Online now

Treasure Chest

Where you will find the hidden gems along my journey. My feelings. My raw and real emotions. You will get laughter, kink, positivity, with pain and some times heartache all wrapped in silver lining. So if you haven't been here yet, make sure you begin at the beginning.
2 days ago. Tue 17 Sep 2019 09:16:32 AM IDT

After a really beautiful talk with an old friend today, I reflected on events that have transpired throughout my submissive journey.  

Choices made. 

Words said. 

Declarations of feelings from myself and others. 


Alot of things were revealed to both of us in this conversation. 

From feelings unexpressed to each other, to catching up on time without communication, to the depth of feeling in my current dynamic. 


I truly believe that everything happens for a reason and sometimes relationships just aren't meant to be. 

In this I am grateful. 

He was not my One.

Although we harbored very strong feelings. 

But we would've lost out on even greater things if we would've pursued what wasn't meant. 


And we could either be upset and have feelings of regret and resentment or just be happy with what transpired. 

To enjoy the growth and learning experience we gave each other. 

We both thankfully chose positivity and support of each other and im so blessed to call this man a friend. 


Thank you my old dance partner for being the person you were at a time when I needed you to be you. 

And thank you for supporting me now, in my immense happiness. 

It truly means so much to me. 


I just hope to all those out there reading this, that you don't hold back on expressing the truth of your heart. 

If he and I were meant for each other, We could've lost out on our One. 

Don't make that mistake. 

No regrets. 

Be open.. honest and forthcoming with yourself and those you value. 

Tomorrow isn't promised and neither are second chances. 


Don't allow your timid heart to hold you back. 

Now... for a song that speaks...

4 days ago. Sun 15 Sep 2019 06:27:25 AM IDT

In the underground. 

Hidden from all others. 

The ones I hold dear held captive, in front of my very eyes. 


Unable to reach them. 

Only able to see their torture. 

Feel their pain through the look in their eyes.

Their energies. 


Hearing their screams, it wrips me apart. 

I try to brave it but I turn my face. 

The shame of helplessness crushing my very essence. 


No way to know how time passes in the underground. 

Being chained mostly, then freed to move about, the only consistencies.

Those precious moments used to sooth my little one, but never for long. 


Torn apart and chained again came way too soon. 

Just used for their sick whims.

No other existence. 

Just a lingering hope of being set free for good one day 


The time spent in the underground felt eternal. 

I lived a whole lifetime and then some down there. 

Until my little one was chosen to be disposed of.


A celebration of the underground commenced by the evil fiends.

Yanking my boy to the forefront with tear stained cheeks. 

His eyes sunken, despondent. 

The spark was lost long ago.


With a dirty face, grime in his hair and wripped clothing, he stood in front of us all. 

The prisoners of the underground. 

His loved ones. 

Although very young, he'd aged here.

His innocence almost lost.


Declarations of sexual torture expressed, while they danced and taunted us.

I knew what they would do to my son. 

Spared the sight but not the screams. 


Using all of my strength, I tried to break free from their vice-like grips on me.

The blood curdling scream wripped from my chest as he was torn from my sight, never to be seen again. 

Hysterical crying was all my heart could portray of my broken spirit in that moment. 

My instincts aching to save my innocent boy, but knowing it was not possible. 


I had failed him. 

I could not save my only child.

I was dead inside. 


Only the cry erupting from my chest, loud enough to wake me from this nightmare, was the sound I could make.

Realization of reality came soon after, but difficult to accept. 

My mind still stuck in the torture. 

I was mourning. 

Sobbing uncontrollably.


My precious boy, alive and well, sound asleep in the next room.

I am grateful. 

So blessed to know his presence. 

To see his bright, innocent smile. 


Not everyone could say those words today, and my heart aches for those who can't. 

For some innocents have really been lost. 

Been taken away from their loved ones.

Real screams voiced. 

Real tears cried.

I pray for the hearts of the living. 

For the souls of the dead.

I pray for strength.

I pray for their peace.



1 week ago. Wed 11 Sep 2019 04:10:33 AM IDT

Tied to the bed post.

Spread eagle and arms out stretched. 

Pussy soaked.

Anticipation at an all time high. 



Sounds of intense classical music in the background. 

Heart pounds.

Breaths come rapidly. 


He circles her.

She hears the confidence in his steps.

She's helpless. 

At his mercy. 


He enjoys the view. 

Her submission to him, a beautiful sight. 

He's humbled by her willingness to give of herself. 

So much of herself. 


He could smell her arousal. 

Smell her fear. 

Sense her excitement. 

He will make her squirm until he's ready. 


He's in control. 

Her gift to him. 

And he will make it worth her while. 

Make it memorable for her. 


She is his precious love. 

His sub.

The woman he adores. 

And he can't imagine planning this night for another. 


Nobody else more deserving. 

No other woman he desires. 

No other submissive he sees. 

They are connected.


It is her scent. 

Her voice. 

Her gasps. 

Her moans, he craves. 


She cries out at the surprised lashing of the flogger on her inner thighs. 

Not hard enough to sting. 

Just warming the skin, he begins. 

But she didn't sense it coming. 


He has that way about him. 

He keeps her guessing. 

Keeps her on her toes. 

She would have it no other way.


Her skin reddens.

She longs for a harsher lash but she will not ask.

She will take what she's given tonight. 

When he chooses the time is right. 


The red lines on her skin, so sexy. 

Knowing they are his gift to her. 

She accepts. 

It makes him hard.


Makes his shaft throb in his pants. 

He aches to enter her.

To go home. 

But not yet. 


His delayed satisfaction is what will make things great for her.

But he can't help but to touch. 

To caress. 

To kiss. 


He devours her with his mouth. 

Biting her bottom lip. 

She moans, her breath tickles his face. 

He smiles. 


The electricity crackles between them. 

Their connection. 

Their power together. 



Flogger forgotten. 

His lips, tongue, teeth, his tools.

Her nipple his instruments. 

Rolling the hard bud with his tongue, between his teeth. 


Her back arches. 

Her full breasts invade his mouth further. 

He becomes ravenous. 

Biting her, leaving marks. 



Their instincts take over.

She feels the strength of his hands, his mouth. 

But its not enough. 


They can't get close enough. 

They can't connect fast enough. 

He enters her hard and fast. 

Again she's taken by surprise, but she doesn't care. 


She needs him there. 

Within her depths. 

As close as possible. 

As one again. 


Pumping hard and fast. 

Sweat soaked bodies collide. 

He sucks her tongue. 

Grabbing her throat and restricting her breath. 


"You are mine, My Precious" fanatically, he states. 

"Yes Sir" her moans fill his ears. 

Pumping harder into her.

She gasps.


"I'm never letting you go BabyDoll"

"Never Sir. Never let me go".

1 week ago. Sat 07 Sep 2019 10:04:50 AM IDT

Surgery tomorrow. 

Mentally preparing for the process and recovery. 

Ive got this. 💪

This is a means to an end and im grateful for the amazing and beautiful support system I have. 

From being really sick, to now and even after, you special gems have been there and will be there. 

I have no doubts. 

Thank you to everyone in my corner. 

I appreciate and adore each one of you. 

And a special thank you to my Custos.

You truly are my rock. 

My Superhero Man. 

You just never falter and Im the most blessed sub. 

Im honored to be yours. 

Thank you for being everything I could want or need, forever and always. 

I love you 💋 

Goodnight everyone. God bless and sweet dreams. 😊 *hugs all around*

2 weeks ago. Sun 01 Sep 2019 08:41:23 AM IDT

Just laying in his arms. 

His scent invades her nostrils. 

Breathing him in, her lungs content to be full of him. 

As her heart feels the same. 


Her soul seems to take a huge breath in, just as well. 

Eyes closing while arms close around her.

Just a kiss on her forehead. 

Warm tingles run from that spot, throughout her body. 

She's at home here.

His embrace, her cage. 

Where she's most free. 


He loves to envelope her.

To just hold her.

For them to simply be.

He is her Dom, and she, his sub, but they are a man and a woman. 

Both in need of love. 

Both giving that love. 

Both receiving that love. 

They are two halves of a whole. 

Wrapped together as one. 





Who knew it could be this way? 

Just so natural. 

So beautiful. 

So perfect. 

The way they move, even in a relaxed state.

They are a well oiled machine. 

A couple in their dynamic. 

His hand on her thigh.

Her head in the crook of his shoulder. 

Hand over his heart. 

His preference. 

Her obedience. 

This was the rule long ago. 

Now, it's just their norm. 


No need for words. 

They both just do.

Clicking together like two puzzle pieces. 

Meant to be side by side and interlocked with each other. 

Even their breaths match. 

He breathes deep. 

She sighs. 

They are the oxygen for each other. 

It's how they live.  

How they thrive. 

Just through and with the other. 


No need for chains in this moment. 

No leather. 

No sexy heels or a business suit.

No fancy make up.

No alluring lingerie. 

No toys. 

No whips. 

No commands or orders.

No this moment. 


Just simplicity. 

Just living. 

Just being. 

Just breathing. 

Just holding. 

Just caressing. 

Just loving. 


Just...... 💋


3 weeks ago. Thu 29 Aug 2019 04:57:35 AM IDT


3 weeks ago. Mon 26 Aug 2019 07:40:35 AM IDT

3 weeks ago. Sun 25 Aug 2019 06:08:09 PM IDT



Truly grateful.


Thinking on the lining surrounding my life. 


My relationships. 


In all forms.


Friends, to family, to soulmate.


That bright, silver line just wraps itself around everything in it's perfection. 


And seeing that brightness in the gloom is a choice. 


There have been many negatives lately. 


And yet, this sub is grateful and thankful. 


Most of all, to be alive. 


To be able to still enjoy those ups and downs. 


All of those things are blessings. 


They make us more. 


They make us better. 




More beautiful in who we are as people. 


So I choose to see the good.


I choose to see the lovely. 


I choose to see the beauty. 


We only have one chance at this life.


Why look at it as a burden, rather than a great gift? 


I have an awesome family. 








And so loving and loyal.


My beautiful friends, near and far, keep me sane. 


You ground me.


You make me laugh. 


You make me feel understood. 


My handsome Sir...


You love me, so much. 


You protect me.


You hold me.


You cherish me.


Within thinking of the greats of life, the darkness diminishes. 


The beauty of darkness being overshadowed in my mind...


It's how I will live and think. 


My choice.


So I enjoy these facts...


I AM happy. 


I HAVE love.


I GIVE love. 


I HAVE joy. 


I AM blessed. 


I AM thankful. 

*God bless you all... and as always, stay safe, stay blessed, and keep on KINKIN on 💋*

4 weeks ago. Wed 21 Aug 2019 05:12:03 AM IDT

Ok Cage I feel that its time to express in my blog some of what transpired in my past relationship with the Dom who collared me. Physically collared me. Im hoping it can help others learn without going through what I did. To maybe take my words and use it to guard your heart a little more just in case. It never hurts to have a "just in case" plan in place. Your heart is valuable and you are your own advocate. It's up to you to protect it.


So... here goes...


For those that know me and follow my blog,  especially those who have been following most of my journey,  know that my collaring with my ex Dom was extremely special to me. If you go back far enough, you'll read a beautiful blog of submission, play and so much love. It was a collaring ceremony that was perfect for the two of us and a collar that was equally as great because it was my very first and according to him, the first he'd given. So special because it came from this man I was so in love with. 


But who knew that from there, we would end? 

Who knew that we just weren't meant to be? 

God knew,  of course. 

But I had things to learn from that person and so I did. 


But I went through hell to get to the learning place. To this place of growth. 


I went through an awful bout of subdrop at one point after my collaring. You all know very well how horrible that was, since I blogged several entries about it. From in the throws of the abyss of despair that is subdrop, to the aftermath. 

But during that time, I didn't have my "Dom".


He, at the time, was more concerned with "no longer being the Dom on a pedestal anymore". Wow right?  I couldn't hardly believe it myself. Huge red flag. Huge moment of selfishness. And yet, because of my love and commitment, I stayed. I don't just walk away and give up.


I went on to being neglected in more ways than one. To being lied to. Most likely cheated on, based on emails received from another sub about him. 


And when confronted with this information in black and white, his response was to blame me for not blindly trusting him above tons of evidence that pointed to this information being fact. I begged for days to talk it out. I loved him with all of me. I wanted him to prove these awful words wrong. But he never did. 


He shut me out and refused to fight for us. 


I even had to tell him that I would remove my collar if he didn't give me some sort of indicator that he wanted to try and make things work. Literally, crickets were my friends that night since they were all I heard. He couldn't even tell me no... that he no longer loved me... that he no longer wanted me. There was just the loudest silence I've ever been forced to hear. So I texted him that I removed my collar, thanked him for all he taught me and that I was sorry for ever failing him as his sub. There was never another word from him or from me. I said everything possible, there was nothing left for me to say. That was the moment I needed to accept what was, and begin to try and move on.


Hindsight is 20/20 afterall, so I couldn't be more grateful for his lack of fight and explanation. Especially now that I'm so incredibly happy with my current Sir. So in love and so well matched with my amazing Superhero Man. But at the broke me and I was left utterly lost. So much so, that I literally deleted my whole profile and changed my name to LostOne. I had a crap ton to figure out from there and I honestly have no regrets. I did my very best,  as a woman and sub to him. I put my all into that dynamic, as I do in every relationship I enter into whether D/s or vanilla. But it doesn't change the wretched pain I endured at his hands. 


So I felt the need to tell my story so you all will learn from my experience if you can, but to also be on guard since this predator that calls himself a Dom, is back. Being a presence in our precious community by making himself known for his peace, tranquility, positivity, growth and changes he's made and continuing to make. According to him anyway. 


He was just with a friend of mine. Not that she was aware that he's my ex, because I prefer to not assume about a person's growth. He and I haven't spoken in months. There was no way to know if he'd learned from our experience or any there after. But after speaking with her, he's still at it...smdh. This of course, placed a weight on my heart to speak out. 


So just know my lovely kinksters, that there's a fraud among us. He gets you with claims of love and adoration. But just keep in mind that if something feels off, doesn't add up or make sense...or even if something is just too good to be true, trust yourself. Follow your gut. Im so incredibly happy my friend did just that. She was saved from a ton of hurt at this man's hands. 


And don't forget, I brought this person around my family. In my home. Around my son. So learn from my experience. Trust my words. I won't lead you astray. 


Hugs and love to you all. 


And as always, stay safe, stay blessed and keep on KINKIN' on! 💋



1 month ago. Sun 18 Aug 2019 07:02:56 PM IDT

Pain. It's the ever present feeling. 


It's just there. To stand, to sit.


To just move at all, there's pain. 


My day consumed by the horrible feeling and trying in every way to avoid it. To prevent it.


But no dice. 


It's not meant to happen. 


Its meant to worsen. The infection has already started. 


Its worked its way into my system. 


The only body I have, that only medicine can fix. 


His order making me shudder. His worry makes my heart shiver.


Our hearts beat together, our souls speak.


His worry is mine, as mine is his and he doesn't worry for naught.


The professionals were his choice and so they were mine. 


Off my pain ridden body went. Weakness and sickness along with it.


The infection was tearing me down. My immune system's soldiers battling within me.


They were losing and Sir and I were none the wiser.


The professionals did their work and then it was my turn.








Tears came, along with high temps and cold sweats. 


Encouraging words and orders to eat and drink certain things. The soldiers could fight harder with the help of med soldiers but the meds made me sicker. 


So at times the fuel I consumed would leave me. Pale in the face, sweat on my brow and weaker than before, my body was fighting. 


It was a battle to complete every step. To just bathe and soak. For my fragile being to relax. 


This shell ive been trapped in this past week. It was so tired. Wanting Sir's strong embrace here with me. In the flesh. Not emotionally. 


But that's all we had. It was the little arms that held me. His 5 year old lips that kissed my forehead, while both my guys told me they loved me.


For them and for others I followed orders to overcome this week of hell. 


Body and mind on the mend. 


No tasks to do. 


No positions to hold. 


I was fragile and human this week, as I always am.


Yet I clearly needed reminding. 


A very vanilla week for Sir and I and our love never wavered. His support of me stronger than ever.


This collar has no velcro in it. No removing it from my skin or my heart. I belong to him. Mind, body and soul. In every way. 


Im not just his submissive. Im his love, his partner. We are in this together. This crazy thing called life.


Through the pain and strife of this week and every single one in future. Every illness or life struggle, we'll be the other half of each other. 


This week, it was MY physical pain and next week it could be his and I'll be right there. 


No leaving. No walking away. No giving up.


We made a commitment to each other. One to love and not leave. 


I got you babe and I know you got me too.


I love you.