It's All Relevant

 

 

 

We invest, we love, we fuck up, we lose

Then hopefully

We learn, and we move on.

Over and over, an endless repetitive cycle

It’s like some perverse Groundhog Day.

We are given a Ferrari and treat it like it’s a Chevette.

We are sat at the table of a five-star restaurant

But we’ve eaten in front of the TV or out of the pot over the stove

For so long we don’t know which fucking fork to use?

We rarely appreciate how amazing a gift is

How lucky we are at that very moment.

We truly never really know what we have until it is taken away

Or worse, when they decide to leave you...

Maybe it’s a subconscious form of masochism

Self-loathing doused in self-pity

But inherently, we ‘discarded folk’

Reflect on when it all started

When it was good.

Happy.

We mutter introspective things like

“How the fuck did we get here?” or

“Why does this continually fucking happen to me?”

We sit there feeling sorry for ourselves

Licking our wounds and attempting to convince ourselves

We are better off, another door will open. I

Seeking that so-called silver lining.

You know, the one you manufacture to make your fuck up less awful.

It’s that ‘we learn, we move on’ part I continually struggle with.

You’d think I’d have a Ph.D. in relationships by now?

I should be touring the country and lecturing on the subject.

Book signings, tweeting helpful hints and

Have a permanent guest spot on Super Soul Sunday.

And yet, I don’t.

I’m not.

Instead, I am hunched over a dusty keyboard

Chicken pecking while my mind does mental gymnastics.

I’m one of the dumbest smart people I know.

Seriously I am a forty-something fucking toddler.

I’m the one everyone comes to seeking advice, yet I’m a never-ending dumpster fire.

Life can be a conniving asshat sometimes.

Too often, it feels as if I am putting together a puzzle without the box top.

Cluelessly pressing pieces together in hopes of miraculously seeing

The complete picture.

Nope.

Instead, I fumble.

Fail.

And then there you.

Spoiler alert: I fucked up and… surprise surprise… I lost.

This is real life, not Disney after all.

But this time it sincerely felt different

I’ll save you the melodramatic lamenting and therapy catchphrases.

This time

(And yes, I know that those two words have been uttered before

And only time will tell if I’m full of shit)

The ‘we learn, we move on’ part is a priority.

Not an afterthought

Not a broken promise I’ll rationalize not fulfilling.

I’m tired of licking wounds.

The next time I’m fortunate enough to sit behind the wheel of a high-end sports car

I’ll cherish it.

Now, I’m still not sure of placement but I do know this

The dinner fork is the bigger one

And my wine glass goes on the top right.

Right?

Regardless… that look of indifference in your eyes haunts me still.

A painful clarion call.

I think we are given a handful of Zen-like pivotal moments in our lives.

The kind that Karma justifiably curb stomps you for ignoring.

So, with big girl panties and a humility sports bra on

I learn and I move on.

 

PS. The dinner fork is also referred to as the place fork, you savage!

 

 

 

 

“I miss the sound of your voice”

There’s something inside the anatomy of the soul, some tone that we can all replicate, the excitement we feel when we finally see someone or hear from them after so long. I know you told me to be safe, and I am. I guess it gets a little bit lonely. It’s the strangest thing. Isn’t it? Having people to talk to, but not always wanting to talk to them. Having people to be around, but not always wanting to be around people. I’ve been thinking about myself, and I had a fascinating thought about our emotions and memories of one another. I realize that my thoughts are a wild series of an apartment inside, of another apartment. Sometimes I have to split myself into many pieces, each living and breathing, all me, peeking out of the window into another set of myself—a watcher of watchers. There’s something intimate about watching yourself behave. What a beautifully torn creature, full of ideas and denials, happiness and rage, sadness and longing. Full of myself and empty at the same time— There’s something beautiful about the way we craft our mannerisms to fit in or to stand out Maybe, it’s a hypersensitive need for someone to love us openly, freely, and genuinely, or to tell them to stay the fuck away. Either I’m weird enough for you to love me or weird enough for you to stay out of my way. Either way, being me is all I’ve known, so I guess when I say

“I miss the sound of your voice”

It probably just means that I miss that piece of myself that laughed when I didn’t need to and smiled when I didn’t need to. I just felt like it. It was never forced. It was natural just to be alive. All of that spark in my eyes. That fire in my belly— I miss that part of myself too.

~M

 

 

 

D is for Dominance:

Dominance in a BDSM relationship involves one partner assuming control and authority over the other, creating a dynamic built on trust, communication, and consent. The dominant leads the interaction, setting rules, giving commands, and guiding the submissive through various activities and scenes. This power exchange can manifest in numerous ways, from gentle guidance and protection to more intense forms of control and discipline. Essential to a healthy D/S relationship is the emphasis on consent, respect, and understanding the boundaries and desires of the submissive, ensuring a safe and fulfilling experience for the partners. Dominance is not about exerting power but about fostering a deep emotional and psychological connection, where the dominant provides structure, support, and care within the negotiated limits of the relationship.

 

©TLK2024

 

 

 

 

 

C is for Consent:

Consent is the cornerstone of all BDSM activities, distinguishing them from abuse or coercion. It is the voluntary, informed, and enthusiastic agreement between all parties involved in a scene or relationship. Consent ensures that everyone is aware of the nature of the activities, understands the risks, and agrees to participate without any pressure or manipulation.

In BDSM, consent is often established through negotiation, where partners discuss their limits, desires, and boundaries beforehand. Safe words are commonly used to provide a clear and immediate way to stop or modify the activities during a scene. Consent is an ongoing process, meaning it can be revoked at any time, and all parties must respect these boundaries to maintain trust and safety. Understanding and prioritizing consent creates a respectful and empowering environment, allowing individuals to explore their kinks and dynamics in a safe, consensual, and mutually satisfying manner.

©TLK2024

 

 

 

Life. Break in me what needs to be broken.

Fix my hope of ever being fixed. Use me.

Draw every ounce of creativity out of me.

Help me live a radically unique life, forever forging a never-before-trodden path in the forest.

Show me how to love more deeply than I ever thought possible.

Whatever I am still turning away from, keep shoving in my face.

Whatever I am still at war with, help me soften towards, relax into, fully embrace. Where my heart is still closed, show me a way to open it without violence. Where I am still holding on, help me let go.

Give me challenges and struggles and seemingly insurmountable obstacles, if that will bring an even deeper humility and trust in the intelligence of life. Help me laugh at my own seriousness. Allow me to find the humor in the dark places. Show me a profound sense of rest in the midst of the storm. Don't spare me from the truth. Ever.

Let gratitude be my guide. Let forgiveness be my mantra. Let this moment be a constant companion. Let me see Your face in every face. Let me feel Your warm presence in my own presence. Hold me when I stumble.

Breathe me when I cannot breathe.

Let me die living, not live dying.

Amen.

- Jeff Foster, A Prayer for the Living

 

 

 

"None of us have the promise of tomorrow. God forbid this is my last day on this beautiful earth, it won't be spent listening to some news person telling me how rotten we are, how rotten life is, heck no, I'm going out and seeing how beautiful life is.

As humans, our time on this planet is very limited...

Turn off, tune out, and turn on your life. Peace"

~Frank Zappa

 

I do believe Frank was on to something. We often get caught up in fixating on the negative aspects of life while overlooking the breathtaking and hidden beauty that surrounds us.

 

Photo Taken By: Me

 

 

Exploring BDSM can be a profoundly enriching and intimate experience, and learning how to build a foundation of safety, communication, and consent in BDSM is essential to ensure these explorations are positive and fulfilling. To help avoid negative experiences, it is crucial to approach BDSM with a foundation of safety, communication, and informed, revocable consent. By adhering to these principles, participants can create a safe and consensual environment, fostering a deeper connection and a more satisfying experience for all involved.

Above all, approach BDSM exploration with an unwavering commitment to safety, communication, and informed, revocable consent. Prioritize the well-being of yourself and your partner(s) by thoroughly educating yourselves about the practices, risks, and safety measures associated with BDSM activities. Take the time to research, attend workshops, or seek guidance from experienced practitioners to ensure a comprehensive understanding of potential physical and emotional impacts.

Informed consent goes beyond a mere verbal agreement; it requires a deep understanding of what each participant is consenting to, including the potential risks involved. Discuss boundaries, preferences, and any limitations beforehand, allowing partners to make informed decisions about the activities they are comfortable engaging in. Be transparent about your intentions, desires, and any past experiences that may influence your BDSM dynamics, fostering a sense of trust and mutual understanding.

Revocable consent acknowledges that individuals have the right to change their minds at any point, even if prior consent was given. Establish clear signals or safe words to communicate discomfort or the need to pause or stop the scene altogether. Respect these boundaries without hesitation or judgment, prioritizing the emotional and physical well-being of your partner above all else.

Effective communication serves as the cornerstone of navigating the complexities of BDSM dynamics, fostering a safe and consensual environment for exploration. Engage in open dialogue before, during, and after play sessions, checking in with each other to ensure ongoing comfort and satisfaction. Embrace active listening and empathy, acknowledging and validating each other\’s feelings to cultivate a deeper connection rooted in trust and mutual respect.

Regularly revisit and reassess your boundaries and consent agreements as your relationship evolves, acknowledging that preferences and comfort levels may change over time. Remain adaptable and responsive to each other\’s needs, prioritizing ongoing consent and communication as you continue to explore the depths of BDSM together. By upholding these principles, you can embark on a journey of sexual exploration that is not only exhilarating but also safe, consensual, and deeply fulfilling for all involved.

The key to a fulfilling BDSM experience lies in an unwavering commitment to safety, communication, and informed, revocable consent. By prioritizing safety, communication, and consent through education, establishing clear boundaries, and maintaining open dialogue, participants can create a trusting and respectful environment. Recognizing that consent can be revoked at any time ensures that all parties feel secure and valued. Adhering to these principles fosters a deeply satisfying and safe exploration of BDSM, enriching the connection and enjoyment for everyone involved.

©TLK2024

 

 

 

 

Simply being a partner in a D/s relationship confers no inherent advantage, guarantee of happiness, or fulfillment. Like any relationship, it thrives only when each partner accepts their responsibility as one half of an intricate dance, making a conscious daily effort to celebrate their partner.

The paradox that every woman exploring submission must eventually learn to understand and accept is that in accepting his collar, and clicking her leash into place, she is not becoming a slave: she is being set free. It is not a man, but her freedom from inhibition, and the freedom to become who she has always wanted to be that she is giving herself to.

The challenge that every man aspiring to dominance must accept is in understanding that her submission doesn’t make him a master, it makes him a servant. Great dominants accept with glee the challenge of taking a powerful being into their capable hands and, like grapes from the best vines, knowing how to squeeze her in all the ways that extract the very finest of her fruit. Then with patience and dedication, it can ferment into something seductive and beautiful.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Desire gets a bad rap. It makes us do things our parents told us were wrong. It doesn’t like rules and doesn’t abide by the laws of appropriateness. It eats more than a lady should, in more ways than one. It uses good China when there’s no company coming over, and nothing else is so real, true, and so yours. Desire is your own personal treasure map. It is your guide to becoming the person you were meant to be. Desire is not an indulgence, an enemy, an obstacle. It is the only thing that can quench the deepest thirst within you. Get back in touch with your desire. Start with your body. It knows what you want. Listen to the hunger that whispers and the ones that roar. Pay attention to the magnetic fields that draw you toward one person and away from another. Give your thinking mind a mini-retirement and let your sex make your decisions for a day. (Or a month.) Say yes when you want to say yes. Say no when you want to say no. If you don’t know, say maybe. But follow your desires without dumbing them down. They may not lead you where you want to go, but they will never lead you astray.