Okay so BE WARNED -- This can be boring, like really boring. I'm only venting here. Any views and opinions are welcome here (although keep in mind that I might not appreciate them all)
Here goes.....
I was in a vanilla relationship and it was going good. Too good. We NEVER fought in 3 years. And I always end up arguing with those I love. Something was off. I always got this feeling that the "perfect" relationship had something imperfect about it.
I love reading books and I stumbled upon some eroticas (disguised as novels) and I went "This is IT !" My boyfriend had been ignoring because he was "busy", so, I went over, met him and broke up. (Evil laughter)
Well not so much, in the next few seconds I was a crying mess. I was told that "I'm not allowed to breakup" and that all of those 3 years ( which btw I was serious through) were for his "sexual gratification" (though I don't think he could spell it right but that's what he meant). So I flipped a bird in his face (and I would rather die than tell fuck you coz I won't ever again !) and stormed out. Once back home, I cried my eyes out.
Luckily (or unluckily) I have friends who took it upon themselves to make me feel better. They visited, took me out, we partied and I started feeling better about my life. When the other tragedy happened.
A Rape Attempt by my one of my school friends (without being drunk which might have been an excuse). To those who don't know, at my place, you don't tell anyone if a guy mistreats you or you become the laughing stock and gets to prove he's a man (which I'm sure he wasn't).
That was it for me. I broke. Closed myself inside my house. Stidued. Read novels. Escaped reality with all my might. And began preparing to leave house and shift to another city in the name of my job.
That was when I landed a few BDSM eroticas and the idea intrigued me. After the last tragedy, choking myself helped me ease my panic attacks. And I was never afraid of knives, blood or pain as long as it was on my body.
And ta-dah !!! I'm here on CAGE !!! Cage has been my refuge. Being absolutely honest, my life has begun getting back on track only because I can talk to people here freely without the bias surrounding me in my life. I can finally breathe...
Glad to be here !!!