Some good news before I get onto the actual blog post. I finally got to see my Master again in person and had a lovely pain filled night last night. And I have the bruises to prove it.
So, this a writing assignment from my Master himself. I do have a new perspective on life after this weekend. And this is what has changed.
Before, I would flinch at everything. Master couldn’t touch me without me flinching. Every noise would scare the hell out of me. I was very erratic, undisciplined, unfocused, and impulsive. My mind was constantly telling me I would be attacked. I had panic attacks everyday. I couldn’t trust anyone.
Now though, after all the training I have gone through. I can lay on my Master’s lap and open myself up. Anyone opens the door and I jump a little bit sure. Then I ground myself and can go back to the way I was before. I’m more disciplined, focused, and non impulsive. I’m not having panic attacks and flashbacks everyday all day. I can be around people more often.
And through my training I have gained a new perspective on the world. Not everyone is bad and is going to hurt me. My old Dom, had a funny way of showing he cared. My son and I have finally found the true Meaning of family. My friends and new family have shown me that.
