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The uprising of self

The realisation of self.
The coming together.
The formation.
The real me!
21 hours ago. Sun 24 Mar 2019 08:22:57 PM IST

22 hours ago. Sun 24 Mar 2019 07:47:09 PM IST

"Sometimes as individuals we need to reconnect with ourselves, remember who we are, rebalance, re group. 

As much as I've missed the pool for me I needed time away to collect my thought and find me again. 

It means I've come back stronger, more in control, a knowing of who I am. 

I am not planning on taking no shit. 

I've learnt a lot whilst taking my break - then I went change for anyone - that you'll accept me for who I and appreciate me for me. 

If it means I wait- then I'll wait. 

Theres no need for me to jump into any pool until I'm ready.

The only person I need to impress is me. 

The only person who needs to love me is me. 

If i can be the best version of me then half my journey is done. 

I read other blogs and see the desperation to find the right person.

That's not me. 

All things come to those who wait. 

So wait I shall. 

I enjoy spending time reading blogs, marvelling at the journeys they embark.

I'm human and get jealous of others finding there other person. 

But I know that my journey really has only just started. 

That I have a lot of growing to do. 

A lot of self reflection, alot of learning. 

I'm now at a point where I am happy to learn, to wait, to discover me.

I don't want to he told who i am, but rather be supported in finding me. 

I don't do fast. 

I take things slow.

Don't tell me you're my one when I don't know what my one looks like.

Don't tell me you'll teach me, it's not teaching I need but supportive guidance, an opening of minds and exploration. 

I need someone who is honest with me, who can decipher my meanderings, make sense of my nonsensical interpretations, stay with me as I explore a path that even I know is not for me. 

For we all need to find our own way. 

I am learning from those who have gone before, but I am stubborn and I know I will try it anyway. 

I will make mistakes 

But I will learn from them. 

What I want is friends, I'm not ready for the Dom as yet. 

So for now I remain at the pool. Sometimes I will sit and wriggle my toes in the coolness of the water, lost in thought.

Occasionally I will wade in and paddle. 

I might at times sit in the shallows enjoying the tug and pull of the waves. 

Other times I will sit with a book and watch and take in - my rum and coke in hand. 

I am not ashamed of who I am. 

I am in no desperate need.

Life is too short to  rush into things. 

Life is too short to to not admire the view. 

Life is too short to not appreciate what you have around you. 

Life is too short full stop. 

I've missed you guys immensely.

What I have learnt is being away did not make me happy. 

You guys get me. 

You guys make me feel at home.

You guys have become the ones I can talk to openly with out fear if judgement.

I respect your honesty. 

I respect your opinions. 

So I'm back at the pool. 

Come join me. 

I'll buy you a drink, we can laugh, we can cry, we can share stories and experiences. 

For one thing I've learnt you are stronger together than apart.'

 

 

 

1 month ago. Wed 20 Feb 2019 08:15:21 PM IST

"Life is funny. 
Some times the path we think we should take is not the path eventually taken. 
It can be hard to get your head around that and accept that. 
So I've taken a detour. 
I'm happy with that.

Being comfortable with a change of plans can be tough. 

Especially if those plans are the foundations of a dream. 

I've had to let go of a lot of dreams, and it took its toll.

A change of thinking, a change in  aspirations caused me to stop, re-evaluate where I was in life, of the plans I had in place. 

I looked at the path and saw it clearly in front of me, but obstacles beyond my control stopped me from taking that path.

I've stood a while, and watched, my heart almost torn, hurting knowing I couldn't follow that chosen path. 

I took stock of my surroundings, convince no other path existed. For when we are so focused on the one ahead we often don't see the other pathways around us. 

I saw those other pathways.  I actually saw more clearly than I have ever before.

Their direction not know, but I'm confident the end destination is the same and if not it will be better 

Those paths may cause a detour. 

May be longer. 

But I've learnt that where one door closes others become visible and leaves me with more choice. 

So I'm walking again. 

The journey unknown.

The path unknown. 

But that's not a bad thing. 

I've taken a detour.

New experiences await me. 

I'm comfortable with that. 

New me here I come. 

The pool still awaits. 

One day I'll go swimming. 

With or without soneone.

I'm happy with that. 

I'm good!'

 

1 month ago. Wed 20 Feb 2019 08:06:42 PM IST

"Life is funny. 
Some times the path we think we should take is not the path eventually taken. 
It can be hard to get your head around that and accept that. 
So I've taken a detour. 
I'm happy with that.

Being comfortable with a change of plans can be tough. 

Especially if those plans are the foundations of a dream. 

I've had to let go of a lot of dreams, and it took its toll.

A change of thinking, a change in  aspirations caused me to stop, re-evaluate where I was in life, of the plans I had in place. 

I looked at the path and saw it clearly in front of me, but obstacles beyond my control stopped me from taking that path.

I've stood a while, and watched, my heart almost torn, hurting knowing I couldn't follow that chosen path. 

I took stock of my surroundings, convince no other path existed. For when we are so focused on the one ahead we often don't see the other pathways around us. 

I saw those other pathways.  I actually saw more clearly than I have ever before.

Their direction not know, but I'm confident the end destination is the same and if not it will be better 

Those paths may cause a detour. 

May be longer. 

But I've learnt that where one door closes others become visible and leaves me with more choice. 

So I'm walking again. 

The journey unknown.

The path unknown. 

But that's not a bad thing. 

I've taken a detour.

New experiences await me. 

I'm comfortable with that. 

New me here I come. 

The pool still awaits. 

One day I'll go swimming. 

With or without soneone.

I'm happy with that. 

I'm good!'

 

1 month ago. Thu 14 Feb 2019 01:22:54 PM IST

"So I'm sitting by the pool, today I'm drinking a iced latte.

I've learnt so much in just two weeks. 

I've learnt that rejection doesn't mean I should curl up in a ball and cry, but instead I should stand up tall and refocus.

That I don't need to change me for anyone, that the right person should accept me - flaws and all.

That this journey- my journey- I have no real idea of where it ends.

I have no idea what it looks like.

Just that I put one foot in front of the other and keep moving .

I have faith in me, I trust my judgements. 

But along the way many will cross my path.

Some will stay a while, some will come and go but no matter what I learn.

I won't rush this journey because others may have what I want. 

It's not going to get me there any quicker, instead it will probably take longer.

But instead I'll take my time, smell the roses along the way, love the journey, and learn. 

I still have so much to learn.

Mostly about myself. 

Being comfortable and confident with me. 

And I wont change for anyone!

You either love me or don't. 

That will never be my problem.

I will always just be me!

 

 

 

 

1 month ago. Tue 12 Feb 2019 12:30:23 AM IST

'I was going to write this blog with a different theme and did several times but each time I deleted it. 

You see I always bounce back. 

I'm always ok.

No need to be morose.

But I do need to reflect. 

I do need to stop and have a good look because only by doing that will I learn by my mistakes.

My life has taught me to take note of when things go wrong. 

Examine them.

Figure out what happened.

Only then can you move on

Which is what I'm doing. 

It takes a strong person to examine themselves.

Life has been a teacher of late, I feel I'm back in the classroom. 

I feel that I have much to learn

Running before I can walk is a mistake I make regularly although this time i believe I was jogging instead. 

So I am learning. 

So I'll come out of the pool, take my time. 

There's no need to learn to swim yet, I'm ok sitting out watching.

I'd rather not almost drown in learning to trust.

So instead come meet me out of the pool.

I don't always have to be in the pool. I don't have to be in the pool at all.

Maybe I need to learn to trust the water, trust myself. 

Maybe I need to learn to swim by myself. 

That way if it goes wrong I've only myself to blame.

But if it goes right then I can learn to trust in myself and can look after myself if it all goes wrong. 

Sometimes we have to be the person to build ourselves up.

Sometimes we have to be strong for ourselves.'

 

 

 

1 month ago. Mon 11 Feb 2019 02:15:22 PM IST

 

I think in today's world this is worthy of posting and not just for woman but everyone. 

 

The power is never in the insult but in the way the insult is taken.

 

If we have enough self belief, if we know ourselves, of we are strong in ourselves then these insults will never matter.

 

In order to be strong we have to know ourselves, our weaknesses and surround ourselves with people who know us.

 

Our strength lies in in all of us together. 

1 month ago. Sun 10 Feb 2019 01:19:20 PM IST

1 month ago. Fri 08 Feb 2019 06:38:40 PM IST

"How often do we choose the easier path, the path that others have trodden before,  where we have been told the lay out  and know the pitfalls? 

I again am sitting in the water (yes you heard correct - in the water). The water splashes around my waist. My ankles crossed out in front I'm enjoying the sensation of the water against me, the slight push and pull I can feel. The power of the water all around me, almost calling me in further. 

But I'm not one who underestimates the power around me.

You might not always be able to see it, the smoothness of the waters surface, the gentle ripple at the edge. 

But it's what's underneath where the dangers can lie. .

The part you don't see but potentially are the most dangerous. 

Being in the water makes you vulnerable, susceptible to the lures of others. 

Others may prey on those vulnerabilities, use it against you and may be lead you to darker more dangerous waters. 

It's at those times that the friends you have made can support you. 

They can give you advice, especially if already in the water and are aware of it's currents. 

They can let you know if maybe today you should sit out especially if you're not a strong swimmer. 

Or maybe they can reach out and help you in the water. 

Others you may not know but lurk. The long timers. They know the waters. Have a deep respect for the waters. They can already swim but often are found quietly in the background. 

If around they will often throw a lifeline out for a newbie in distress. 

There knowledge is vast. 

They have already travelled the road less trodden, have already made a pathway. 

Do we follow or go our own path?

That's for each  individual to decide. 

There is a pathway in front of me. 

It's already made. 

However it's different times now, the weather is different, the road is not as I'm.good condition as it once was. Maybe it's when in places, maybe I have to deviate at times. I face different risks, but still there is a path and for that I'm grateful.

The path may be the same for us all but the journey is individual for each and every one of us. 

We don't walk at the same time so each journey has its own pitfalls, it's own problems  

I meet others along my way,  we walk, talk a while. 

We share stories, advice given and then we go on our way. 

I'm often found in no rush. 

Walking bare foot, twirling in the sun, singing out loud or making daisy chains, 

Often with a book in tow. 

Taking time to find me and so far I've decided I'm not bad. 

I quite like me!"

 

 

 

 

1 month ago. Fri 08 Feb 2019 04:35:20 PM IST