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4 days ago. Sun 17 Mar 2019 03:21:57 AM IST

Hello ALL!

 

We are making the next month  full of goodies!

 

 

March 27th  is a fundraiser for an  amazing community member with  an incredible  legacy!

https://thecage.co/events/

AND

https://fetlife.com/events/770835

 

 

 

 

April  7th WONDERLAND

A fundraiser for Through The Looking Glass

https://thecage.co/events/

AND

https://fetlife.com/events/773356

 

 

 

Obsidian  Play Party  April  27

Our Place from  7:00 PM – 2:00 AM 

https://thecage.co/events/

AND

https://fetlife.com/events/773351

 

 

Through The Looking Glass UPDATE:

 

https://thecage.co/events/

AND

https://fetlife.com/events/740899

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1 week ago. Wed 13 Mar 2019 10:04:50 PM IST

Today I went to  the 3rd funeral in 5 weeks. 

 

I am confused as to how I feel. 

Death doesnt brother me, but when a fellow gay passes it's more personal.  

It was suicide.

I am not anti suicide. 

I just dont  understand why they killed their dogs first. 

He often said he wanted to go to a kink event. I often invited him. 

 

His long time husband died 3 years ago of AIDS. We were there for his funeral to. 

 

It used to be that a suicide couldn't be buried in the designated Jewish section of the cemetery. 

Now, there is more understanding the suicide is an illness and thankfully that has been relaxed. 

 

 

I get angry when I am reminded that although he has been at the Synagogue years before we came, he did not come out until after we were established here. 

 

Why is that.  

Rhetorical. 

 

I thought that writing this would somehow give me insight into why I'm so confused about his death. 

 

It hasn't. 

 

But I am reminded to do something. 

 

At the weekend local bdsm events there is always a table that we keep for those that have passed. 

There are pictures, poems, gifts. 

 

I need to make sure one is at Through the Looking Glass. 

 

Pay it forward by looking back. 

 

 

 

1 week ago. Mon 11 Mar 2019 04:23:10 AM IST

A few years ago I was getting my oncology certification when the teacher told a story. 

They said that a patient asked them about cancer and sex. The patient was in their 70's. The instructor said they did not answer and  changed the conversation. 

 

Well, I wasnt about to let that stand. I raised my hand and explained that Self Serve , our local sexuality resource center,  has books and classes for people dealing with illness yet still wanting fulfilling sex lives. 

Ths teacher bumbled all over themselves. 

 

I went on to say that it took a lot of courage for that patient to ask that type of question, and that we as medical professionals,  owe them better answers. 

 

 

Not talking about sex not only increases shame based thinking. It also stops people from learning about sexual health. 

 

I read a story about a guy who had to have something removed from his ass every few months by the ER doc. 

 

The Doc was giggling at the latest when the nurse walked up and told the Dr off. The nurse then went to the guy  and had a frank conversation with the patient about flaired base sex toys. The patient was not seen again for a foreign object insertion. 

 

 

We owe each other honest and non shame based conversations. 

 

We owe each other better. 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1 week ago. Mon 11 Mar 2019 01:10:44 AM IST

As a society we have millions of reasons why relationships won’t work. In our recent societal history it has been because the relationship was based in different religions, interracial, same sex, poly, or because the participants are too young or to old.  The point here is that we are always assumptive about why a relationship won’t last. We always seem to have the answer, and now relationships will fail because they are internet relationships.

 

Internet relationships have been happening way before the internet. What I mean here is that as long as there have been correspondence and communication there have been long distance relationships. Internet relationships are simply another way of doing unconventional relationships.

 

 

I will admit that I have a fair amount of privilege and bias here.  I have never been in a long distance relationship or an internet one.  I have always had the privilege of having my love by my side, we have always lived in places where there was a vibrate gay and BDSM scene that was attainable, and we have no children or geographically close family that would negatively impact our ability to participate in BDSM. 

When I first began thinking about online BDSM relationships I instantly thought that the people were somehow less then or broken. People that were, for some reason, incapable of having relationships in real time.

 

 

Then I remembered something, and it was like a huge smack to my head.

My mom feel in love online.

It was the only time in her life that I remember her being happy. She lived in the US and he lived in India.  When she came and said that she was moving to India, not visiting, moving to India, I remember sitting across from her scared face and saying “Go. Go today. Don’t wait.”  I never once questioned the validity of how she felt.  I was afraid that she would get killed or sold into sexual slavery,  I will admit that.  Secondary to that, and with  greater importance,  how my mom felt was palpable. That is what mattered. 

 

My mom wasn’t broken. She had had successful relationships in the past in real time.  Where she was in that time in her life the computer helped her to grow, open up and finally love again.  She went on to have a successful relationship with the man from India.  It was the first time in forever, I remember her smiling for real and not that “I’m going to smile because you think I should" smile.  She would laugh.  She was excited about life.  I joyfully helped her move.

 

With all of that knowledge, how could I downplay someone’s desire for an online relationship?  What was wrong with how I thought about others? 

There are many people who want online relationships because that is what fulfills their needs.  Just like I desire other women, they desire someone on the other end to their computer.

My judgement and bias is no  more fair or right than those that believe that because my love and I are a same sex couple we are destined to  fail,  unable to  have  “normal” relationships,  or are in  some way damaged. 

 

I will be honest. I don’t know if I am capable of an online relationship. However, I will no longer allow myself to think that those that do are less then.

 

Kudos to you that are able to! 

 

1 week ago. Sat 09 Mar 2019 09:23:51 PM IST

Friday morning at about 3 a.m. I bought the plane ticket for one of our headliner speakers. The website is almost completely done except for the PayPal plugin is giving us problems. And I don't want to go live until that's working.

 

 

The fundraiser titled Alice in Wonderland is set for April 7th. We have the most amazing acts coming in and hugely wonderful host.

 

After that we have a play party at our place on April 27th and any proceeds from their go directly to the event.

 

Even better news, a local friend has offered to take over the little space and make that work! We will be meeting in another week or so so that they can take a look at the space. This is huge because I have been unable to really tap into the little community to let everybody know that they have their own space here.

 

I've decided the organizing people going to be using walkie talkies so that way if there are any issues we can handle it and be fine.

 

 

Really all of the hardcore organizing is done. Now I just have to pay people. The goal is everybody is paid off before the event.

 

 

There is however a trade-off. I am not going to be able to run classes between here and the event. It's just too much for me to do. The other folks in the team are also really busy.

 

But I think it is a good trade-off..

 

As soon as the PayPal is working I going to be sending the website here to you guys on the cage!

 

I would love feedback both positive and negative. Tell me how it works for you, what else you would like to see., what you feel needs to be changed.

 

 

It's almost go time !!!!

 

 

2 weeks ago. Wed 06 Mar 2019 01:57:54 AM IST

I have determined that it is unfair to have both vertigo and farts. The vertigo makes you go round and round see you get smacked by your own  farts multiple times.

Shockingly, getting smacked by your own fart multiple times due to vertigo is not in ICD-10.

 

Fuckers...

 

2 weeks ago. Sun 03 Mar 2019 09:24:32 PM IST

Hello all. 

 

I'm holding by my finger nails.

I had to unblock a person on fetlife to screen shot their hate. 

 

I am sending a cease and desist letter before my event in May.  

 

My nerves get shot glancing over it. 

 

I'm ok. 

I know this is the right thing to do. 

 

I have legal representation. 

I have screen shots. 

 

I will also be sending the cease and desist letter to fetlife. 

 

To pressure them regarding not holding the account responsible. 

 

I'm scared. I'm tired. I'm ready. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1 month ago. Tue 19 Feb 2019 11:00:07 PM IST

 The last month has been a  hell of an uphill battle. I did land a job but it was part time and for all their talk of I am not going to be for lack of hours we all know how this goes.

 

So this morning I signed for a full-time position! It was very very fast. Interview, pee test, job. 

 

This matters to me not just from an economic standpoint, but from a BDSM stand point as well.

 

When you have somebody in your care like my love is in mine, it's my job to provide not just financial security, but also  health insurance, life insurance, and retirement.  

 

All of those things that help keep her safe. All of those things that help safeguard her health.

 

 

I am really afraid of working full-time after being forced off of disability. But my job is home hospice which means I'll be able to take breaks in between seeing people. Those breaks will help me be able to nurse my symptoms and get me ready to see the next person.

 

 

Since working part time the symptoms have exacerbated. I'm up during the night puking or the headaches and vertigo exacerbate badly.

 

So by no means am I out of the woods. However, this is what I have to do until we figure out what other options that we have.

 

On one hand I'm afraid of my symptoms- on the other- I feel able to care for her again properly.  

 

 

 

One of the reasons that I struggled so deeply with a part-time position was because I didn't have benefits. As a Master it's my job to make sure those things happen. Although I was on my way to evening out what was happening in the household, I just didn't feel right.

 

 

So as I go about my day, I feel much more capable as a Master knowing that these things are handled.

 

 

Or me, Mastery isnt just about service and play. Its about also doing your part behind the scenes to see to your slaves safety in real time. 

1 month ago. Thu 07 Feb 2019 02:04:13 AM IST

It has been two weeks of pretty intense ups and downs. 4 the last 25 years I have worked in the medical community. I have my BSN now but I also have a little under two years of being on disability from a car accident. For the first time in my life I am looking at having prospective employers turn me away. I have never experienced this in my life.

 

I have post-interview employers not calling me back. People dodging my calls. Being lied to outright. It has been a horrific Journey.

 

 

So today I found out the my most potential for a job has five interviewees for one position. There's no way I'm getting this. So I said to her "I have an idea. Why don't you just take me on as part-time?"

 

She was very excited. She checked with her people call me back within 30 minutes and offered me the position.

 

 

This way I can at least start working. And I have it on my resume that I am actively working

 

 

It's not great but it's a start. I start Monday. We should be able to save the house. I will be calling every day to find out what they need. I will take every single shift. I will take every single assignment. I will make myself a massive asset that they will want to create a full-time position for

 

 

 

This experience has severely shaken my confidence. I am so used to employers fighting over me. Being able to negotiate salary because I've got three people who will I keep upping the stakes until I sign with them.

 

I have to keep reminding myself that this is all just the beginning. I'll grow from here and it'll get better or different.

 

Now it's time to make my way to where I was.

1 month ago. Sun 27 Jan 2019 11:30:36 PM IST

We are leaving the house now for the BDSM Buffet on single tail.

 

 

The guy that we have facilitating is beyond talented.

 

 

 

I asked if he would be willing to take a couple of TAPS out on me. He answered "yes Lol".

 

 

I have another guy who is coming that does a fancy kind of single tail. He can twirl and jump over it.  It's just so hypnotic to watch him.

 

Today offers a lot of things for people. Not just the ability to feel the single tail, but to be able to watch, to be able to pick up a couple of whips and try for themselves, and the ability to meet the facilitator of the "whips in the park " group.

 

 

Numbers look really good. I'm really hoping that we have more of an interest in the whips in the park group to come out of this

 

 

It's going to be interesting because I go right under when I'm on the receiving end of a single tail. So here I come baby!!