As I've been taking some time for my Awakening, (and not as much as I want to) I realize, trying to find 'myself' is an almost impossible job.
And it's not because I have no "self" I should say, but this isnt the time to FIND my self.
I should actually be molding myself into what I know I am.
I havent gone anywhere, I am here.
And I am not lost.
I am simply unfinished.
You stole my eyes when you walked up to speak to me. I'm no submissive, I was to learn you. How dare you take me ?
You stole my control but you gave me all of the power.
Immediately, I knew what you weren't saying.
When you pressed up against me.. I more than felt you. Not only was the warmth of you aura too much to ignore, but you? --and I dont know how to explain it...... but the You. The woman who fit me so perfectly. The girl who immediately gave herself away. The vessel that commanded I fill her.
You. You. You. ---
You stole my heart.
Not the feelings it may have had when you approached and not the emotions it will feel for you once you open it up. But you stole my physical heart.
Nothing else will ever matter. You have it, you stole it but I'll give it to you.
You took my hands.
You guided me to the dance floor but you stole my hands. My hands will never touch another.
Even when my flesh meets the flesh of someone else, I will never. touch. another. Do you hear me yet?
That pleasure belongs to you..
You've stolen my rhythm. And I'll have to ask you how you did that but I've never been so free.
Freely controlled? Hmm.. Because that is more what it's like. Oh god, you're soft.
Being so close to me, I now take having your back to mean something so physical, & so arousing.
How did you get your hips to sway like that? They hit every note, every beat, I swear your hips sang to me.
But I couldnt pull close enough. I wanted you louder & You couldnt press back any more, I needed to hear you - how did we move like that?
I hear you now.
You stole my voice. But you knew that already, I'm so sorry I never verbally spoke but you'll have to understand, you did it to me.
Maybe you should apologize? After all you've taken me from me. You've got my gaze, my heart, my touch, and my rhythm.
My voice, and now my every thought.
What's left to take? Is there anything else to take?
I lost myself when we danced.
And for a few days that bothered me. But I've thought it over and now I'm okay.
I lost myself when we danced, but ive been filled with you.
-------------------
Johnathn Doe
*THIS IS NOT A REAL FOR SALE POST*
[Scene: The black stage]
{ J. DOE stands center stage, blind folded, collar chained to the system overhead. Arms cuffed in front, legs shackled just far enough apart to be uncomfortable }
[*SPOTLIGHT*]
<Master Johnathn - Over the Intercom> :
"Okay, Okay, next on the list.... ahhh yes, my favorite:
#33.
Age 24.
5'0"
110 lbs, give or take.
A bit on the thin side but you can fill her up to your liking. Its easier to pack the .lbs on than to take em off.
Can not be emotionally connect with, but tunes in completly. Great if you you need to be served.
Mother has D.I.D. so you can make this one just about anyone ya like
Father was there so she's not ur regular slut but they never talked so she's eager to please.
She already hates herself. Do with that as you will. I personally love it, no need to show respect but you can fill her with love if your into that sissy shit.
She's a bit hard headed - her brains kinda fucked but in a good way. She only knows how to do what she's told, be careful with that. She's got trouble verbalizing her thoughts. Easily hushed.
Now, disclaimer, this on has fire in her and ITS HOT. Dont let that scare you, this one can take a hell of a beating!! She's been bred for it. They started right at the time of maturity. Got in good. If you like a fighter, she's definitely the one. You just have to spark her to get her going.
She also does have a pup. She's very protective of him. She wont let him out of her sight, so he'll just have to go too.
Shes perfect to go. Emotionally dependent, prefers physical labor, and you have to work on getting her brain to adapt. She just needs a Master to take her.
Let's start the bidding, shall we Boys ? "
[ EnD sCeNe ]
🖕🏽
What if everytime you went out you'd give a star some hope.
What do you think the stars wish?
I am dead. And he killed me.
-----------
Just another John Doe
Do you want to.... sing with me..?
You dont have to be good at it... we can even make up some new words! Dont worry about how it sounds. We arent singing for anyone else, this is just for us.
Please, Do you want to sing too?
No...?
Well maybe we can take a walk? id really like that too. Here, hold my hand. Lets trace where the ocean meets the land. . .
I dont know what i want to say but i want to keep you here.
We dont really have to sing. . .or even talk for that matter.
I know how to shut up too.
. . .
Maybe thats better?
...
...
Just Promise, youll hold my hand. and we dont have to sing, or talk. we can just walk.
I think we talk better without our mouths, anyway.
🎼 And we didnt have to put on clothes 🎶😋😋
I am 'in want' with a shell.
I dont love him, i cant.
But i want him.
Or shall i say the thought of him.
Him and his potiential.
And i am 'in want' with a stranger.
One who doesn't seem to tell everything like it is either.
But i am in want with his demeanor.
His gentleness his has touched me.
I am 'in want' with a mindset.
The Dominant i havent met.
A lot of me is saving myself for him,
but he's supposed to protect me.
I think this is my favorite want.
But its the one to make me feel the weakest. Im supposed to be a strong, independent, black woman that doesnt need a man -- and maybe its not a man im seeking - but i do want somebody. Somebody that wants me.
I dont want to think for myself all the time. Sometimes i want someone to make my life for me..
My ultimate fantacy? The Dominant who moves me in. An obsessive, controlling man. A dominate who takes my life and schedules it to the T. Like the ones as angry as tv doms, yet tender like the ones in books who have become the lifestyle, and understand its nurturing nature. A man who has everything he wants and a need to give it all away but no one to take care of him. An intelligent Sir that understands me, my emotions and how often they switch. a daddy that knows his little is ignorant -- and pushes her in the right direction. A master that does not take kindly to disrespect and rule breaking, but a partner that understands we're all flawed.
I want Him. So badly do i just want to throw myself at his feet. To surrender myself.
Ive told myself, i should want better. Then i told myself, ive already had worse.
I just want to give myself away. To someone who won't abuse me until its actually time to. And will use me to better themselves, and their desires.
I am already, so much, 'in want'
What's wrong with me?
-Johnathn Doe
To give, to recieve.
Maybe we can Switch.