Every hard moment in time has a silver lining. Just a sliver of light wrapped around the mess. Around the chaos.
Feeling numb to the depth of what life has thrown my way tonight. This is huge coming from me. The girl who just feels. Feels everything. Feels so much.
Today is different from yesterday. There has been a shift in the universe. In my universe. And from this day, my life will be changed. It can be good or bad. Who knows?
I'm sitting and pondering the mess. Looking at it within my mind's eye and trying to find that dang silver lining.
It's there. I know it is. But shit is raw. So my blinders are on. Or maybe I just don't want to point to the good for once. *shrug*
Maybe I just need to sit here and absorb. Just soak in everything. All the bad along with the good so I could grasp what's happened. And how everyone's life around me will change because of one choice. Or too many choices.
All the choices piled high. Too high for things to stay thick. They get thin up top like a mountain peak. You get too high and there's nothing to hold onto. The air is thinner there. You struggle to breathe while continuing that climb.
The top is reached and there's no more up. It's just down. The last choice made, placed at the top and there's no room to move or hold on. You stumble. And slide to the ground.
There it goes. Rock bottom. Literally. And you're beat the fuck up. Just wrecked.
So I guess the silver lining is that once you're down there. Beaten. Broken. Defeated. There's nowhere else to go but up.
And maybe, next time, the mountain of choices will be wider. Each choice thought through more, so placement won't cause everything to just crumble. Being meticulous about what to do and who to be next time.
Placing each choice in a better place than the last time so there will be more places for walking. For growing. For breathing. That's all we can do. Right?