My Daddy, My Desires and the Damn Distance in between

I'm a collared slave who is adored by my Daddy, my Master, my Sir...but I only have his touch 10 days a month. This is my outlet to express my feelings and desires for him.
1 hour ago. Sat 20 Oct 2018 05:26:55 AM IDT

At this point we have about 38 more hours together before he has to leave again. Im having very mixed emotions... I want to enjoy every second of the these last hours...I can feel the sadness and the dread sinking in. I don't want any of that to come out over the limited time we have together...

How do you express how much you are going to miss someone and not make them feel bad? I don't want him or myself to feel bad or sad...but those emotions are very real for me. I want him to know that I will miss him so much when he is gone...but I want him to know this because I Love him. Is that a female thing? Because he is much better at this than I am...I mean I think some of the emotions that I have get on his nerves...I don't know if it's because he doesn't know how to respond or if he really doesnt want me to miss him?

Either way I get perplexed as to how act sometimes... Do I show my emotions so he can see how I feel about him and know how much I want to be by his side at all times? Or do I keep the happy face all the time and not let him see that side...just let everything be wonderful all the time? My face gives me away for how I am feeling most of the time...so that last part is extremely difficult.

Today he placed my new collar on me...and I love it. It is absolutley gorgeous. This a discrete day collar that was specially made for me. He placed it around my neck, latched the tiny heart locket and secured it with a tiny key. This has to be the most precious thing that has ever been given to me. It truly shows that I am bonded to him. I cant explain the pride I feel with this beautiful gift around my neck. 

Somehow this symbol of ownership does show me how he feels as well...even though he is doesn't express his feelings in words quite like I do...he does in other ways. One of them (and one of the most precious to me) is how he does exerts his ownership of me...and this beautiful collar around my neck will remind me everyday of how he feels...especially when I need it most when he is gone.

I can easily pretend that this tiny lock around my neck is for me to keep all of these emotions that bind me to him inside of it...along with the emotions that I think he has...and smile knowing that it holds inside of it what drives our passion. This will help me keep a smile...not to cry so much when he is gone...and remember why he gave it to me and be proud that he chose me.

Until Tomorrow....

 

2 hours ago. Sat 20 Oct 2018 04:47:23 AM IDT

Today is the day I have been waiting for...Daddy is home!!!!

All day I was gitty....just waiting until I got to pick him up from the airport. I had a hard time concentrating at work...the clock was testing me by ticking away ever so slowly. I had to write down tasks to ensure I completed them. I double checked everything before I left because I knew that my mind was nowhere near work today...so I know I probably missed something.

I headed to the gym...stayed on the machine longer that normal...zoned out thinking about him...steady treading along with a beeping that get louder...I finally realize the machines alarm is going off because my heart rate is too high and it wants me to slow down!!

I come home grab a few bites to eat and then start preparing to get to my Daddy. I jump in the shower...shave very slowly to ensure everything is smooth...get out and try off....cover myself in body oil to ensure my skin is smooth. Get dressed, makeup and hair and head out the door.

Stop at Starbucks to grab a pick-me-up and head to the airport.

There I am waiting at the airport in my above the knee boots, school girl outfit and no panties. Just 30 minutes early...lol...but there I am...just watching the doors for him to come out.

There he comes!!! I get out of the car and he comes and grabs me...we embrace and kiss and I almost forget that I have on a school girl skirt, no panties and the wind is blowing. I move to the passenger side...and he stands at the window kissing me until he knows the luggage is ready.

We leave the airport and I cant control myself...my hand is rubbing his massive cock and Im kissing him on the side of his face....Once we make it home his hands are all over me as we walk up the sidewalk. We make it inside and its not long before I have pulled on his pants and taken him in my mouth. I love to hear him moan! He cock tastes so good...the smell of him is intoxicating me. 

I could suck him forever...he tastes and smells so good that I could almost orgasm sucking his cock! He pulls himself off the edge of the bed and makes himself more comfortable in the center of the bed....even more accessable!!! This position is allowing him to grab my ass and rub my pussy as I suck on him...OH God...I want to come so bad....but he says NO.

He backs off a little and then starts again....he is edging me. He won't let me cum again!! He pushes me to my back...and undresses me...the teases me with his cock....just putting a little of the head in....this is driving me crazy....I beg to cum....still he denies me.

He pulls me down so he can go down on me....OMG I can't stand it anymore....I am begging him...He tells me yes...I may cum. I am cumming!!! This feels so amazing....and as I am cumming he pushes me back farther and licks my ass and pussy...Im cumming harder!!! I start to shake and jerk....and then he pulls me to him and slides he head inside me....teasing me again...but then he takes me...OMG... my body is screaming with pleasure from the tips of my toes to the ends of my hair....I can feel it coming....the orgasm that only he can give me....only this time is lasting forever...my body is feeling the aftershocks and still cumming!!!

He is holding me and I convulse and starts again....I cover my own mouth because I feel like I am going to scream loud enough for the neighbors neighbors to hear me.... I didn't even know I could feel this amazing.....

We take a break....smoke a cigarette....

Laying in the bed...and we start again....

He pulls me on top of him....I can feel him so deep inside me.....As I ride him and feel every inch of him...I can't help but lose myself and take over for a minute....and he lets me!!! He is pulling at my skin...raking his nails over my front and my back....bringing me to another orgasm that is so strong the its pushing him out....he pulls me in tighter to him.....both of his hands are full my hair....keeping me tight against him as he thrusts up inside me....

He moves my leg and moves behind me quickly...He is pulling my hips into him....and begging him to fuck me harder....my hips turn into his handles and I can feel him pushing the limits of my insides....and I EXPLODE....and so does he....pure heaven....

Now I lay here typing this blog....this is one of my rules....blog every night so he can see my thoughts....

He is beside me sleeping so soundly...the anticipation of his home coming was definately worth the wait for this moment. The world is exactly how it should be...RIGHT NOW and RIGHT HERE...my heart is beating with his rhythm and my soul is back with its source of energy. 21 days waiting for this moment....and it couldn't have been more perfect...

Until tomorrow...

1 day ago. Fri 19 Oct 2018 06:30:42 AM IDT

In preparation for my impending punishment...we filled out the punishment cards. 

He is starting me off with 15 possible punishments. We filled out 15 cards with said punishments and discussed how the punishments would be done and administered. 

I asked if he would be administering my impending punishment for the breaking of a rule now...and he told me that I would have to wait...probably until tomorrow.

So now I wait... wondering what it will be? Which one of the 15 will be my fate? Can I handle it? Will it effect me negatively or positively? Or Both? I’m finding myself a little excited to find out? Is it bad that I’m kind of looking forward to the punishment? Even though I didn’t try to get it? Even though I’m kind of afraid?

To ease my nerves Sir gave me the best deep orgasm tonight! His cock does magic inside my pussy...He starts with his hand around my throat and his cock in and out playing with my pussy which makes me cum and then he stops and goes down on me and sucks on my clit...and plays with my ass...changing to a different orgasm...and then pulls me in hard and pushes me up to fuck me deep as I’m coming off of an orgasm...it builds another deeper orgasm that builds and builds as he is deep iinside...I start to explode and so does he which just puts the cherry on top of the most amazing orgasm....

If the anticipation of punishment from both sides makes us cum like this...bring on the punishment..

Until tomorrow....

1 day ago. Fri 19 Oct 2018 01:31:49 AM IDT

I fell asleep before I blogged yesterday or last night. I have broken a rule. 

I am now waiting for punishment. There are no more “buys”...no more passes...it’s all on me now.

What will it be? Will it hurt? Even though I don’t want to be punished...I know I deserve it. I have been forgetting some of my rules while he is here with me...it’s so distracting because I just want to be with him!

I am preparing myself for what is about to happen. Hopefully he will be gentle for my first encounter with punishment.

Until Later...

3 days ago. Wed 17 Oct 2018 06:48:53 AM IDT

Today we set out to drive back home...a 10 hour drive that I would have him all to myself!

Holding hands 90% of the way and enjoying the beautiful views he is showing me. I read to him most of the way...as we both enjoy erotic stories and mini novels. 

With a little more than an hour left I’m the drive I want to go over a check of the rules and see how I am doing. As I have stated before in previous blogs this is my first time in a true D/S relationship and I am still learning quite a bit.

Some of the rules are still hard for me to remember...like asking for permission for all of my needs/wants...things like going to the restroom...I forget to ask. So we talked about expectations and the why behind them. We talked about how it makes him feel when I forget. It makes him feel like I am not focused on him...which is definitely not what I want!! I want to please jim every second of the day!!!

We talk about me sharing my choice of submitting to him with my friends and family. How it feels as though I’m hiding it from them... I don’t think I’m hiding anything from anyone...but he is correct in the fact that I haven’t shared it with anyone either.

Its not that I don’t want to...but I’ve never been in the habit of letting others into my world. That part is hard for me. I have no idea why... I think sharing with my friends is easy...if they ask I will tell...but coming out and telling is something i need to do....and I will.

Now my family is different. How do you explain your life choice to people that are not educated about this lifestyle? How do you make them understand that it’s more than just sexual...it’s a different kind of commitment that we have made to each other...that goes much deeper than sex? Will they understand? Idk?? I don’t care what they think of me...I know they will love me either way...but they will judge us...and I don’t want that. I just want everyone to be happy and content with everyone all the time. Is that too much to ask!? This is exactly why I don’t like the news...I don’t like politics...I DONT LIKE DRAMA!!

I just want him...and to be happy all the days of our lives. And for him to be pleased with all I am to him.

i will work on freeing my mind to make it 100% open to him all the time.

Until tomorrow...

3 days ago. Tue 16 Oct 2018 07:26:08 AM IDT

Master and I are laying in the bed in this sweet little bungalow that we have rented...kissing and filling each other’s bodies...when he pulls me on top of him and tells me to make love to him.

Im kissing his neck, his face...and then he puts himself inside of me. My pussy is so tight that I have to go slow...his cock is so massive I can feel how my pussy is stretching around him...such sweet pain. 

As I move I can feel myself getting wetter and wetter...the slow movement is is building the pleasure...he tells me not to move...and now he is moving...thrusting up inside of me.

He grabs fists full of hair and is pushing me down harder into him....I beg him to let me move...he allows me hips to move...and before I know it I am riding him hard...and didn’t even realize that I have pinned his arms and have taken control of mine and his pleasure.

i can feel him so deep inside me...i move faster and harder....im asking for permission to cum and he grants my wish! As I’m Cumming he is pulling at my skin...raking his nails down my front and my back...and this just drives me wild...I’m riding him fast and hard again...I going to orgasm again and he says your going to make me cum...grabs me hair again and we are both grinding into each other and we both explode!! 

As I’m shaking and he’s holding me...he says that’s the last time you do that...i said “Do what?” And he says take control of when I cum.... whoops...I guess I did...but it was so good... and I really think he liked it too...

We woke up this morning early and I begged to suck his cock...he allowed me too only if I made it super wet.... 

i must of sucked it right and made it wet enough to please...because he fucked me hard...and we came together again.

this trip has been amazing...I wish we could stay naked and away from the world forever...

until tomorrow 

5 days ago. Mon 15 Oct 2018 05:26:47 AM IDT

We are driving...and driving. We are headed to get his “things” that are in a storage. This trip will bring all of our “things” together! I’m so excited...not only to be able be with him alone for the next couple of days...but to be one step closer to mine/yours becoming ours.

Our wild romance has been crazy...we knew basically from first time we were together that we wanted to be each other’s partner...initially it was sex partners...but nevertheless partners. By the third time we were together we knew we wanted to be in our dom/sub relationship. Now we are trying to maneuver our lives and careers so I can be with him full time...to serve him and love him 24/7.

I am so excited about this I can’t stand it!! But sometimes its hard to read him...I’m very open with my feelings. I tell him everything (I still am working on talking when I’m mad/hurt...cause I shut down). He will tell me what he needs to...but to be open with the way he feels or concerns he has....that is few and far between. Why? Is it me? No no...i know it’s not...he keeps tell that this is the way he is....i wonder though if that’s always the truth? Not that I think he is lying...but maybe he’s afraid of giving me the truth.

Maybe we are the same...maybe we have the same fears. Maybe my fear of not being good enough and him figuring that out and leaving and wanting to be validated and touched by him constantly matches an opposite fear of his. I have no idea what that could be....but what if?? 

I don’t think I should be left to my own thoughts sometimes. I either want to be in his arms where I can feel how he cares about me...or I’m fighting the thoughts in my head! Why??

I don’t have a single doubt in my head about him and the life i want with him. Not one...i am so ready to be 100% his and serve him on s daily basis....so why do I worry??? Maybe because I have never loved someone like him...maybe because I have to give it all up him...maybe because this is the part of learning how to be truly submissive that is hard!!! I just don’t want to fail him like the last one did....

There must be something in the air...with all these thoughts going through my head...and the nervousness of losing him...I’ve had ex-boyfriends and guys that were interested in me texting me over the last 48 hours...like why??? Don’t you people know that i have a Master and i do t want him to think I am doing anything wrong!!! Ugh....

With the drama in his life...I just want ours to be amazing. Better than he ever dreamed!! 

I can’t wait unti we get where we are going so he can take me in his arms and hold me. This immediately makes all the bad thoughts go away....not mention the amazing orgasms that goes with it!

until tomorrow...

5 days ago. Mon 15 Oct 2018 12:03:43 AM IDT

The entire day we spent together....doing the regular couple thing. Walking around, shopping...holding hands...enjoying life. It so nice to be out with him...being seen with him...being proud to be his.

We come back home to rest a little and get prepared to go out to dinner. Master lays out my clothes for me and picks out my shoes...I love that he dresses me like his doll. It makes me feel so special.

Our dinner date is wonderful...he looked so handsome and smelled so good...I couldn’t help but to sneak a little rub of his cock underneath table every so often! His dominance over me makes me tingle inside as he orders for me...and doesn’t let others talk to me. I love it...

Once home we watch TV for a bit and then he is ready for bed. I remember to ask for permission to sleep the bed with him and he grants it. 

I crawl into bed and into his arms...the feel of his body and mine together...completely naked and touching where ever we possibly can is my little piece of heaven. He is kissing me so passionately I know that he is going to make love to me tonight...not have sex, not fuck...he is going to make love to me.

He is on top of me, kissing me. He slides his head inside of me and gives me a taste...now he’s going down sucking my nipples, kissing my stomach...making his way to my pussy. He kissing my thighs...sucking on the insides of my thighs and my pussy lips...just driving me wild!

He moves to my pussy and I can feel his breath...and then his lips...and then his tongue. He is bringing me to ecstasy  with his toughest and his fingers....he knows just how to make me cum. 

He has made me cum twice already and as I am cumming for the 3rd time...he’s up and pulling me into him and inside me ...and this just makes me cum harder. He goes down on me again...and then he is up again...telling me to touch myself...he wants me to rub my clit as he is slowly going in and out of me....I feel another orgasm building...and know this will be a big one. I stop rubbing to let the orgasm come hard by him...and when it does...he pulls my legs up to go in deeper....OMG...I am exploding when he cums with me...and I feel it pulsing inside of me....making my body shake...and he holds me so tight....I whisper to him how much I Love him...

I ask for permission again to just lay in bed with him and not to blog for the night. He grants it.

Up this morning and going...we are in a toad trip for the next couple of days!!

We had an amazing shower...after I washed him he rewards me by bending me over and fucking me until  I cum...twice.

We are beginning our trip when he says...Do you think you have been good? Oh shit!! I think so...but now I’m questioning myself. He says what have you forgotten? I remembered that I got a pass to not blog last night...but I was supposed to do it first thing the morning...whoops!! And then he says...What else?OMG...I have actually forgotten 3 other rules!! One of them was asking for permission to cum?!?

All I want to do is please him and show him that my world is him!!! And I’m failing!! I have to get it together!! I know he is ready to punish me...the “buys” that he keeps giving me are short!!!

How do I remember all of this when I get so distracted by him?? Just his voice mesmerizes me...he catches me staring at him regularly!! I need to find a way to ensure I am showing him I am committed to him!!

i know this is a ramble...but my world is so up in cloud nine that that’s what I feel...just like I’m floatin through right now...being lead by him.

until tonight....

6 days ago. Sat 13 Oct 2018 08:31:34 PM IDT

I’m floating on a cloud...cherishing every single moment I have with him. Even the simple things are precious... like watching him check his phone, watch the TV, pick out his clothes, brush his teeth...every single thing is precious for me.

Today I made sure to take note on how his hand feels in mine, how his eyes look when he kisses me, exactly how his lips feel against mine. 

I had to go to work for a little while today. I took the chance to read over my rules one more time...I’m really having a hard time remembering all of them while he is here. As I am telling him that I’m having a hard time remembering he says “I know”. So of course I asked what have I forgotten today? He tells me that I am supposed to be asking permission for everything....everything. I ask what do you mean everything....he gives me an example by telling me that I should be asking if I could eat my dinner, etc. Oh I said...I didn’t realize.

He proceeds to tell me that he is giving me time to learn the rules before he has full expectations of what I should be doing...but that I needed to start. 

I will start. I want to please every part of him. I want to him let me take care of every need he has and let him take care of me. I so humbled by the way he makes me feel. I just want this to grow and grow...until we are fully in sync with each other.

i ask him for permission to sleep in his bed...he allows me you in. We cuddle and rub on each other. I ask for permission to suck his cock. He allows me to. I take him in my mouth...he tastes so good...I lost in the way he feels in my mouth...he is grabbing my hair, pulling it away from my face so he can see me...he is moaning now...I love to hear him moan....he turns me over and pulls my legs up...he is teaseing me with the head of his cock again...I love the way he looks at me while he is teasing me...I pushes inside of me and lets feel him for a while....slow and steady. Then he pulls me back down the bed and buries his head in my pussy...sucking and flicking and edging me so I am about to explode! He slides his fingers inside of me driving me crazy...and I start to cum...he slides another finger in my ass and it just pushes me over the edge...I can’t hold on to it anymore...I’m begging to let me cum! He growls “cum for Daddy” and I explode....he flips me onto my side and slides inside of me...this position he can go deeper...and he does....I love this pain...it’s the best pleasure. He flips me over to the other side and takes me again...he is using my leg to pull I to him...now I’m begging him to fuck me harder...to let me hear his pleasure...I can feel him about to explode ...I start to cum and it’s so amazing all I can do it bite the pillow...he pulls he hard into him and explodes I side of me...this makes me cum harder and harder... he stays inside of me and lays behind me...still teasing me with his cock...I can’t help. It to cum again...like an amazing aftershock....and he holds me as I shiver...this is the life...

I fell asleep and he grants me permission to blog today instead of last night...he tells me he wants to hold me...we cuddle and hold each other all night.

i can’t wait for tonight.

 

until tonight...

1 week ago. Fri 12 Oct 2018 09:34:11 AM IDT

Today is the day I have been waiting for...Daddy is home!!!!

All day I was gitty....just waiting until I got to pick him up from the airport. I had a hard time concentrating at work...the clock was testing me by ticking away ever so slowly. I had to write down tasks to ensure I completed them. I double checked everything before I left because I knew that my mind was nowhere near work today...so I know I probably missed something.

I headed to the gym...stayed on the machine longer that normal...zoned out thinking about him...steady treading along with a beeping that get louder...I finally realize the machines alarm is going off because my heart rate is too high and it wants me to slow down!!

I come home grab a few bites to eat and then start preparing to get to my Daddy. I jump in the shower...shave very slowly to ensure everything is smooth...get out and try off....cover myself in body oil to ensure my skin is smooth. Get dressed, makeup and hair and head out the door.

Stop at Starbucks to grab a pick-me-up and head to the airport.

There I am waiting at the airport in my above the knee boots, school girl outfit and no panties. Just 30 minutes early...lol...but there I am...just watching the doors for him to come out.

There he comes!!! I get out of the car and he comes and grabs me...we embrace and kiss and I almost forget that I have on a school girl skirt, no panties and the wind is blowing. I move to the passenger side...and he stands at the window kissing me until he knows the luggage is ready.

We leave the airport and I cant control myself...my hand is rubbing his massive cock and Im kissing him on the side of his face....Once we make it home his hands are all over me as we walk up the sidewalk. We make it inside and its not long before I have pulled on his pants and taken him in my mouth. I love to hear him moan! He cock tastes so good...the smell of him is intoxicating me. 

I could suck him forever...he tastes and smells so good that I could almost orgasm sucking his cock! He pulls himself off the edge of the bed and makes himself more comfortable in the center of the bed....even more accessable!!! This position is allowing him to grab my ass and rub my pussy as I suck on him...OH God...I want to come so bad....but he says NO.

He backs off a little and then starts again....he is edging me. He won't let me cum again!! He pushes me to my back...and undresses me...the teases me with his cock....just putting a little of the head in....this is driving me crazy....I beg to cum....still he denies me.

He pulls me down so he can go down on me....OMG I can't stand it anymore....I am begging him...He tells me yes...I may cum. I am cumming!!! This feels so amazing....and as I am cumming he pushes me back farther and licks my ass and pussy...Im cumming harder!!! I start to shake and jerk....and then he pulls me to him and slides he head inside me....teasing me again...but then he takes me...OMG... my body is screaming with pleasure from the tips of my toes to the ends of my hair....I can feel it coming....the orgasm that only he can give me....only this time is lasting forever...my body is feeling the aftershocks and still cumming!!!

He is holding me and I convulse and starts again....I cover my own mouth because I feel like I am going to scream loud enough for the neighbors neighbors to hear me.... I didn't even know I could feel this amazing.....

We take a break....smoke a cigarette....

Laying in the bed...and we start again....

He pulls me on top of him....I can feel him so deep inside me.....As I ride him and feel every inch of him...I can't help but lose myself and take over for a minute....and he lets me!!! He is pulling at my skin...raking his nails over my front and my back....bringing me to another orgasm that is so strong the its pushing him out....he pulls me in tighter to him.....both of his hands are full my hair....keeping me tight against him as he thrusts up inside me....

He moves my leg and moves behind me quickly...He is pulling my hips into him....and begging him to fuck me harder....my hips turn into his handles and I can feel him pushing the limits of my insides....and I EXPLODE....and so does he....pure heaven....

Now I lay here typing this blog....this is one of my rules....blog every night so he can see my thoughts....

He is beside me sleeping so soundly...the anticipation of his home coming was definately worth the wait for this moment. The world is exactly how it should be...RIGHT NOW and RIGHT HERE...my heart is beating with his rhythm and my soul is back with its source of energy. 21 days waiting for this moment....and it couldn't have been more perfect...

Until tomorrow...