Just thinking

Ok I just wanted to say a few things. Not sure I know how to explain what it is that I feel i am I know I am a subservient type of person cause I love to do things for my Daddy.I like to cook,bake,smokemeat, even do things around the house I also k ow I dont do age play cause I dont pretend to be a young age really. But I'd say i am borderline little only because i do like to color,paint,draw, and build stuff. And definitely not a brat unless I am just teasing him which he knows.he loves to cook as well and sometimes. There is somthing that just doesn't look appealing he takes the daddy approach in that lol. That's a little of what I learned about myself during this time. I did think at first that I'd be a little only cause books i have read turned me on. But just cause i like reading about them doesn't mean i am one simply cause it turns me on. I do love when he goes in bath with me and stuff. It's all the intament stuff I saw that I liked. It had nothing to do with really being treated as a child to that extent. I do have very few rules but that's between daddy and I.

Ok I got my kids on Sunday and I decided that we would go down to the river behind where I live. It has hiking trails and I took the one to the river.well when we got there the kids where having fun playing in the river for some time next thing I know there was a small dog accross the river she almost falls in I was able to catch her in time. Have no Idea where she came from. At first I though she was a yorki I showed pictures and my boss told me it looks like a chewwawa and she isn't a puppy but dang she is cute as a button. Well I took her to the vet to see if she had a chip and also a friend put her on lost dog site so far owner hasn't come and got her. This dog is so sweet and she is also house trained which surprised me. But any way if the owner doesn't want her I'll take care of her. She was full of fleas she is doing so much better now she may be pregnant vet said. Well if she is I will let her have those puppy's raise and wein them then take them to a no kill shelter besides they would be puppy's and they would get fixed there and be taken care of I might keep one just for my dog if she is pregnant. As soon as them pups are born I will be getting her fixed ASAP.

Saturday was a really rough day for me cause for what ever reason my ex doesn't like to take no for an answer. He kept on trying to get me to go with him back to his place and at one point he said I am coming to get you basically he wasn't taking no for an answer . I called my dad and he came and got me he is fixing to get me an attorney but for now he stays with me until then. He just harasses the heck out of me he even uses the kids talks about he loves me and all. But I did ask him before do you even respect me at all his response was no 😡 so I know all he wants is someone he though he could bully and manipulate. So that's it for now. But I am seriously getting sick of it

I have been thinking a lot about my mom today. As I was driving down the Rd I realized that mom has passed away 8 years ago as of may 17. It's been hard. It isn't the same with out her. Sometimes I want to ask why. But I also know God has his reasons. I'll never understand it but I do know I will see mom again when I see her in heaven. She had limphoma cancer she lived lived with it for about two years she lived life to the fullest with family and friends and brothers and sisters in christ