It's All Relevant

“Let’s face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on. English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn’t a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.”

— (via be-killed, One of my favorite poets)

I want afternoon naps on the couch, stormy days snuggled together. I want true loyalty and trenchant honesty, to own a pair of jeans that fit just right, and conversations that make me think for days. I want unplanned road trips. I want new tattoos, have someone make me a new Spotify playlist and explore tidal pools. I want heartfelt late-night texts. I want to make art, polaroid photoshoots, and find hidden notes on my windshield. I want movie nights. I want to see bands in seedy dingy bars, hike with no destination, I want kisses that make me feel drunk. I want patience and passion. I want to know I made a difference.

Princess cards she sends me with her regards
Barroom eyes shine vacancy, to see her you gotta look hard
Wounded deep in battle, I stand stuffed like some soldier undaunted
To her Cheshire smile. I'll stand on file, she's all I ever wanted
But you let your blue walls get in the way of these facts
Honey, get your carpetbaggers off my back
You wouldn't even give me time to cover my tracks
You said, "Here's your mirror and your ball and jacks."
But they're not what I came for, and I'm sure you see that too

I came for you, for you, I came for you, but you did not need my urgency
I came for you, for you, I came for you, but your life was one long emergency
And your cloud line urges me, and my electric surges free

Crawl into my ambulance, your pulse is getting weak
Reveal yourself all now to me girl while you've got the strength to speak
Cause they're waiting for you at Bellevue with their oxygen masks
But I could give it all to you now if only you could ask
And don't call for your surgeon even he says it's too late
It's not your lungs this time, it's your heart that holds your fate
Don't give me money, honey, I don't want it back
You and your pony face and your union jack
Well take your local joker and teach him how to act
I swear I was never that way even when I really cracked
Didn't you think I knew that you were born with the power of a locomotive?
Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound?

And your Chelsea suicide with no apparent motive
You could laugh and cry in a single sound
And your strength is devastating in the face of all these odds
Remember how I kept you waiting when it was my turn to be the god?
You were not quite half so proud when I found you broken on the beach
Remember how I poured salt on your tongue and hung just out of reach
And the band they played the homecoming theme as I caressed your cheek
They ragged, jagged melody she still clings to me like a leech

But that medal you wore on your chest always got in the way
Like a little girl with a trophy so soft to buy her way
We were both hitchhikers but you had your ear tuned to the roar
Of some metal-tempered engine on an alien, distant shore
So you, left to find a better reason than the one we were living for
And it's not that nursery mouth I came back for
It's not the way you're stretched out on the floor
Cause I've broken all your windows and I've rammed through all your doors
And who am I to ask you to lick my sores?
And you should know that's true...
I came for you, for you, I came for you, but you did not need my urgency
I came for you, for you, I came for you, but your life was one long emergency
And your cloud line urges me, and my electric surges free

Rows and flows of angel hair
And ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons everywhere
I've looked at clouds that way

But now they only block the sun
They rain and snow on everyone
So many things I would have done
But clouds got in my way

I've looked at clouds from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
It's cloud illusions I recall
I really don't know clouds at all

Moons and Junes and Ferris wheels
The dizzy dancing way you feel
As every fairy tale comes real
I've looked at love that way

But now it's just another show
You leave 'em laughing when you go
And if you care, don't let them know
Don't give yourself away

I've looked at love from both sides now
From give and take, and still somehow
It's love's illusions I recall
I really don't know love at all

Tears and fears and feeling proud
To say "I love you" right out loud
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds
I've looked at life that way

But now old friends are acting strange
They shake their heads, they say I've changed
Well something's lost, but something's gained
In living every day

I've looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all

I've looked at life from both sides now
From up and down and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all

The older I get the less I care about how stupid I look. I eat alone because sometimes your own company is better than anyone you’d want to have lunch with. I make friends with people who are nice to me regardless of what they do or where they’re from. Good energy is hard to find these days. When I want to laugh or cry or love, I do it. Because if you can’t be true to your feelings, you might as well be living someone else’s life.

~M

I have come across many women in my lifetime. Women with alluring eyes, and amazing smiles. Women with lovely bodies, and endless curves. I have come across women from all walks of life, that have the exteriors of goddesses. The women that always remain the most memorable to me, are the women with beautiful minds. These women stimulate every part of the soul. These women have plenty of layers to their soul and get more beautiful as you unpeel the surface. The women you can have a conversation with about ideas, music, spirituality, and art at 3 o'clock in the morning. these women who can feed your soul effortlessly and share their energy unselfishly. These women have stories to tell about love, heartache, and growth. These women with more to them than meets the eye. A beautiful face will keep you intrigued for a short time, but a beautiful mind will keep you intrigued forever.

Hey...girl
Take out the dagger
And let's have a stab at the sexual revolution
Hey girl
Let freedom for all be our rallying call
Tomorrow lets make...our new resolution
Yeah, but tonight lie still
While I plunder your sweet grave
And remember
Only the poor can be saved

Hey girl
As I've always said I prefer your lips red
Not what the good Lord made
But what he intended
Hey girl
Don't point the finger at me
I am only a rat in a maze like you
And only the dead go free
So...please hold my hand
As we blunder through the maze
And remember
Nothing can grow without rain
(Thunder)
Don't point
Don't point your finger at me
I awoke in a fever
The bedclothes were all soaked in sweat
She said "You've been having a nightmare
And it's not over yet"
Then she picked up the doggy in the window
(The one with the waggly tail)
And she put him to bed between two bits of bread

His hands. That was the first thing I noticed about him. He had long fingers that were slightly calloused. The skin bore the marks of a man who worked hard. My eyes focused on his hands as he talked. I listened as he talked about his job, his favorite artists, his favorite bands, his favorite writers, his crazy stories about traveling, and, his family. I watched him talk with his hands, effortlessly moving them as he spoke, unaware of how they affected me. I was lost in my thoughts, wondering how they would feel on my skin, moving across my face, cupping my breasts, pinching my nipples, squeezing my ass. Suddenly he reached across the table and touched my hand, jolting me back to the conversation. I was so surprised at how soft his hands were when he touched me. “Are you ready, sweetheart?  I was.

There is a minimal selection of things that make me feel alive. They include music, a paintbrush in my hand, a blank canvas. A strong hand wrapped around the nape of my neck and the other on the small of my back. I have a thing for strong hands, a fetish if you will.

I have been involved in this lifestyle for over twenty-five years and I've learned a lot. But, I am wise enough to know that there are things I can still learn every day.

I will never have a ton of friends. I’m not that type of person. But the friends I do have I cherish very much. I am quiet most of the time. My sense of humor is very dry and on occasion, sarcastic. I love to laugh, though.

I love vinyl albums. Music is my Savior. It's been here for me when nothing else has

I’m not cynical or bitter I'm just too tired to talk about things that don’t matter. I've reached the age where I value my time more and more. I don't mind small talk, but, what I really love is people with some depth that bring something to the table. So we can talk about something that rings my bell. Especially art, music, and dare I say literature and poetry?.

I love to create. I am an artist. The world doesn’t have enough beauty. I don’t want to pretend I’m not smart and capable and passionate about things. I am.

I don’t entirely know who I am, but I’m very close to finding out.

~M