted red hair so he's now a red head. I suppose at some point i should stop with coloring for a bit and just relax but..... wheres the fun in that?

Theres also gonna be some super fun changes with residents at the job i just started so... we will see how that goes. 

 

Sorry for my lack of  humor or insightful anything. Ive been feeling antisocial for whatever reason and just worn out. Changes are rough to adjust to and emotional crap and such. So theres the end. 

Sorry.