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Fantasies of an unfulfilled dream....

i am lucky to have found a wonderful MISTRESS who gives me tasks in order to help me explore my fetish’s and desires of sissification, food humiliation and degradation. Sometimes I get so horny and frustrated I do things to myself and imagine a lady in front of me telling me what to do.........
i no longer need to think about what to do as i have a MISTRESS who owns me :)

These are my musings
1 day ago. Tue 22 Jan 2019 04:20:35 PM IST

i was tidying up my wardrobe - bras, panties, dresses, tops etc -  in the shed and came across two lipsticks that i brought a while back. 

MISTRESS asked if there was anything SHE hadn’t seen yet so i modelled my dark blue matching bra and panties plus a lime green top and dark green leather skirt.

i mentioned the lipstick and MISTRESS told me to colour in my clit.

After modelling the outfit, i draw over my ever - erecting clit until three quarters of the shaft was bright red. MISTRESS then told me to write “I am a slut” on my top 

asking if i had anything i could use to hand, I found some skin care cream and rubbed that up and down my still swollen clit. it smelt nice and felt nice. 

i am led to believe that MISTRESS has something far worse for me coming up on Thursday!!!


2 days ago. Mon 21 Jan 2019 03:51:51 PM IST

MISTRESS ordered me to hollow out half a cucumber and to buy so apple sauce.

i was told to wear my new pink nightie that i brought a week or two ago so i presented myself in submission pose for my MISTRESS to give me further orders. 

i was told to pour the apple sauce into the cucumber and then i had to beg in order to be given the chance to fuck it.

my first attempt wasn’t very good so i had to try again, which, although better, still wasn’t as satisfactory as MISTRESS would have liked.

fortunately MISTRESS was in a good mood and i videoed the act fir MISTRESS to watch in her own time.

i felt good and snug in my nightie, and i felt frustration with the cucumber. The sauce acted like a lube - a very effective one - and I couldn’t get very deep as, luckily fir me, my clit was too big girth wise to fit in. i did buy the widest cucumber i could find but it wasn’t quite enough. 

i feel the swede may return!!

4 days ago. Sat 19 Jan 2019 10:51:34 PM IST

so MISTRESS told me to put on stockings suspenders, black bra panties and my new black dress. i was more than happy to comply as i love women wearing what i was and enjoyed the look of myself too.

i had been ordered to get the lemon curd jar out and ensure it was warm for the next task already so i took it off the radiator, removing my s&s and replaced them with my hold ups.

MISTRESS demanded i duck the jar so i videoed my clit thrusting in and out making suction noises as the curd dropped out of the jar . 

The head of my clit glistened and the foreskin pulled back to reveal my clits head

afterwards i put it back in my panties and waited for further instructions 

i sat for around ten minutes before i was allowed to clean myself up and  i hope MISTRESS was happy with my work 

5 days ago. Fri 18 Jan 2019 08:54:51 AM IST

MISTRESS wanted me to list the foods i have had to put down the various panties and dresses that i have.

currently i have used...

olive oil


lemon curd (fucked jar)

greek yogurt (fucked pot)

ice cream (very messy, sticky)

tomato sauce

baked beans




tomato puree

greek yogurt


chocalate custard

tomato ketchup 

strawberry jam (fucked jar)


salad dressing


being made to fuck the jars is exciting, as it was to stick my clit into the tomato purée filled swede a few days ago.

i believe that not only is it the sensation of plunging my clit into a container that makes it so naughty, but part of me hates mess, so the amount of food dropped onto the plastic that i put on the chair and floor is less, and the tidy up is less, thus there is less worry and work to do after.

like anything we do in like, kink or vanilla, it has to be a consideration that to do something and to enjoy it, has to be worth the time and risk of setting it up and cleaning up afterwards.

if you wanted to cook an elaborate three course meal, the delight and the compliments of your fellow diners after tasting the food has to be greater than the effort time ( and cost) you put into it, otherwise it doesn’t seem that you would have the motivation and drive to try it again. 

After the eggs last night i have gone 14 days without cumming. 

i would rate myself at a 9 on the cummeter meaning i am getting a twitchy clit everytime i watch a tv show with some lady i am attracted to. 

i get an ache on the right side of my genitals on a daily basis which is a sign that i want to release my juice. it’s nothing a paracetamol tablet won’t have trouble dealing with.

Tomorrow night, MISTRESS has dared me to go out to the shed, in 2degree Celsius weather in just panties. The distance is just 20 meters there and back but it still excites me as i do have exhibitionist tendencies and i have never attempted anything like that before with neighbours potentially spotting the dash!!

6 days ago. Thu 17 Jan 2019 09:20:48 PM IST

so having to put back the same bra panties and dress from earlier was horrid. It wasn’t just the smell and the damp, it was the fact that they were so cold to put on, having been stored outside away from prying eyes! 

As instructed, i had cracked six eggs into a cup and poured some down my front and back of my dress, and having half a cup left i had to fuck the eggs before placing , pouting the remaining goo over my clit. 

i then stood there as it dripped down my legs into the bath, where, with brilliant planning i stood.

its the first time i had used eggs and as good as they are, they have to be used whilst standing in the bath or outdoors.

i am pleased to have experienced this food as i have seen some excellent WAM videos online using them but i think that they are a lot of work to get as much enjoyment as i get from other less messy food liked jar of jam, lemon curd etc.

hiwever, my MISTRESS will decide if they are to be used again


6 days ago. Thu 17 Jan 2019 04:03:34 PM IST

6 days ago. Thu 17 Jan 2019 04:03:12 PM IST

6 days ago. Thu 17 Jan 2019 04:02:33 PM IST

MISTRESS told me to get out the ‘white’ dress, panties and black bra that was used three days ago for the Ice Scream blog entry.

i took them out of the plastic bag i had placed them in and immediately the smell hit me, a tinge of lemon and vanilla,  as did the damp texture of the material! 

i had a tin of baked beans ready for today and with time short i was told to deposit the tin down my dress and panties 

it didn’t take long for the juice to soak through and get a little sticky and then i got to sit, feeling the beans slide down my clots shaft and fall out on either side of my balls, onto the plastic cover protecting my chair and carpet!

thank goodness i remembered to put those down. 

i was allowed to clean myself as time was not on our side today and i felt i had got away with having to sit in this disgusting mess for as little time as possible.

however, i was then informed that this evening, i would have to put on the same clothes, still soaked with juice and be prepared with half a dozen eggs !!

my mind scrambled, had MISTRESS poached the idea? i was a’fried’ to say anything  in case MISTRESS boiled over.



1 week ago. Wed 16 Jan 2019 07:15:55 PM IST

so sitting in ‘butter and oil’ i awaited my next task to the pleasure and amusement of MISTRESS 


i was told to fuck the jar of peanut butter and video the thrusting. Pleasing my MISTRESS i was then ordered to pour some oil into the hole i had made and then fuck it again, the oul acuing like a crude lube!! 

Making a suction noise, MISTRESS enjoyed the sound effects as i plunged my clit in and out of the jar. Upon its removal, my clit was glistening with a mix of butter, oil and Precum.


the humiliation complete, i was allowed to clean myself up and the nappy to be tossed away. I had already been told to buy a pack so i have seven or so left to be humiliated and degraded with yet. 

It was an interesting experience, and i was turned on to an extent but the most degrading aspect is having to post the blog entry so that you lovely readers know that i was forced to wear a diaper with fake pooh and pee. 

1 week ago. Wed 16 Jan 2019 06:16:55 PM IST

i was allowed by my MISTRESS to go to work wearing my WIFES worn panties, cock Cage and hold up stockings under my jeans and the feel of the tops of the holds ups made my clit engorge into its restricted space, causing a pain and an ache which proved uncomfortable as i worked. It was a constant reminder of the owner Sissy i was becoming. 

When i returned home i was ordered to place peanut butter at the back of a diaper and olive oil in the front, then put it on and sit awaiting instructions. It was strange to place a diaper on again after all these years in boxers and panties!!