My Journey Into Open Arms

I messed up a marriage

My marriage

I messed up a relationship 

My relationship with my sub

My inability to listen and change

Insecurity 

Immature behavior

Reckless abandon 

For my ex wife's feelings 

For not listening to my subs needs and toying with her emotions. 

Ruining the lives of two people

Due to my lack of caring, listening or the ability to change.

I failed as a friend, hubby, dom and person on this one.

I need to find ME or I'll only continue to hurt others. 

He is to love and cuddle
Mentor and teach
Not push away
So far out of reach
Do not smother
So much they're not breathing
They have to function as a person
A sexual partner and as a friend
When you struggle to find the words
Emotions they may wane
Feelings that linger 
will be hard to make whole again.
Give her love, time and space when needed 
But also closeness and attention
She will sigh with relief
Knowing you get her

I do not know how anyone can fake being happy. We all do it though. Fake smiles keeping up appearances going with the flow. We are guilty of settling in. Guilty of being what everyone else expects us to be. We forego our own happiness to make others feel happy to make others smile. We bury our own insecurities inside our broken hearts while they dance on our souls just for their peace of mind. Well to the liars, cheaters, backstabbing repeaters, two faced, conniving deceivers and the adulterous whores that kept fucking more I am no longer blame. The ones that are racist, bigoted, homophobic, prejudice child beaters you should be ashamed. The the cruelty to animals mother fucker that leave lives in shambles I'm not your puppet or your prey. The one with the AlteredEgo pick your spot but just know this isn't it. You will soon find out the one you fight for and trust will just use you and treat you like shit. I will no longer smile or go the extra mile just to cover your tracks I won't have your back. I'm tired and just want to relax. I can not live by your rules and I sure as hell won't smile for you anymore.